Do you think I cheated? What the hell do I do?

[wanted_singlelife]

i have a boyfriend he's a great guy. but I'm a nit picky girl and there's little things I can't stand about him. we've been seriously dating for a few months now. and I recently went to a party that had a lot of people from my work there. a guy I know (and have innocently flirted with many times)cuddled in one of the beds while extremely drunk. in the morning we weren't drunk just hung over and yet neither of us got away from each other and didn't get up until we had to. he's also a great guy and we get along really good. I've been told he likes me by reliable sources and I think I like him to. but I'm still with my boyfriend that I like very much too. I don't count cuddling cheating cause it feel like its pretty much like a long hug. and I hug guys all the time and he doesn't care. so now I'm conflicted between the two guys. do I just play it by ear and see what happens or is that bad because both of their feelings are in jeopardy of getting hurt? do you think I cheated? should I tell my bf? am I just being stupid and blowing this out of proportion?

[SilentVoice]

Honestly, cuddleing shouldn't be counted as cheating. Cheating in my eyes is fooling around with another person. Well, you like these two guys right? But what makes the one guy more special than the other? The ultimate goal in dateing is to find a life partner! A special someone that will always be there for you, to hold you in the darkest of times, to go through whatever challenge's together that lay ahead. But honestly, don't be overly nit picky about things, there has to be a certain understanding and patience towards your other-half, you know? Not everyone has perfect qualties, there will probably be something that annoy's you about him, but it's interesting how opposite's attract. If your comfortable with the guy your currently dating, why stop and go for another guy that could be all nice and then have a side that you haven't seen before. You may regret it, you know? If your boyfriend has good intensions, love's you and want's to be with you and protect you, why throw that away? To be in a relationship is a special thing that you share with a person, to take that love between you two and turn it into a beautiful baby, so that you know there could not be anything more beauitful in the whole world and you share that beauty with eachother! Hope I was some help, cheers! :)

[tex151]

You were in bed with another guy, drunk and you claim you only cuddled with him, that If find very hard to believe. I am sure your hands were all over each other "cuddling" if my girlfriend said she went to a party got drunk, and cuddled with another guy, I would have a very hard time believing that she only cuddled with him, and on top of that I would have been extremely pissed that she was cuddling with another guy at a party.

So I would say well I can't trust you, you were drunk and your probably did more then cuddle with him, since you like him and he likes you, so therefore she would be considered a whore in my book and I would dump her.

[wanted_singlelife]

we really did only cuddle there was a movie playin and we just laid there on the bed. we are good friends anyway and I just noticed the other night that I might start to like him. you just called me a whore for interlinking my arm with another guys. little extreme I thought.

[Anonymous]

A hug, and a cuddle in bed are two diffferent things sweety. And I wouldn't consider your overnight cuddle to be a long hug. My guy can't even hug another girl, because he considers it a form of cheating. It's touching them and feeling intimate, well, a long hug anyways and in your case I'd assume you guys were spooning? I would feel very cut if I woke the next morning to find that my boyfriend was a party and had been cuddling all night in a bed with a girl from his work. I would even quite possibly break up with him. There should be boundaries, and you need to behave. Seems liek you liked the other dude's attention and wanted it and knew there would be more feelings out of it then just friends, and I don't mean love, but keen-ness and flirtation and 'like'. I, myself, if I did that, I would feel quite guilty to be honest, but I love my boyfriend that much I wouldn't do that. But, yes, I would tell him, I wouldn't be able to keep it in. You can't put both guys's feelings on hold or play with both their minds. Make up your mind and go with one, not both.

[Artist4life]

What is or is not cheating is different from everyone's perspectives. Cuddling is toeing the line of infidelity. If you care about your boyfriend you owe it to him to at least tell him what happened. As for your dilemma, I would follow your heart. If you really think that this new guy is the one for you, don't string your boyfriend along- end it. On the other hand, if you have someone who you care about, who cares about you, it's a special thing.

In the beginning of my relationship with my current boyfriend I was in a similar situation, however I ended my connection with my temptation, was honest with my boyfriend, and we've been together ever since. Words can't describe how glad I am that I stayed with my boyfriend. He is the love of my life, and while he has certain traits that annoy the hell out of me, you learn to love every aspect of him unconditionally. Of course this was just my experience.

[Anonymous]

Hugging a guy you like and are interested in romantically is different from just regular short or long hugs. Cudding in this situation was a romantic thing. I personally believe that any romantic shared feelings is considered cheating. You like this guy and he likes you; you're in a sense betraying your boyfriend by sharing this connection with another man and also without his knowing. Yes, you cheated on him. The fact that you don't even want to say anything to your boyfriend kind of answers your own question, there. Obviouslly those other hugs he's observed were in a entirely different situation. You need to come clean and move on because obviously this relationship doesn't mean much to you. It's only been a few months and you're already thinking about somebody else.

[aventaes]

i think you crossed the line a tad when I'm single I do that too like sleep in the same bed with girls and cuddle but I wouldn't like it if my girlfriend would do that with a guy so wouldn't do it myself either and its not just a long hug a hug can be casual while cuddling is more intimate (I once fell in love with a lesbian after spending a night cuddling)

i think its best to just tell him and say it won't happen again and id try to first of all pick a lane and if you choose you're boyfriend maybe some distance from the coworker would do you and you're relationship some good

[Marciano]

haha.. A long hug ye? just a horizontal hug on a bed, is that with cloths on ye? lool ;) .. don't even try blaming it on bein drunk, you knew what you were doing that's why you remember very well, lol...Nyways, so what do you need your boyfriend for then? I think he should have a "long hug" with another girl as well don't you agree? lol

...The truth is that we don't really know what happened :P lool...but I think you do want (and wanted to) have sex with the guy and the only thing stopping you is your boyfriend (or is he? lol) ... However that's your business but I think its not acceptable, you don't sleep with no guy especially when your really drunk :).. cos now your both lookin forward to do it again. so either dump your boyfriend or you shouldn't do it again unless you wanna cheat..thats what I think

N ye, sit with him and tell him and understant what he defines as cheating...but I would "not" take sh*t like that from a girl.

[Anonymous]

Don't tell your boyfriend, you'll hurt him more. But you've got to make up your mind. You're at the crossroads, and infidelity is infidelity!

PS: As someone else put it aptly, the test is to judge if you would like your boyfriend to do the same things you did. Would you find it natural? That's the golden rule... do unto others, etc.

[CallMeLucas]

I don't think I'd consider that cheating. But it is very close to the line, I'll tell you that. And no, your not blowing it out of proportion. If I saw my girlfriend cuddling with some other guy I'd flip sh*t. And I'm not even the jealous type...

[martyfellow]

You're just having fun, and you're not ready foran exclusive relationship. Don't worry about how people define cheating, etc., just accept yourself and try to stay sober at parties with work people. The rumor mill must be churning away there!

[SrSmokesAlot]

woah.. I'd be pissed if I found out about that. no matter how 'innocent' you say it is.

[Anonymous]

i would call that cheating.i know if a guy did that, I would be very upset. but if you're not going to do this again, then it's pretty not to tell him