Who is affected more by a breakup, the boy or the girl?

[shalu555]

Updates

+1 y

Answer is : its depend on who is getting more proposal

[EmbraceThePain]

Biologically speaking, I don’t see why it would be the men, despite a lot of men saying it is when it comes to questions like this. I feel like these men are bitter and/or have negative experiences with women so they are biased. Also, they do not know exactly what goes on when it comes to the woman’s side when it comes to a breakup. They’re too focused on their own feelings. It makes more biological sense for a woman to be more affected because she went more pickiness and selectivity through to choose the man than the man did to choose the woman. The woman had to make
sure the man was suitable for her so she had to get to know him, test him, spend time with him, talk to her friends about him, parents, etc. A man just sees a woman on the street and decides then and there within minutes of whether he wants to sleep with her, but a woman spends an infinite more amount of time. Now, if you want to talk about resources and who spends/gives away more money or valuables during a relationship then that’s more varied but we all know men on average are the higher earners within a relationship so in this department men may be the losers. Perhaps when it comes to the mental/emotional front, women are affected more, but financially men might be.

[TruthBringer]

Studies have proven that men take much longer time to recover from a break-up given if the guy was invested emotionally. Women can get affected aswel, but pale in comparison to a guy who is in pain (generally speaking). Women are biologically programmed to move on quicker. It's part of their adaptability in order to surivive and adapt to whomever she is with. Men on the other hand are wired very differently and feel like they have lost something irreplacable which in turn makes them feel like faillures.

Let's not also forget that women generally have a much more supportive network to help them get over the break-ups while men are expected to bottle everything up.

[meggykentums]

The only reason I think this is true is because women are quicker and more likely to think, "Good, he wasn't worth my time anyway."

Guys don't have that thought typically. A lot of men lack the self worth to prefer no girl over a toxic relationship. Sooooo many guys try to get back with their exes out of loneliness.

[Shihab91]

Because girls are emotional and they try to convince themselves that he was bad to get over him, while guys can still see the good things about girls

[ragequeen]

I think men because they are expected to bottle up their feelings and just get under someone new straight away. Some guys don't want to but experience pressure from their friends. Having sex right after a breakup can sometime make the pain even worse.

[whitehide]

I'm glad to see someone acknowledging that, thanks

[ragequeen]

Of course.

[TrainingDay]

This isn't the guy experience... It's subjective. You're speaking for 1 type of dude.

[Apope16]

@TrainingDay i think what she is saying is accurate. Sex tends to help men more after a breakup because sex triggers dopamine receptors which isva high feeling that numbs pain. For women its different. They hurt worse because sex gives them more oxytocin which is the love hormone. So a hookup hurts women more.

[KrakenAttackin]

@Apope16 Interesting. Funny how most women deny the most basic biology.

[HawkPerception]

My ex dumped me recently and that post picture you have there is a very accurate portrayal of my personal experience

She came to my place and gave me the news and I said "Alright it's your decision. I support you." in the moment, while she was tearing up and asking how I was so calm about it. Then a few months later, I'm feeling depressed and lonely as hell, always picturing the times we had together and remembering the way we used to talk while she seems to be living it up. It's pretty painful stuff.

[warrenstone]

My best advice is, post a really good selfie and prey to god that she see’s it. Even if she doesn’t respond to it, it’ll still get her emotions going again.

[warrenstone]

It’s worked for me before. I once posted a 10/10 selfie and a few days later an old friends with benefits hmu like “heyyy I miss how things used to be”

[HawkPerception]

I'll try it out, but I doubt anything will happen lol. I appreciate the suggestion!

[Anonymous]

I think both genders are equally affected, but how they handle it varies. Women tend to be very sad right away. They cry to their girlfriends, eat ice cream, watch sappy movies, cry some more. We let ourselves be sad and we reflect on what went wrong.

Men tend to act like they're okay, especially at the beginning. They don't say much to their friends, other than maybe, "It just didn't work out" or something along those lines. They tend to go about life as usual, just without their significant other. This tends to drag out the healing process.

Long story short, I think both genders feel roughly the same AMOUNT of pain from a breakup. The difference is, women experience pain at a level 10 for a short period of time while men experience pain at a level 5-7 for a longer period of time.

***Also, I realize this is an overgeneralization. We all deal with things in our own way and in our own time, regardless of gender.

[shalu555]

Have u ever cry because of this?

[t-8900]

the first few break ups for a girl can be soul crushing. But in the longer term I think guys are more affected. Well... the "nice guys" are... just absolutely devastated and I've been there. You know how we can resolve these issues? Throw ever Walt Disney movie from the top of the Eiffel tower and BURN IT ALL! THE LIES MAN! THE LIES!

[TruthBringer]

Exactly what I went through aswel. Took me almost 2 years to get over my first break-up despite me initiating it. This was years ago. I was such a nice guy at that time. It was an excruciating period of my life. But I never allowed it to break my spirit and I continued enjoying my love life

[t-8900]

@TruthBringer It's sad when I read about boys and young men taking their lives over this stuff. I'm glad you pulled through okay. You came out stronger on the other side.

