there is a difference between love and sex, and just because someone has a moment of weakness and gives in to desire doesn't mean they dont love you...
when the love and respect fades, then one needs to move on, but as long as there in an abundence of both in the relationship, a little extra sex that either of you get doesn't make a bit of difference in all the world...
such as when someone carries on a secret extra marital affair for years, and no one ever finds out about it... everything seems all good and normal up until the secret is discovered, then its shock and hurt, but only to the one that found out about it... other than the shock and the hurt that one WILL get over, there is nothing different from yesterday when the secret was still in the bag, and today when its found out... as long as the love and respect can be maintained through the hurt, you should be able to move on happily ever after... with them still getting a piece on the side, IF it is still a thing by then.
or another scenario... the same but the cheater dies before the secret is found out, and its a few years later before it IS found out... what difference would have been made in that time span between him cheating and one finding out about it... other than the cheater passed away? NONE.
It kinda depends, if I beleived the ment it than yes, but they only get that grace 1 time, and after that one time some things need to be established, they have to be completely open about places they are going and who they are going with wich they won't like but they forfeited your trust when they cheated. So again yes but only the first time and establish some ground rules with them. Rules within reason of course, but still if they want to be with you they need to earn your trust back again. When people first meet each other earning trust is easy, but after losing it once its hard to build back again so make sure they know that.
I would typically say no, however I have done this. This is something that you have to decide for yourself based on how you feel about your relationship. It's HARD to repair a relationship after someone cheats. Very hard. You have to be willing to work at it. The cheater has to be truly remorseful, if they are not then nothing will be accomplished. Then both people involved have to take steps to repair the relationship. If this is something you are truly considering I would recommend to first take a step back and evaluate your relationship as a whole to see if it's truly something worth trying to salvage.
If someone is regretting, of course it's worth giving another chance, because everyone has the right to improve in themselves. But then the big question arrives here if the person who is regretting is truly regretting or not. Is the truth embedded in his/her heart? Or it's just the volatile thing and nothing else? Many times this happens that the person doesn't know what his/her own mind!! So be very careful while forgiving anyone. Just remember do not do injustice with the person or with youself!!
Perhaps, but it would depend on the rest of their behavior towards me over the years. It may also depend on who they cheated with and why they cheated. If they cannot explain why they cheated, then it is likely that I would expect them to cheat again, because it could mean that there may not be a reason as to why they cheated, perhaps they don't have the ability to understand how it could hurt me or the relationship. If they cannot explain why they cheated, then it is likely that I will not forgive them.
one way or an other.. at the best of times as well as the not so bad. might not be right after.. might not ever.. likely the cheater can make it.. with out you... you just match the mind set... don't show all your cards.. stock up on aces.. kenny rogers song comes to mind... knowin when to hold em.. knowing ta fold em... n when to walk (getting da boot) semi gracefully... no point in beating a dead horse... n risking a storm when not fit sail.. is up to u.. fuck sailing if you ain't much of a swimmer
My boyfriend cheated on me and I forgave him but it’s quite hard to earn the trust again. It drives me crazy with anxiety. I would say it’s up to you.. if you feel like he is worth your anxiety issues and tries to support you throughout in earning trust.. you can forgive him. But I can say that you will keep on having anxiety issues 90% of the time you are with this person. So, make a wise decision depending on what’s worth.
Taking a cheater back basically lets them off the hook. They will never learn. Cheaters are like children: if they never face irreversible and hurtful consequences for their wrongdoings, they will never learn they were wrong.
Letting a cheater back into your life is like rewarding a dog for bad behaviour.
I might forgive, depending on the circumstances, but I wouldn't take them back because I'm sure they'd do it again. Again, it depends on the circumstances. Some people cheat being fully aware of it, with the intention of being a complete asshole to the other person. Those are not to be forgiven
Depends on the person, the relationship, the circumstances and if I can see myself improving as well or if its just the SO at fault. Also depend on what level they cheated. Physically? Then not so probable.
And if I somehow do conclude them coming back then it's going to be a trial-period where I expect changes and vulnerable communication. The truth. Set that period for at least 6 months.
I’m always so quick to say no on these questions because I feel like if someone puts me in a situation to hurt me then they don’t really love or care about me. But I’ve never been cheated on as far as I know and I try not to judge others who do forgive a cheater. I think I could forgive but I wouldn’t forget and probably wouldn’t want them back.
I whould, but then she probaply needs to prove herself again to me. It whould be hard at first, but i do think people deserve a second chance, becaus after all, everyone makes mistakes. Ofcours when it happends for the second time, i won't take them back anymore.
My back has limited space, if they have already stuck a knife in it, it would be unfair to others to let them have a second space. Their are plenty of people out their who would be happy to have a chance to stab me in the back and I don't feel particularly inclined to let a person have a second go of it at the risk of another not having a chance. So no.
