I feel like I cheated but I didn’t, what should I do?

[Anonymous]

So I don’t know why but the last 2 days I’ve been feeling like I cheated on my boyfriend while I haven’t even cheated. I started feeling like this when someone I talked to before I met my boyfriend started to talk to me (to make it clear no I have absolutely no feelings for that someone, I didn’t wanna talk to them). And I just wanna stop feeling like this when I didn’t even cheat cause why the hell do I feel bad about something I didn’t even do in the first place? I don’t understand but I just want it to go away.

[wankiam]

maybe its because you haven't told your boyfriend about it so whilst it was completely innocent you have indeed still hidden it

[Asker]

It might be but I’m afraid that if I tell him he will overthink and think I cheated. Cause i don’t think I should say the cheat word

[Asker]

And isn’t it weird if I tell my boyfriend everyone I talked to before I met him?

[wankiam]

i dont think you need to say the cheat word either but you could have just mentioned the fact an old friend has re appeared. if your boyfriend was to over react then thats his problem

[wankiam]

this isn't about telling him your whole past but is about right now

[Asker]

I ignored the other person though, it was an old creep who helped me with Spanish and eventually he began talking sexually to me which I didn’t appreciate and I blocked him and he threatened me etc. tried to find out my location but failed and things like that.

[Asker]

I’ve had multiple people like this who did this to me. I had an “friend” who I really thrusted online and I told him pretty much everything about me bc I trusted him so it’s kinda obvious and when I got together with my boyfriend he got mad at me and fat shamed me, threatened me with all kinds of things so I blocked him and he found my social media and threatened me there with some other bullshit. My boyfriend knows of this though

[wankiam]

better to concentrate on real world friendships dont you think... the internet is full of people you can't trust but that aside, if this other guy is nothing more than a friend then i can't see why you wouldn't mention him... i have made friends with girls male friends before if they are just cool people

[Asker]

I’m not afraid to mention him but I don’t know how to

[wankiam]

in casual conversation about each others friends perhaps... if you make a point of mentioning him i can see why alarm bells might ring with your boyfriends... especially if he overthinks things like you do

[Asker]

He doesn’t really overthink, I’m a really bad bad bad overthinker like the worst overthinker ever. I I sometimes have things things like this that just suddenly pop into my head and then I have to tell him since I always have to tell him anything I think of else I’ll literally die. I’m a really bad overthinker and my boyfriend thinks the same and I don’t want to be but I don’t know how to help it like it just happens

[wankiam]

well there's no simple answer i can give you to make it go away but do consider this... most self defeating people overthink stuff too. they ruin their own lives in the persuit of 'what ifs' so at least try to chill out a bit if you can

[Asker]

I know, overthinking is my biggest personal problem and my boyfriend helped me a lot with it bc I tell him everything that’s on my mind but he moved to another country so we’re having a long distant relationship now. Which is not fun but I love him and I’m able to do it this way as long as he’s with me. I’m really glad I have him and I wouldn’t give him up for anything ever

[wankiam]

ah well there's a whole new angle there then... if he isn't even in the same country i dont see why you need to tell him every little thing that happens to you in a day so i definitely think you need to chill out more

[boggboss]

It's because you are hiding it but even then you just need to stop overthingking

[Asker]

And how do I stop overthinking?

[Iron_Man]

Perhaps your losing Interest and you're feeling guilty about it

[Asker]

I’m definitely not losing interest, I love him more than anything and he’s everything to me

[Iron_Man]

Then why do you feel like you have cheated

[Asker]

I have no clue, that’s why I’m asking this