How weird is it to contact your ex's ex?

[Anonymous]

I'm not going to go into too much detail! But, basically my boyfriend well ex. left me for someone else. And now they're not together anymore. Would it be weird if I contacted the girl. I mean... I'm just hoping maybe a friendship might could come of it? Or just to let her know he was a jerk. And she wasn't the only one he did that way! (He was a major player!)

Pretty weird.

Not weird.

Updates

+1 y

If it's weird! Why would it be weird?

Updates

+1 y

The relationship with me and him only lasted about 2 months. Same with this girl. It lasted about the same time. I don't want it to be weird.

[Anonymous]

Well you shouldve told her when she dated him. Now is too late, but if you want to then go ahead. It would be a bit awkward for her though. Its quite weird because it would seem like you're still interested in what your ex is up to, and not quite moved on yet

[Razzle-Dazzle]

Pretty weird. I'd never contact a girl my ex left me for. It's best left in the past, and just move on from the whole situation. Nothing good will be gained from it. She'll probably know by now what sort of person he is anyway

[FashionQueen86]

Even if he was a jerk, I wouldn't say anything bad about somebody to someone else. To me, that's just not a way to start any relationship. Keep your tongue clean and it will pay off for you by eliminating drama.

[AlexisFaye]

See this really only depends on how big of a POS this guy is and how long you both dated him. Have you ever spoken to this girl before?

[ProbablyTooMature]

The question says ex's ex... but you're asking about contacting your ex's current.

And yes it's weird. Why do you want to be friends with some girl you don't know simply because she's fucking the guy who left you? Something's off in your head.

[Asker]

Well, actually the girl he left me for he's not with her anymore... so it is my ex's EX...

[ProbablyTooMature]

Doh, sorry. Glossed over that part.
Still weird. Are you going to try to befriend every girl he lives in his wake?

[Asker]

Nope! I'm not! I just feel like a part of me should reach out to this girl. But, I'm not sure If I'm actually going to do it or not.

[Streamhopper]

Uhm... tho I think I see where you're going with this, just... don't.

[Asker]

Ok. Can you explain to me why it might be weird? Please.

[Streamhopper]

Well, let's start with what I think and see if I'm right. You want to meet this girl because of your shared connection with your ex. So far, so good, or you wouldn't be this far. But that's your *only* connection. Your only link is a failure you both shared; but that's a dangerous slope to go down. What if the reason your relationship failed was totally different? What if it was the same? Would it matter? You're friend browsing based on your ex's tastes rather than your own sense. I'm not saying you shouldn't meet her; maybe you will be really good friends. But be sure the reason you want to be friends with her is the right reason - for her, and not for him.

[Asker]

Ok. Let's see if I can explain a little more. I met this guy off a dating website... we live in different states... we were only in a "relationship" for like 2 months. He ended it with me because he "didn't have time" I found out he was dating this other girl. Because of social media. now 2 months later they aren't together.
You're right I have no idea how the relationship ended. But, everyone in my life was telling me he was a player. She lives in a different state as me. The friendship would definitely be for her. And not him... I just hope he didn't treat her the way he did me. (He told me a lot of lies that i believed)

[Streamhopper]

That was what I wanted to hear - it's for her. In that case, you can try, with my full support. But realize that she may not be as receptive as you are. If you can contact her discreetly, send her a polite message and see if you get a response. If you don't, let it go. If you do, follow her lead. You're all LD from each other so there's really not much risk, but in this day and age, you have to be careful.

[Asker]

Ok. Well, if I do send a message. I know what I want to say... I just don't know how to get it started...(if that makes sense) and be careful you mean by?

[Streamhopper]

You don't know her, she doesn't know you. Be careful. That's what I mean by that. You think you're talking to a guy right now, who's 44. What's your proof of that? I could be 17 and living in my mom's basement. You'd never know. I'm not, but that's beside the point, lol.

Just be gentle with her. She went through the same thing you did. Show her you understand what happened and you're trying to be a friend. Keep the first message brief and let her respond to you. If she does, good for you. Go from there. If she doesn't, give her a week or two to think it over, then send one more message. Just one. If she doesn't respond to that, you'll just have to let it go.

[Asker]

This is true lol...
Would you mind giving me an example on how to start the message. I guess I'm overthinking (which I tend to do) should I explain how I know her?

[Streamhopper]

Lol. Silly. Of course you're going to have to say something as to how you know her. She probably won't be happy hearing about him (would you be?). Just be gentle, like writing a letter to yourself. What would you say? Hi, I'm *insert name here*. I'm a student at *such school* and I think we may have some things in common. (leave it at that, you'll pique the female interest). Or go further and tell her everything. Girls know a lot more about girls than guys do, lol. But that's what I'd do.

[NeptunianQueen]

Whyy? Let it go and move on with your life. He apparently has a track record of this.. unless you're looking for someone to commiserate with.. just please do yourself a favor and move on.. he obviously has!! Twice now!

[slatyb]

If you acquired an STD from this guy then you should contact her. Otherwise no.

[Asker]

I had not sexual relations with him. He lives in another state.

[slatyb]

So he didn't really leave you because you were never together. So definitely no.

[Asker]

He said we were together. He said we were in a relationship. He said I was his woman.

[Sephora_Addict]

I think you should avoid that situation as far away from yourself as possible. Why would you want to be friends with someone who dated your ex? Even if you're not together anymore.

[Asker]

Ok... yeah... I guess you're right...

[jacquesvol]

Rather weird with those I knew 'too much' about, good with the others

[Terry_Himmler]

For me it feels like im talking to with her for the first time

[Asker]

Huh? I'm sorry.. I don't understand...

[Terry_Himmler]

it feels like i talk with her for the first time -.- *facepalm*

[Jeniferh21]

I wonder why girls do that 😂

[lumberman9]

That would be strange

[Anonymous]

Hard up weird for sure

[jackisback9999]

yes, there's really no point.

[JoyGirl]

Pretty weird.

[Anonymous]

Kind of weird.

[Asker]

Why would it be weird? Please explain.

[Hbbbbb]

Who caresssss

[Anonymous]

No it's not weird.