No! NEVER, EVER, forgiving a cheater!! They did it once, and even if they don't do it again, you still can't trust them, really!! Cheaters don't usually just do it, one time! They get 'forgiven' and then assume, when they cheat again, they will use the same lies and excuses and get off again! Not with me!! "Fool me once, Shame on you! Fool me Twice, SHAME ON ME!!"
I just found out that my husband was cheating on me. He definitely regrets it but for right now we are roommates. I told him I would give him time to try and build that trust back up with me. But I know I love him very much and probably will end up forgiving him. But I don't know how that will look in the future.
I hope he doesn't but he probably will once a cheater the second time is easier because you know where you screwed up the first time be careful and take care of yourself
@Legacy95 I dont believe the once a cheater always a cheater. I believe people can change. Maybe that's naive but I try to see the best in people instead of the worst. Too much negativity in the world already
I might forgive, but that doesn't mean I'll want them back. We might move forward, and continue with that relationship, but that is unlikely. How can I trust them again? And that's just that, because the details do matter. Even though might be like "it doesn't matter." Yes it does. It's exactly why I never spoke to my ex after she admitted to an affair.
"In the moment when I truly understand my enemy, understand him well enough to defeat him, then in that very moment I also love him. I think it's impossible to really understand somebody, what they want, what they believe, and not love them the way they love themselves." -- Ender Wiggin, Ender's Game
I don't subscrube to the whole "once a cheater, always a cheater" rule, but I still wouldn't take them back. Even if you still loved them, it would take a LOT of effort and a huge amount of time for you to start trusting them. Do you really want to spend months, sometimes years, in a relationship with someone you didn't trust? For that matter, if you REALLY do love them, would you want them to be in a relationship KNOWING that the one they're with doesn't trust them?
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Anonymous
(18-24)
+1 y
no i wouldn't because to cheat, your already clearing the other person out of your mind and cheating with that person. its a selfish thing, and it hurts the other person, and if there selfish enough to hurt the other person like that, then they don't respect you. if they regret it after, well that's unfortunate because they probably weren't regretting it while they were doing it with that guy or girl.
Forgiving? yes. If my partner made a choice to betray me, I have to take the bitter pill and to accept the fact that love in our relationship was an illusion of the little boy inside me who wants to be loved.
It's over with trust and loyalty from my side and it's straight forward way to a breakup. It's just question of time, because nothing in heaven or hell will convince me to take affection seriously that a cheater gives me.
No because I wouldn’t be able to trust them again. I wouldn’t believe I was enough, beautiful enough, smart enough, entertaining enough etc. I would rather be sad and single than miserable and in an unfaithful relationship.
Nope, the whole point of a relationship is to be with one person and be loyal to that person. I don't see why someone would get involved in a relationship and just cheat, that's pretty fucked up. Also ruins something good that could of been better if it weren't for some one thinking with their vagina or penis.
Never, there’s no excuse for that much dishonesty. Cheating is only for cowards that are too afraid to break off their demising relationships. Or they are simply toying with people’s emotions. Both of those are unacceptable in my opinion.
I'm so surprised that anyone could cheat on you I personally couldn't cheat and never have My wife cheated 3 times Once with he X Next time I was seriously ill and admitted in to hospital she cheated with a mate of mine Neve got to visit
I could forgive and be willing to continue fucking the snot out of her. We could be friends, but I would never trust her again. I would never consider her for a life-partner or marriage.
Hell to the no take your dirty cheating ass somewhere else. They only get off by cheating on you and if you're not with them they can't get off.
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Anonymous
(36-45)
+1 y
Nope. Hard pass for me. If the person thought it was okay to betray my trust and hurt me like that, they're not someone I need in my life. No amount of "sorry" is going to make me think you belong in my life after that.
Accept that it happened, but I don't have to forgive them nor forget what they did. I'd rather give them the middle finger than to associate with them. Not being bitter though, just being blunt about my worth.
Forgive yes. But the relationship would have to end because things are never going to be the same again. I would be very mad initially and eventually not be mad, but clearly the relationship would have to end there.
I can "forgive" most anything, but that doesn't mean I'd continue in a relationship with them. Those are two different things. Just because "I forgive you", it doesn't mean "I want you" again.
Not a chance in hell. I thought at first "once a cheater always a cheater" wasn't true, and I took my ex back after she cheated on me. 6 months later, I find out she was cheating again. I'll never make the mistake again
I forgive but I don't forget as easily, relationship is bound by trust and loyalty. I may be their friend in the long run but I will not have the same feelings for the person that brought distrusting baggage to the relationship
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Anonymous
(25-29)
+1 y
Nope not happening. They don't deserve my sympathy or acceptance for their stupid choice to betray my heart.
No use, if they cheat on you they don't love you enough to consider what their actions do to you. I was cheated on and forgave her and then she did it 2 more times. Not saying all cheaters would do it again. But they did it once.
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