Should married couples have passwords on cell phones?

[jantk]

Before we got married during daring i caught him talking to other women So my husband and I decided to take passwords off our phone as a gesture of trust. My one year anniversary is next month and he put password back on his phone. He said it was because I deleted 3 women off his IG ( not friends half naked strangers) Why do men keep passwords on their phone. I need advice I feel like he put password because he is up to something. I asked him to remove he put on headphones and told me to shut up and not lecture him

[Anonymous]

Why are you signing into his instagram and deleting people?
First of all, if he's breaching your trust you either work it out or you end it. You monitoring all of his activity isn't going to fix anything - you need to fix the problem.
Work out your deal breakers; and be realistic. Him liking a half naked chicks pic I sn't going to end your marriage; him chatting up your neighbour and asking for nudes is. Talk about your boundaries and why you feel that way without being accusatory - use "I" statements.
Explain your repercussions, "if you still feel the need to chat up women and I find out, you need to move out of the house" and stick with it.
Stop going through his things. You set your boundaries; give him the opportunity to step up to the plate without being monitored like a child.

My husband and I have passwords, but each other's fingerprints are keyed in if we need to use their phone. I would NEVER go through his things; if I was suspicious I would ask him directly and get him to show me if necessary. He respects my privacy too
We had the same kind of issues you are when we first started dating but sorted it out with the above: I made my boundaries perfectly clear and gave reasons for why I felt that way and when he broke them I kicked him out. He sorted himself out before even trying to come back and proved himself worth

[jantk]

Thank you tough above but I completely needed it.

[Opinion Owner]

Good luck with it! It's definitely a challenge but if you're both wanting to be with each other and willing to compromise it can be done. All the best!

[Brokenheartedx]

It's ok to have passwords on phones in case phone gets stolen, and each other know passwords etc
Not ok to put password back on phone that's suspious but then again so is your over reaction of going into his instagram deleting people.. so they were half naked women but If your trusted him you wouldn't be threatened by others whether they are semi dressed in pictures or not... I mean He might like their pictures but then again no doubt so does a thousand other guys also..

the main issue here is trust and I don't think you trust him.. if you think he's capable of cheatin then walk away.. did you know gut instinct is your best friend:.. listen to it.. deep down you know the answer to this question

Is he capable of cheating on me? if it's a yes then get rid of him.. if it's a no then learn to trust

[vonasaurus]

we all have a right to privacy~ your husband is probably like, "it's been a year, i've proven myself so she should trust me now".

when you tell him to take the password off or deleting people off his social media accounts,, you're basically telling him what to be secretive about... instead of nagging him, initiate a mature adult conversation (ie: "if i had half-naked men on my social media accounts, how would that make you feel?").

that said, you married him knowing that he has strayed before... and the fact that you are married to someone you don't trust tells me that you have issues too. just end it, and it'll be better for you both.

[slatyb]

Where's the love? Your marriage will fail unless something drastic changes. It already sounds pretty miserable. You don't trust him (maybe with good reason) and he doesn't respect you. in my opinion you would be better off without him, then maybe you could find someone who can give you love.

[OlderAndWiser]

You have problems. Does your monthly cell bill itemize all calls and texts? Do you have access to the bill for his phone?

[Anonymous]

I'm married I have a lock he doesn't... I don't think about going through his phone because I didn't marry a guy who's phone I thought I would need to ever look at! Mine is locked cause I work in the public and all our family stuff is on it! Ur mad cause he put a pw on his phone and immediately thought to the past, which would suggest u haven't forgiven him for what came before! Could be y he was defensive! He shouldn't have half naked women on his phone but that's most men so I don't think saying ur marriage is over is kind of a jump! U may need to chill and he may need to be more honest! It's all about what ur going to put up with

[annabelle1995]

wow half naked strangers? i think he is up to something and i am sure you are uncomfortable with him following half naked women, i would be for sure. me and my fiance, then boyfriend agreed that we would not follow any accounts like that. i mean why would you if you are in love with someone else? and he shouldn't be telling you to shut up, that is disrespectful... best of luck to you <3

[DukeKolslaw]

Pornography?
Maybe he is buying you a present having secret conversations about it?
Planning an upcoming event for you? Anniversary? Birthday?

or on the bad side of things he's cheating and I can't help with that :[

[Anonymous]

Everyone should have a password on their phone, in case it gets lost.

I never let ANYONE have access to my phone, and I'm not doing anything wrong. I've never cheated. However, if I'm having a conversation with someone, they know that I am the only one reading what they write - it is no one else's business.

My parents have been married over 40 years and don't know each other's passwords.

[Poppykate]

I think that it's weird that a married man has other women sending him nudes!

[Anonymous]

This is the age of nude women (feminism). Of course he's up to something. There are too many weak men out here. Look at the societal statistics for infidelity - It's getting worse! Marriages and meaningful relationships just don't last. They need more guys like myself "Super Mangina". Kick this guy to the curb. He's a wasted shit piece.

[meatballs21]

I have passwords on my phone because I am entitled to privacy; and if my phone gets lost or stolen, strangers can't access my information.

[Iraqveteran666]

You should have passwords on your phone to stop strangers accessing them but not keep them from each other. You should not have deleted people from his phone, trust is important.

[pooper89]

Wow that sounds extremely immature. He's trying to keep score. But you shouldn't have deleted them without discussing it with him first.

[karahiri]

I think it's essential to have passwords. I do banking on my phone. That shit needs to be protected.

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

No married couples shouldn't have passwords on their cell phones.
By what you said here i think you have every right to be inquisitive about things.

[Anonymous]

That doesn't sound like a healthy relationship. Try to talk to him but don't accuse him of anything or use any wording that hints to it just share your feelings and leave it open so he can share his.

[Leeviathon]

Passwords are security feature so that strangers dont access your info if you leace your phone lying around.

[shyramarie1]

depends if you are messing around with other lovers

[grkmanga]

I'm not currently in a relationship but even if I was I would have been password. It has nothing to do with a girlfriend... but more with anyone else finding the phone. Private details can be stolen.

[Maxemeister]

Wait wait wait u deleted people off his Instagram and expect him to be cool with that? It's his account, he trusted you with it and you let him down

[Dred1614returns]

I'll always have one on my phone. If my phone gets lost or stolen, I don't want just anyone to be able to get in.

[Anonymous]

You shouldn't have deleted anything of his.
I agree with his feedback.

Generically, there should be no access protection on electronic devices in couple life.

[Anonymous]

The same reason woman have passwords we all need and deserve a private life.
He wouldn't need one if you wasn't nosy and deleting stuff off his phone.

[Anonymous]

I have no password. My wife does. I don't care... she handles a lot of work stuff on hers and it is a good security idea, in case of loss. I'm just too lazy to have to use a password to unlock mine :)

[Seppelson]

no i don't think so. married couples shouldn't have secrets