I drunk cheated on my boyfriend what should I do?

[Anonymous]

We've been together for 5 months now, its a long distance relationship, he went away for college and we see each other on vacations (winter break and summer). I've already had a problem with hooking up and alcohol in the past, so I don't drink much anymore, especially now that I have a boyfriend. Drinking turns me into this weird party animal version of myself and I don't like it, it caused me too many problems already. To be honest I've been the perfect girlfriend until this, this past five months I pretty much avoided going out to stay and FaceTime him, but yesterday it was my best friend's birthday and I had to go. I had way too many margaritas, I was so drunk and I just wanted to get home. The weird thing is that I had no trouble curving a guy that came on to me at the party but then a friend (who lives near my dept) offered to take me home. And I said yes because I didn't want to drive in my condition and it wasn't like I was going to be alone there with him (because he has a chauffeur). I remember taking the stairs to my floor, the guy was with me holding my bag, he helped me unlock my door, I waved him goodbye, thanked him and went straight to my room to lay down. I thought he left but then I remember seeing him entering my room, he didn't say a word he just crawled into my bed and started kissing me, I can't remember exactly what we did just parts of it but I know we had sex. When I woke up he was laying there naked and I didn't know what to do, he promised not to tell anyone and I believe him (he hooked up with a friend and never told anyone, I know it because she told me). Plus I know him, and he doesn't do that kind of stuff. I feel terrible, I don't know what to do? What do you think? Should I tell him?

[D_Bone_Steak]

Technically that was rape because you were not in the right state of mind... even though, I presume, you may of enjoyed it. I only mention this to highlight that this guy is a creeper... and he's slept with your friend too, so it's important to analyze if this guy or your friend... or anyone else that may know about it, will ever be in near contact with your boyfriend. Be real with yourself (and honest), about if this guy talks to anyone or not despite what you've heard or your also female friend has heard. My point there is, guys talk... brag even, but we don't go telling females we know who they've been with, and all the details, we don't ask about it either... guy code. I mean I might be wrong, but chances are I'm not.
So is there a chance, once he's home, that he's going to be around this guy or any guy that's around this guy... because if so... holy fuck, not only did you do him dirty, but now those dudes all get to rub salt into his wound in the worse way if they so choose to.

If you're not going to tell him and want to be with him, at least be fair with him. Tell him that you can't do the LTR thing anymore, but you'll be with him if he still will have you once he finishes school... that he's free to do as he pleases until then, and so will you. Don't make this public news though, so that anyone that knows you or the creeper drunk rape guy will not know.

Finally, put the leverage down on the creeper drunk rape guy. Make sure he understands that if he tells anyone, he will be accused with rape... so it's in his best interest to realize it never happened and to never tell anyone about what never happened to begin with.

This is fair to your boyfriend because he is now free to fuck another or others if he so chooses... you can lump what you've done into this time period as well, especially if I'm right about how us guys like to brag to each other and the knowledge of the event gets to the boyfriend.

It still sucks that you actually cheated your boyfriend, but it's about damage control at this point. LTR's are usually doomed unless some cheating goes down from what I've seen in life... so if life is giving you lemons...

[Cammy137]

Tell him... or let it plague your conscience until you once again get so drunk that you have zero inhibitions and proceed to tell him anyway

[Asker]

Oh my god, I never thought about that

[dragonfly6516]

Something here first doesn't add up. Either go file rape charges against this guy, or admit to your boyfriend that you're did unhappy with him that you cheated, but you were too weak and selfish to break up with him.

If this story happens exactly as you say, you were legally raped by definition of the law, and thus did nothing wrong. But if you're lying, YOU could go to jail if you try to file charges. Either way, someone's life as they know it, is over.

[XYZTRE]

It is not rape since she said nothing.

[chloehatespeople]

She... was... shitfaced... he walked into her apartment... and... started... kissing her... sounds like rape...

[XYZTRE]

What sounds like is entirely different from what it is.

[chloehatespeople]

How do you know what it is?

[XYZTRE]

Because there is no evidence.

[chloehatespeople]

Okay but from what we know this sounds like rape or at least a shitty person

[XYZTRE]

You know nothing, she never complained about it, or never said he was a shit guy. They both woke up and were together and discussed. What there seemed like rape.

[chloehatespeople]

SHE SHUT THE DOOR OF HER APARTMENT AND HE SOMEHOW GOT IN, HE WAS COMPLETELY SOBER AND SHE WAS SHITFACED. HOW IS THAT NOT RAPE.