[TruthBringer]

@t-8900 Oh I'm a much different person now (much better). I'm very glad that I grabbed my balls and left that relationship. Looking back, I didn't get much good out of it other than it teaching me that I deserve better and also taught me what I do NOT want within a relationship. Now, I'm a much healthier relationship with no bullshit I had to deal with in the past.

It's indeed sad to see how many good hearted guys out there get treated like shit and some of them even commit suicide because of it...

[t-8900]

@TruthBringer we need more positive male role models for boys. It's the only way. Thats why I say I might not be interested in adopting someone else's kid but I dont mind being a friend to them.

[TruthBringer]

@t-8900 Absolutely! I got a small group of young men (around the age of 18) training with me in the gym and ask me for all sorts of advice even outside the gym when it comes to studies, relationships. Young men definitely crave good role models which are a scarcity in today's society.

[t-8900]

@TruthBringer you remind me of a friend living in Frankfurt, Germany. He does the same thing. He takes all the kids on bike rides around the city to get them pushing 30 Kms with him a day.

[TruthBringer]

There is a form of satisfaction to know you're helping other people out there becoming better versions of themselves. And them looking up to you gives you the validation that you're on the right path

[t-8900]

@TruthBringer that's what I did in Freedom Outreach in Wilmington, DE in the projects. Only reason I stopped was because I walked into a drug deal escorting a kid home and they saw me and started walking toward me. I heard sirens and 4 cop cars chased them off. I never felt so fortunate in my life. I sadly could never go back after that. I was just too scarred.

[Apope16]

Studies show that men take longer to get over breakups. Women have more support networks and are encouraged to express emotion. Men have an internal pain that is hidden and lingers. Women also have more sexual and dating options. All they need is to wear tight spandex, a push up bra, and a tank top and they have a world of sex, gifts, and a new boyfriend. Men have less abundant choice than women on dating apps etc.

[livin_hi_808]

Both I think. In my own experience it depended on my attachment to the girl. If I felt a void afterwards then it showed. If not then I would bounce back like I never knew them. And time has no effect on how you process your breakup. So it doesn't define how long you hang on to it. I think with any relationship that you felt affected by during, it will always linger someway. Either on the surface or deep in your subconscious. Girls are worse with that tho lol.

[MuffinBoi]

Depends entirely on the individual. If we're talking on average, then I suppose I can try and draw from my experience as a guys. Generally, I tend to feel some initial sadness, but then I kinda get used to being single within a month or two and from there it's back to normal.

Some feel a much harder fall from the relationship ending, others may not feel anything at all. This is just my experience. As for girls, well you'll likely have to ask a few

[Lavender_Rose]

I think it depends on the situation. In some cases, it could be that both moved on and both are hurt. However, it is more seen that girls are more hurt than guys but it is often the stereotype since guys often don't show their feelings because of competition/social pressure. I have seen both guys and girls get hurt after a break up or divorce but I have seen more girls affected although I won't generalize based on what I have seen.

[jgokgotit]

It really depends on the individual and circumstances involved. I am the kind of person who puts my all and then some into a relationship. I go into each relationship expecting that we will make it through anything. I also deeply believe that love is a commitment, not an emotion. I take love as a serious oath and do not back down when things get tough. These things combined make it so hard for me to move on.

[GrimmGothBabe]

Who ever was more emotionally connected to the person during their relationship usually suffers the most regardless of gender. This usually tends to be the person who was asked for the breakup more than the person who wants it.

[ChattyGuy43]

It all depends on how long the relationship has been, how attached you are to each other, I think it's the girl that is affected more then the guy in my opinion, having said that, my first breakup was so hard, I was lost for a few months after it, she already moved on as it was a long distance relationship.

[Feelicks]

Oh please, I've never been that upset about a break up. That said I'm usually the one who breaks off relationships that aren't working.

I've only been dumped once when I still liked the person, and that was because she was a bit crazy. She said I was frigid because I didn't want to have sex with her with her dad in the next room LoL (yikes).

[nevernevernever]

honestly that's kind of a dumb question because the answer is the same as it always is for this type of question. It depends on the couple, that's really it

[cheapshotbob]

that seems accurate lol , its been a long time since i broke up with her and im still hung up on her ha ha ha , wish you was not so brutally honest asking this ha ha ha ha
i miss being young but god the hurt was real . lol

[TDeans1987]

Men, easily. Women can easily find another partner anytime they want to but most men do not have that luxury.

[shalu555]

Yes because lots of proposel for her

[Account]

I get over such things pretty fast, but I think it has nothing to do with gender.

[Siren777]

Both genders. Depends how deeply you loved that person. The longer you take the more you loved that person.

[shalu555]

What is the meaning of love?

[Siren777]

Not having to question anything meaning you never have to question their loyalty, their integrity, if they're worth it, if they love you, if they care... you just never have to question love to know that it's true

[warrenstone]

Men because women can walk down the street and hop on a new dick without any upfront investment and turn it into a relationship. Men can’t do that with women.

[JuneLady]

The girl, nine times out of ten. Men tend to get stung, but push through and focus their feelings. Women are more likely to just wallow.

[ThisIsMyOpinion]

Depends on the person and the situation, not the gender.
For example my ex tried to kill herself when we broke up. I was fine. But on the relationship before that one I was the one who took longer to recover.

[msc545]

The boy. The girl can go out and get another man in about 10 minutes or less. The man can not do that.