Do you drop a friend if they follow an abusive ex and his family on Instagram?

[Ellew4]

I've known this girl for over 30 years. We go through periods where we don't talk for years. During one of those years, she was following my ex and his family who were so abusive to me on Instagram. Naturally, I am pissed off and hurt. When I bring it to her attention about how unforgivable that is and how I can never trust her, she lashes out at me going on and on about the things I've done to her in the past. She brings up me making fun of her being flat chested, sleeping with a guy I knew she liked that she was about to date, how I've yelled and cursed at her, ditched her off, I was happy to see her in pain and agony, etc. for no reason. All these things were from when we were in our teens and early 20's. I mean, we're near our 40's. She needs to let it go! Her logic is that she forgave me for so much I've done to her, so what's the big deal? How can she think that she is justified befriending my abuser and his family over stuff that happened so long ago? I'm so tired of people defending her saying that I should forgive her. Am I wrong for never wanting to speak to her again? Is she in the wrong for following my ex and his family knowing how awful they were to me?

[Oliverlogan263]

Woah, that's messed up what your friend did by following your abusive ex on Instagram. After knowing what you went through, that's just super disrespectful.

I get she's mad about dumb stuff from when you were teenagers, but c'mon - that was so long ago! You've both grown up now. And what she did by friending your ex is way worse than any of those old arguments. Getting involved with someone who hurt you is just crossing a major line.

I don't blame you for being pissed and losing trust in her. If someone did that to me after everything my ex put me through, I'd cut them off too. And bringing up irrelevant old drama to try and justify it is super lame of her.

If it was me, I don't think I could be close friends with that person anymore either. You deserve to feel comfortable and safe with who you trust, you know? I'd say your decision to distance yourself is fair. Don't let anyone pressure you into "forgiving" her before you're ready either. You gotta do what's best for your own wellbeing. Hope things get better from here!

[Mr_twoface]

No matter what you've done in the past to them, I bet you have apologised and at some point, she must have reciprocated to the apology. Her actions now are by no means justifiable for what happened so long time ago. Nevertheless, as a true friend, she should not have friended him and his family in the first place no matter the reason. Even though you’ve known her for 30 years, sometimes cutting people off your life, is the best outcome for your own benefit and progress. They may at some point realise your point of view and apologies but if they don’t its their loss, not yours! As for what people are saying and defending her, why care what others say or believe? I feel that it is your emotions and your life, do what is best for you!

Also, who knows what she shares with him (print screens of you and your stories?) and what relationship she has to/with him. When someone tries hard to find an excuse as to why they should keep holding on to someone on social media, there is a strong red flag for hit.

[Nikki1989]

I need a better reason than that to drop a friend.

[Avicenna]

Sounds pretty toxic

[Anonymous]

I don’t Drop family member