I voted no, and as such I haven't forgiven cheating on me (which unfortunately has happened more often than expected).
However as I grew more mature, I was cheated on and I was able to forgive. The reason? It depends sooo much. And also, if you've ever been a cheater for whatever reason (specially if you don't consider yourself a cheater) it teaches you a lesson on how to understand what goes in the mind of the cheater. And as such, it is your maturity and strength that will show you which way to take, even if the way of forgiveness can be very hard.
As a male, we all are testosterone walking bags, and unless we have the experience to value what we have in our relationship, or overmore to understand what it would be the other way around, we are cheaters by nature and often no need for emotions is implied.
My experience has taught me that usually females do have more emotions in their cheating practice, but that is not a rule and those emotions are often distorted by their sexual desires. Males can fall in that distortion, but females are more prone to it. Yet it does not mean that the cheating was sexual, and if you are a male who was cheated on, you have to analyze things to the extreme, and make sure to put yourself into her position. This functions also the other way around.
Forgiving an infidelity is hell. Beware that the use of my logic and analysis can forgive her mistakes, but because they are sexual they will effect my mood anyway, since sexuality is a primal instinct. Yet, you can forgive, but forget is more difficult, and thus not having he pain.
I have done so in the past, couldn't give a straight answer. Depends on the person, and the way they cheated.
At the end of the day, they've betrayed my trust and if they don't show enough drive to regain it, then there's no point forgiving them as s relationship can't work without trust.
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Anonymous
(25-29)
+1 y
I once did. It was a weird situation. We got together right after he broke up with his ex-girlfriend. A few months after we got together, he went back to his hometown, and they hooked up. I didn't know until months later. I felt that something was wrong, and though I would not usually do that, I looked at his texts. And he had texts from his ex. But basically it was saying that it was a big mistake and he shouldn't have done it and he's in love with me. I felt upset obviously, so I asked him about it. He said they were drunk and old feelings or habit came up, and that he has regretted it ever since but didn't want to tell me because it was his mistake and his burden to carry. I didn't speak to him for almost a month while thinking about what to do. But in the end, I knew I trusted him when he said it was a drunk mistake and that it would never happen again. We've been together for 5 years now. If it happens again, I will not forgive him. Fool me once...
@Doubtsruth Now, yes, but it was difficult the first year or two, because I'd get jealous a lot. But then again, it wasn't a random girl in a bar he broke up with, it was a woman he thought of marrying just months before and then broke up with and probably still had some feelings for at the time. So I tried not to worry about random girls. We also had a complete honesty policy, where he couldn't hide things from me but actually had to include me in what he felt, even if it hurt me. After about 2 years, I didn't really think about it anymore, and now it seems like a different life that this happened with.
But I also have a friend who's boyfriend cheated and their relationship is really rough now. It was years ago but she still calls him all the time to see who he's with, she yells at his female friends, etc. It's not fun.
I also obviously have a no contact with exes rule for him now. If an ex contacts him, he needs to tell me. Prior to it I was pretty open about being friends with exes, because I'm friends with exes too. But he lost that privilege, and he understands why it can't happen too.
@Doubtsruth No worries! I hope it helps! Don't be too lenient though, I think if the situation was different and he wasn't going through a hard breakup when we met and just hooked up with a random girl, I wouldn't have forgiven him.
@Doubtsruth Why are you not sure? Was it one of those on the line things like flirting/hugging, etc? If it was, then I'd sit down with him and make your boundaries clear, so he knows what you think is cheating. But be reasonable, you can't say that talking to another woman or being alone with another woman is cheating, or sth like that! Good luck!
Yeah... I already did that I just... it’s like sometimes I trust he didn’t do it on purpose and would never cheat and others I’m just so afraid he did and will... and I’m afraid I’ll always feel this way,.. I’m gonna put here the question if u feel like giving your opinion I would appreciate! https://www. girlsaskguys. com/relationships/q2757544-was-this-cheating-could-he-not-know
It’s hard to say what I’d do because I’ve never really been in a real relationship yet but there’s one particular instance I know I can forgive cheating. If I’m neglecting my boyfriend/ husband and he tries to tell me but I don’t listen and don’t change what I’m doing... I feel I can’t really be upset that he cheated. But if I’m doing everything within my knowledge to make sure I’m being a good girlfriend / wife and he still steps out on the relationship... I don’t think I’d want to be with him anymore.
Cheating is always a choice and someone has numerous times during the planning period to say whether or not they’ll cheat. There will always be temptation no matter what, if they choose to give into it, that’s not a man I need in my life
I couldn't forgive a heater because that's the only thing that sets your relationship apart from everyone else is sex and that intamacy between you and that's what makes your relationship special and stronger not to mention so much deeper than all the rest. But you cheat what is left between you two obviously the relationship meant nothing for one of you to betray your partner an share something only u two should I hate cheating liars
Ain't got time for that. Even if I loved them and threw away all self respect to "make it work" I'll always be drowning in resentment every time I look at them and think about that betrayal. Which honestly just sounds like self harm so absolutely not.
Whether you have been in a relationship with someone for 1 year or 10 years, she cannot be trusted once cheating takes place. Other than doing it while held in Gunpoint, there is no excuse for cheating, even if you were wrong. Meaning that if there was something wrong with you then he/she shouldve broken up with you instead. Instead of breaking the relationship by cheating.
Yes, because I don't even believe in the concept of cheating in the first place, a man should be free. It's so selfish to expect him to act as if I was the only female in the whole world, when there were 154684154 others he could like or be with, Doesn't mean I wouldn't be jealous though.
HELL NO~NEVER TAKE A CHEATER BACK! Life is too short to waste time on somebody thats ALREADY fucked you over... in the very lowest, demeaning way possible. And with 7.6 billion people in the World~why chance them doing it again? Wow... if i had the chance to live my life over again. .. Id be walking on the 1's that I THOUGHT were the best
They were under pressure and gave in and failed, that was their chance, they blew it. Why would she have to be ready or get another one? Wasn't she not supposed to cheat in the first place? Do I have to tell her not to cheat?
If the person is actually sorry, and wants to get back together but if she's already moved on and doesn't regret it or want to continue it would be best to cut ties.
It's worse when they lie straight @ your face with stupid denials. Automatically I FUCKIN KNOW your lying to me and that right there is a disrespect and it's on me now to fuckin snap and return the favor.
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