I still think about her more often than id like to admit, its been 5 years and to me she is and always will be the love of my life that got away. Does the pain ever truly fade?
I don't think you can ever stop loving someone, unless the commit a "crime against your values". But even then, I it was not your decision to part it's really hard... Your soul is like a book and each person that comes into your life is a chapter written in ink. You can rip a page to forget about a chapter you dislike, but that will only leave a gap with a void. You would feel confused without a sense of continuity You need every chapter of your book to understand the story, and to know how you got to where you are. And sure, some chapters aren't please try but you couldn't have done any other way to be in the present moment. And this doesn't mean you will not love again. You can love someone new without forgetting your past. You have to accept that your past love will always have a special place in your book of life. But you only live in the present chapter , and the emotions brought up by nostalgic memories are only an image of something that is now inexistent, or rather something that change. We living thing continuously grow, continuously change. We don't rewind. Look back with a sense of tenderness, remember the good times, but don't forget the bad times. They make you who you are today, and they allow you to be a better version of yourself if you choose to move forward. There's someone waiting for you. Someone dying to make you happy, make you the best you can be. That person lives in the present, so don't get stuck on one chapter. And who knows what will happen, sometimes people come back, sometimes they don't. Do what feels right, don't hold back your feelings. You will not regret anything you do if you trust you gut feelings. There's no answer to how to live, how to move forward.
My only advice is, take advice but ultimately choose for yourself what you know is right for you in order to be happy and regret free.
I wish you courage
And sorry if my phrases are all mixed up and confusing. Hope you find some helpful in them
Over time, memories fade and the pain eases , until one day the pain just disappears
When a relationship ends, you go through the same grieving process in the same way people grieve when their loved one. dies. You've not only lost the person you love, you've lost the goals, dreams and future plans you made together. So you the task of rebuilding a new future life for yourself, without the person you love being part of it anymore. And that can be a daunting thought.
But a lot of people get trapped in the cycle of grief , and they keep their pain raw. They don't allow themselves to heal and move on. They reminisce about what used to be, and dwell of what could've or shouldve been.
The best way to get over a heartbreak is to cut all means of contact, and get rid of anything that has sentimental value. Such as messages, gifts and photos etc. People tend to feed their memorises and memories feed their pain. Keeping busy and your mind preoccupied is important, because time doesn't heal your pain... it's what you do with your time that heals it.
5 years is a long time. I don't know if you’ve made the effort to move on or have just been revolving your life around them. I’ve had my heart broken by my first love. We broke up a few times and I can say this last time was def needed and therefore official. I took this last breakup really well because I gave it my all to the relationship so I basically got tired of not getting that love reciprocated. But the first few times I was miserable. I loved him and still do and miss him. But back then I truly revolved my life around him and had so much hope for us but then fast forward and there was no hope left because our relationship never got to where I had hope it would get to. Who knows if we’ll meet again I’m not closed to it but at the same time I want to be single and there’s way of us getting back together until our issues are solved. So yeah I’ve had my heart broken but I can say I’m doing good. I miss him and still really love him but I think eventually the pain dissolved when you move on
A woman can't love. they can only love what you do for them. a woman's definition of love and a man's definition of love are 2 entirely different things.
I dated a girl early on - she cheated on for pretty much the whole relationship, and it was with a lot of people. Never saw it coming. I think a few so called friends are still spending time with her and being pals. That’s another betrayal, but it’s been a common thing in my life.
That was years ago. I’d say I was over HER pretty quickly. I’d like to think I’ve moved on from all that soon after the break up. But I think that that HUGE betrayal is going to stick with me and come up when I don’t expect it. But so are all the other betrayals by girlfriends, crushes, and so called friends.
You somehow have to come to terms with this loss and move on. What happens if you don't is you will eventually stop missing her... but start missing the pain this all caused because you lived with it for so long. That is something you don't want... is to be addicted to pain.
5 years is a long time. I can only share how I do this. I see relationships as a beautiful thing. This person came to my lfie to share love with me and i for him. Now that time is up for whatever reason, I take the beauty that we shared and put in a safe place. It adds to my love that I already have. With that gained positive energy. I gave again to those who need. Can be an old lady walking down the street who needs help. Children playing in a park and I join them... At home, when alone, watach funny videos, read gag :) write down your thoughts. Take up new classes, interest. Do anytihng to move forward... Life/the world is so beautiful. I want to give the love i have in me that i have learned to those who need it. Hug, cry, let your feelings go... free yourself... xoxo...
It fades but it doesn’t ever fully go away in my experience. I had my heart broken by my first boyfriend (around 4 years ago now) and I can still feel a twist in my stomach every time I think of him or what happened. I’ve been able to move on and be with others but I don’t think that pain will ever fully go away.
One way to get over someone is actually think about their flaws, some people will try to say "my ex was so perfect" don't think that way if they were so perfect they would had accept everything about you and you guys wouldn't had broke up. Think really hard about all the negative things they did to you and eventually you get over them. That's what works for me if I want to stop liking someone I think of all the times they were horrible to me or someone else and it usually helps to say "fuck it I am done with you being in my life get lost" and I don't feel bad for behaving this way.
It took me a year to get over my ex. I thought about him several times every single day. Literally. I thought maybe I was obsessive and that's why it was hard for me to let go. But from my experience, the pain dulls over time. Sometimes when I talk about the messed up shit he did to me in the relationship it hurts a little bit but not as bad as it used to be. It's just one of those things that happened. It almost doesn't feel real. Like it's something that happened to me but I feel like I am watching it through the screen of a movie theatre. Like it's someone else's movie but it's my own. I've changed a lot since then so maybe that's why I feel like a different person when I look back.