[XYZTRE]

Somehow got into house? LMAO
Why don't you talk directly to the author of this post and learn if it was or not? Stop throwing your non-sense to me.

[chloehatespeople]

You commented first lmao.

[XYZTRE]

Unlike you, I commented the truth.

[chloehatespeople]

Oh my god you're such a fucking dickhead

[TheBeast00]

Actually it is Rape because she would be considered unable to consent to sex

[chloehatespeople]

THANK YOU @THEBEAST

[TheBeast00]

Your welcome, I've had 2 female friends experience this and both of the guys are now locked up.

[chloehatespeople]

Thats Good

[TheBeast00]

@Chloe some people are just stupid.

[chloehatespeople]

Apparently

[XYZTRE]

Actually you both are stupid, because she said she remembers that he was in the house and started kissing her. She was in a state where she could speak, say yes or no. The fact that she said nothing and continued the sexual stuff means that it was not rape. Think logically. Alcohol only makes you unable to consent when the person is literally totally wasted. If the alcohol she drunk made her to give consent for sex, it is not considered rape.

[TheBeast00]

You can argue all you want but I'm telling you how the law sees it.

[XYZTRE]

Nope, you are telling me how a part of the law sees it. There have been many debates about it and many different opinions. And who got himself/herself drunk, who gave consent when she/he was drunk, who wondered what happened last night? If you fucking know that when you go to bar or party and get drunk, and you know that you will not remember anything or will not know what happened the next day, why the fuck still insist on doing it? Obviously that only reason makes it to not count as rape. It is only rape when the girl/boy is passed out. If she is drunk and has the power to speak for herself/himself, it is not rape at all.

[XYZTRE]

consent is consent. If she wasn't in her right mind it's her own fault. Might not be the smartest thing to do though, but it's by no means rape

[dragonfly6516]

If it happened exactly as she claimed, then in her impared state she didn't lock the door, and he has sex with her while she was unconscious. She claims she did see him leave, which means that she wanted him gone before going to sleep.

How can anyone consent while passed out? It's also been scientifically confirmed that you will NEVER recover any memories you lost while blacked out, because those parts of the brain shut off in self defense. She might have never asked him to leave, she might have passed out before that could happen, and created a false memory to protect herself from the idea that she was raped. Everything people claim to remember while blacked out, is a false memory created in attempt to make sense of what really happened.

[TheBeast00]

@Dragonfly. Agree, it's Rape

[dragonfly6516]

If it happened as she claimed, I can't stress that enough. Personally, I think this sounds like a cheater trying to stretch the truth to ease her own conscience.

[Goodwifie]

So once you closed the door on him how did he get back in?
I wonder if he did something to the door so it wouldn't be able to be locked.
This guy is a major Creep and I suggest that you stay away from him. He took full advantage of your drunken state and I feel like you wouldn't have been able to give your full consent.

[Hannah591]

Removed the "drunk" part as that's never an excuse. You cheated on him.
You should tell him and let him decide what to do next.

[dragonfly6516]

100% agree, pending that she wasn't actually raped.

[AzureGirl]

You need to tell him and let him decide if he wants to work with you to move past it or not.

[Shaft50]

It sounds like a bit of a rape scenario... this guy was only meant to drop you off home. He walked you to your door, helped you unlock it, you said goodbye (his cue to leave) and went to lay down on your bed (unknown whether you closed the door or made an attempt at it), and then this guy appears in your room uninvited. He took advantage of your drunken state (drinking less on your part would be recommended to avoid this scenario - then you may have had the presence of mind to close and lock the door properly and even if he did turn up again, you could have told him to rack off).

[englisc]

Regardless of the other details it's only right that you tell him what happened - if he cheated you'd want to know too. You shouldn't have drunk so much knowing what you're like, you didn't have to drink like that or even drink alcohol at all just because it was your friend's birthday.

[DriverSolus]

So I going to come clean here. Only read the first couple of sentences. Right. Now. Yuuup! that's pretty much how long distance relationships go. especially at collage age. That's why it's kind of silly to try to maintain one at this age. Your not going to be the same person you were in High School so you would probably have grown apart anyway.
Come clean call it off and move along. Your not the first and you will not be the last.

[demonics]

Can't for the life of me remember why people say silly things like stay away from drugs and alcohol.

"Drinking turns me into this weird party animal version of myself and I don't like it, it caused me too many problems already."

http://i.imgur.com/AY3p2.jpg

Save him the misery and break up with him, every man needs a red pill kick to the teeth at that age.

