Why does my ex want to hurt me when he knows I'm already hurting?

[Anonymous]

Was with my ex for 4 years, have 2 kids together and have been split up for a year. He has recently starting seeing someone else and is rubbing it in my face

First of all he wanted us to be friends, telling me I was a lovely lady and should get it on with a new man, at times flirty with me and constantly texting and ringing if I didn't reply. I told him I couldn't be friends at the moment, he wasn't happy about it. Now he is telling me how much his new girlfriend is better than me,he trusts her (we split because he had trust issues), their so happy etc. Telling me I'm basically a crap person, crap mother etc..

Why be so nasty to me when he knows I'm hurting already?

Updates

+1 y

He was quite controlling, didn't want me to see my friends, didn't trust me(the trust issues were from his previous a relationship). It all got to much for me so I split with him

[Natalieee]

It seems to me that he's trying to get to you on purpose, its not nice to see an ex in a new relationship or to hear how good his life is going all while your still hurting. Act like your happy for him or just tell him that you're not interested in his life. What he is saying about how happy he is could be total bull, just saying it to simply wind you up...turn the cards and say your fine and your really enjoying your new found freedom! Your better than a guy who is going to control you and tell you that you can't see your friends...and maybe his new girlfriend will find in time his true nature.

[Anonymous]

He hates you, and is being petty enough to seek vengeance? I dunno.

[Shaun]

What did you do to hurt him?

[Asker]

He was quite controlling, didn't want me to see my friends, didn't trust me(the trust issues were from his previous a relationship). It all got to much for me so I split with him

[Shaun]

Well, there it is. You hurt him and he's trying to hurt you back. It will stop as his relationship with his current gets more real, if it does. Sounds like he didn't want to break up.

[diabloknk]

There you go. He was hurt by you dumping him, and wants his revenge.

[Asker]

Yeah I thought it would be something along those lines. He didn't want to break up and I would have took him back in an instant if he would have tried to resolve our issues but he didn't want to. Just thought that with us living together for so long that he would be beyond the whole revenge or hurting me back game. Suppose I just gotta suck it up and roll with the punches.

[Shaun]

It's sad, too bad you guys couldn't work the issues out, it's obvious that there's feelings there.