Yes and no. I think we just lose that innocent part. we never love as trusting anymore. The stakes become higher. The world is scarier. we develop an invisible fear. Mostly like you probably don't miss her anymore. But miss what you were and how you felt. You know that part where we had nothing to prove. It was unconditional love. You were able to give unconditional love. It is hard not to miss those feelings when they felt so easy to give and then just gone.
personally i still hold a grudge and haven’t completely gotten over the fact that my ex, who i broke up with a year ago, cheated on me with multiple women. obviously looking back now, it doesn’t hurt like it used to bc i don’t have feelings for him anymore, but it still is a slap to the face.
I don't think it really ever does. I still hold a torch for the first man I ever fell in love with even though I know he's wrong for me, he's always in the back of my head as much has I've tired to move on, I've just learnt to accept it but it still doesn't change how I feel for him
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Anonymous
(36-45)
+1 y
First of all I'd like to say how sorry I am that your going through this. Love is one of the most horrible experiences in life when it doesn't go as planned.
Unfortunately, according to my research, she will always be the love of your life. The joy of love right? I still love my ex but we just can't be together. It breaks my heart to think about him. I dream about him and wake up in tears. I just wish it was able to work out the way I wanted it to. He still loves me too. Weve been separated for about 6 years now and he still messages me. I will always love him and he will always love me. We currently dont have any contact because even tho he messages me I dont respond😔. And he still continues to do it. It really breaks my heart😔.
I wish I had better news for you my friend but I dont. May I ask why you dont contact your love?
Well I never fell in love but I never understood why peoples miss their ex this much. If they were separated because of death, or something that both couldn’t control then it would truly be a mess, but even in this case it’s not an excuse to be this sad. but if a guy leave me for another woman I don’t know why I should be sad since a jerk is never missed. Everyone is replaceable. I’m not heartless but it’s very stupid to be sad because of a messed wrong story
If the pain has not very significantly faded by now, you need to get some grief counseling, so you can live a better life. By this length of time, you might still feel sad and pain at times, but it should largely be over and you being very involved in life, and happy.
Nope it sure doesn’t. Over time you will learn to deal with it better your heart will harden a bit and you will think of her less and less often but when you do even years later it will hit you like it just happened and no love will ever be like that one not ever again
Not for me it hasn't. I still feel very betrayed and depressed immediately when I'm reminded of my ex. Even though I could never be with her again after what she did, the idea of her and how I felt during that time reminds me of why I miss having a girlfriend and hate being single. Having a partner by your side really does help fill the void to make you feel whole.
The guy who just broke up with me today, it hurts really bad inside and i don't think i'll get over him. But i hope this feeling goes away. I will try to get busy as much as i can.
Maybe. Typically this type of pain goes away far sooner. This is why I think love is a fools errand. Seldom does it turn out well for the course of both parties longer than a few years and the wreckage it leaves isn’t worth the enjoyment.
I believe it was Shakespeare that said “it’s better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.” I’m not sure you’d agree with that.
In my experience, yes. Of course you never forget the person but with time you can be able to think about that person and don’t feel any pain. When I broke up with my ex boyfriend 9 months ago I though that I was gonna died from the pain but now, I’m 100% healed and I didn’t think that was possible.
No it reminds you and educated you the successive other encounters you face even if it’s promising, the next times around you judge more critically. It’s good we all need that. Self preservation and protection.
It definitely fades, I've had 2 real loves the most painful break ups and took a couple years to get over but I'm moved on from them too someone so much better but the memories of us are still there but I could never go back to them like I would've a few years ago.
It does indeed, you sometimes think that will never happen but it might go away in an unexpected way. In my case I felt that, but although she never did anything to me, I saw her being a complete jerk to people after some time (years) and seeing how she had changed for the worse made me stop feeling like that really quickly
No. If you've had history with someone (long or short, irrespective of time) you'll never forget it no matter what the situation and outcome. They had some impact on you and your life (in good ways and bad) and that will always be with you.
Trust me, it does go away but that doesn't mean you will forget her or what happened. You may develop trust issues and think that nobody will love you again so keep your heart open and stay away from Her as much as you can.
It depends on how the break up was. If it was against your decision and there was no closure to it, of course it will be harder for the pain to go away.
New love will help you heal hopefully and let go of that pain.
Define heartbreak, if I take a risk to build an emotional connection with someone and that person has the ability and capicity to contribute to that emotional connection by taking risks, and given that both people work on the relationship, there is no way to break the Relationship unless either person suffers from the delusion that one person is supposed to meet all their needs
Yes you may have thought she was the one but just wait till " the one" does find you feelings for the other will soon pass.
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Anonymous
(30-35)
+1 y
I think it depends how it ended, regardless if its true love it may fade but i dont think caring or loving the person will ever fade. You can stop being in love with them but you will always have that soft spot for them, always.
Well you only live once so if that's the case you better try to get her back. To answer your question, no, heartbreak doesn't go away the pain will always be there but it does get better with time.
It does Not Fade Away Sadly Thats the harsh truth and one cannot just date any other person to forget the previous partner its mostly cheating i would say with the current partner if you are doing so
It does, when you find something to take its place. Pain Isn't bad tho, it makes you aware of things and what doesn't kill you only gives you more ways to live.
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