[HGG3805]

sounds like a bit of rape to me. Tough spot. He is not going to want to hear about this. I'd probably suggest not saying anything to your boyfriend. I might call the police on your drunk rapist.

[lorenzo123]

Lol. Ask God for forgiveness. Joke! If you really love and care about your boyfriend then I think he has a right to know.

[Otter92]

Don't keep this from him, but this sounds really sketchy and a form of rape to me... If it is like the story.

[Gayview_Mahat]

This sounds like you were raped fam... I would be more worried about that if I were you.

[bekkesmash]

Doesn't sound like she resisted in the slightest, and she wasn't unconscious from drinking. I am an alcoholic, I know what drinking does and doesn't do.

[Gayview_Mahat]

@bekkesmash bro you're not looking good with that comment 😐

[bekkesmash]

Don't care what I said is the truth.

[Gayview_Mahat]

@bekkesmash sure.

[Mega_illuminati]

Drinking does not justify cheating. Tell him and let him decide what he wants to do. And even if you absolutely have to go out, you don't have to drink.

[kaylaS91]

Well.. figure out if you were raped or if you cheated because you don't seem to be sure of what even happened in the first place.

[Anonymous]

How come you do this? You should be ashamed of yourself. He trusted you and you broke it! Shame on you! Go to hell. He should deserve better girls... not whores like you.

Tell him everything. If he forgives you, u are saved... otherwise... see the door

[butterbiscuits]

He definitely took advantage of you. Tell your boyfriend what happened and he might understand but I wouldn't keep this from him.

[Anonymous]

Tell him and stay away from the alcohol. Personally I hate when people blame the alcohol for their poor decisions. If i were him i would dump you as soon as i found out. Alcohol makes it easier for people to do what they would already do.

[Poppykate]

Amen! Unless you mixed it with meds.. then you really don't remember!

[false]

Thanks for ruining my faith in mankind.
anyway, dont tell him unless the guilt is really killing you.
but as you mentioned earlier, your conscience isn't your brightest side so you should be able to manage with the guilt 😉

[Caracolito]

Tell him for the sake of honesty. If you really love him tell him. If you don't tell it will be strange in the long run I guess

[Don1892]

Own that failing and probably see a therapist about the issues that you bury but come out when drunk.

[24lonewolf]

You made your mistakes now grow up, be honest, and own the consequences.

[MackFreeze]

I would tell your boyfriend, end the relationship because if you willingly cheated now, it is time to end it.

I recommend you don't continue partying and such. College can be fun without drinking.

[Humbledman74006]

Sounds like rape, but no telling what happened. I would keep. it to yourself

[Anonymous]

Break up with him, you can't manage a long distance relationship. Once a cheater always a cheater. It will destroy him if you tell him, it will destroy him even more if and when he finds out by himself

[Anonymous]

I see NO need to tell anyone, including us
and being more strict in your reform will make life easier for you, keep good guys longer

[rlvers]

Perhaps tell him the truth and tell him your feelings.

[Justinaveragedude]

1 be honest with your boyfriend, you need to be grown up enough to deal with the consquences. And
2 next time try drinking less.

[bekkesmash]

Yeah tell your boyfriend, he deserves to know, but he will probably dump you.

[e3rrr]

For godsakes tell him already and stay away from the alcohol.

[Anon-ymous1]

Well, ask yourself this necessary question: Does it change the way you feel about him?

[justice2156]

Tell him u love him so much that u did not mean to do it my I think u were not yourself tell him you are so sorry I lost my girlfriend in a car crash

[TheAshCooper]

It's the right thing to tell him but you know the risk.

[Anonymous]

well, we all make choices in our life, now you have to deal with those choices

[Anonymous]

sounds more to this, ans as a another person mentioned. Sounds like you were sexually assaulted. get a lawyer. and notify the authorities

[Anonymous]

Tell him and break up, it is a mistake that can never be fixed. Good luck.

[madhatters4]

yes you need to be honest and tell your boyfriend

[ogg996]

Your a horrible person

[Wolframium]

You should tell this to your boyfriend. Be honest.

[Just_Eve]

Tell him what happened.

[EPS259er]

Grow a fucking pair and tell the truth

[iFarted]

y'know thats rape right?

[Tohru]

Drunk break up with him

[mam26]

Yes be honest with him tell him the truth

[Insanyx12]

If he really cares he will understand

[azazel29]

Doesn't count if you're drunk

[Gothards]

Tell im the truth shit happens

[nomoreusernames]

Tell him

[licor43]

Tell him.

[disgustingweebtrash]

Tell him

[TheBeast00]

Do it Sober now.