My boyfriend cheated on me with his ex girlfriend while drunk.

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend and I have been dating for just over a year now, he is the first boyfriend to make me feel alive and I love him deeply more than anything. I try to be the best girlfriend I can be to him, and my friends say I treat him like gold. I recently found out he cheated on me with his ex girlfriend. I questioned him on it, and he denied. After asking him about 11 times, he confessed to me that when I was out of town visiting my family he went out with a few friends and his ex. His ex girlfriend went up to him and asked him why he was being so "mean" to her, and then they walked to her car to continue the talk because it was raining. That's where they hooked up. I confronted his ex, and she denied everything. My boyfriend said that no one made the initial move? he first said they only kissed, and then I kept asking questions and then more stuff became involves like touching and so on from there. And that he felt like he was in a "middle relationship crisis" (whatever that means). He says he regrets everything, and that he was afraid to tell me because he was afraid to lose me because he knows I left all my previous boyfriends when I found out they cheated on me with their ex. Ever since he told me, he has been doing things that I enjoy but he never did before and refused to do with me, like bake cookies with me. I find it rather ironic because he knew how insecure I was about ex girlfriends before he did it. I feel betrayed by someone I completely trusted. I'm very mind f***ed, I need advice, as much as one can give.

[bluntkrayon]

I don't know why you're mind f*cked. It seems pretty clear what's happened, and what's happening now. He's cheated on you, and he's now trying to get back into the good books with you by doing things that he wouldn't normally do. But I'm curious as to know what the dilemma is, whether you should stay or go? Whether to accept it and move on, to not accept it, and ride it out until you make him leave?

From what you've written here, it looks like you've had many experiences with guys cheating on you; and as a result, you've left them all. Why should this one be any different? There may be something else in here, that you're not alluding to, to cloud your historical preference of leaving someone that's cheated on you, if you haven't already left him, and then this would all be moot.

But I must point out this fact. He was drunk. Can everyone say that they have never done something while under the influence, that they regret, and wish they could take back? I'm not condoning his behaviour. I'm just saying, we're all probably just as bad as he is (probably not to the extent of the situation, but elsewhere morally maybe), but we haven't been caught out on it. So before we get the pitchforks out on this guy, just remember, we've all been the Frankenstein one time or another. Again, I'm not condoning his behaviour; it reeks weakness to me. But I'm not going to say that I'm strong either (though I have never cheated, and never intend to).

I can only assume that you're weighing up the option of whether to keep him or not. I know what I would do in this situation, but then again, I'm not you, and I don't have all of the facts. You must remember though, that even though we intend to do something, or intend not to do something, we always don't hold true to ourselves, and generally end up disappointing everyone. You're always going to be betrayed with your trust (sometimes you can't even trust yourself), but you take that risk if you want happiness in a relationship. It's just a matter of deciding what's important to you, and what's not. What's worth bearing, and what's not. Some people are worth your time more than others; you just have to decide which of those people are.

[dudeman]

leave him don't waste your youth on him a women doesn't have many good years don't waste yours on a cheater

[Spacemen3]

ahah a woman doesn?t have many good years. true

[19876p]

Girl you are too beautiful to be wasting your time on a asshole. You are young you can find somebody who treats you with respect and doesn't feel the need to f*** his ex girlfriend. He doesn't respect you. If he did he wouldn't have f***ed his ex. When you're in love even the thought of having sex or kissing another person is a turn off. Don't you want to be with somebody who loves you back? Trust me if he is cheating now what makes you so sure he won't cheat again in the future. Now you're going to be paranoid every time he is out. I believe once a man cheats on you the relationship is over no matter how hard you try. Trust me a cheater is never a good boyfriend. Can you imagine marrying this man? If not move on because it's just a waste of time.

[YuLoveRuka]

I feel like he's just trying to kiss your ass. If you hadn't confronted him then you probably would have never found out. His ex denied it too, so they must have been in agreement that they wouldn't tell anyone that they had sex. He might be just kissing your ass so you won't break up with him. You should be able to tell if he's sincere or not. So once you evaluate your self-worth and the value of your relationship, then you need to figure out whether you can work it out by compromising, taking some time away to see how much you really mean to each other, or leaving him because you know you can do better. After all, if he was lying to you, how much of him is real, and how much is bullsh*t.

[falendove]

No matter how many nice things he does for you, it's still going to be in the back of your mind that he cheated on you. I bet your heart pumps fast and you get angry whenever you think about it. I bet that now you're going to be cautious than ever around him and you're going to have a lot of trust issues.

Trust is the building block to a relationship, for the most part. And you're going to have to rebuild your relationship if you're going to stay with him, but it is always going to be in the back of your mind. ):

[pumpkin80]

I have been cheated on and I could not be with any of the men that did that to me. It will always be in the back of your mind. In my opinion relationships are over once someone betrays you that way. If they really loved and cared for us they would not hook up with other people.

[katiesmuff]

I hope that by now you have left that looser behind and moved on. As beautiful as you are guys will be lining up to hopefully get a chance to date you. And there are some good guys out in the world who can control themselves.

[allie2791]

Regardless of whether he's sorry or not the fact remains that he still did it. He has to take responsibility for his actions and baking cookies isn't going to do it. I would dump him.

[Anonymous]

I think you just have to broke up with him.. I would never forgive someone something like that.

I know you have weary strange feeling when he kiss you or touch you.. fell trade.

[23tdmoss]

damn your friend is hella hot

[snackeyg]

Leave him. He doesn't deserve you.

[Spacemen3]

cheating is cheating.