Will my ex ever realize how much he hurt me?

[josie]

He came back after 3 months after our breakup but I realized that he is not aware of how much he hurt me. Do you think one day he will realize how much he hurt me?

[ManOnFire]

He probably will, but it usually doesn't happen any time soon. People generally come to terms with what they've done and how they've hurt others when they're alone or have faced some kind of karma or difficulty that really slaps perspective into them.

But I can tell you that if you take him back, he'll never realize it. He will just think that you still love him and you forgive him, so he'll never have any incentive to make things right. In fact, he might even think it's okay to hurt you again. You can forgive, but you don't want to be naive. And if he's coming back after 3 months it's probably because he can't get anyone else, or is one of those guys who thinks he can just walk back into your life whenever he wants.

Personally I think you shouldn't allow him back into your life at all. Close that door behind you and leave it closed. All it will do is just cause you more hurt, second guessing, and stress to be re-connected with someone you know has hurt you, even if they're claiming to have changed. There's better out there.

[lightbulb27]

he might if he becomes educated, and it may require another woman to do that.

people generally only learn by way of suffering...

Specifically, I realize I hurt an girlfriend before my wife and my wife. It took a long time to really understand it though and relate.

I hate to say it, but some of us are really screwed up, don't understand women, or our own issues. It's hard to see ourselves... add to it selfishness and inherent emotional blocks, and it's just... harsh and painful.

Now factor in that I'm actually sensitive and have some empathy. Some people don't even give a crap at all, narcissistic and intentionally hurt others. That's another level.

Let me be clear though... it's on you that you chose that person and project... that... you have to reflect on and is the part you own.

[Dede162000]

I can almost guarantee he will but he may not care. Non of my exs cared. Hell my boyfriend realizes how much he hurts me and he just doesn’t care. I hope for your sake he cares

[molonski2]

Really , now its finished , its not much point in him knowing and lets hope he doesn't know because that kind of fragility doesn't help anyone , makes him feel bad , makes you feel weak , makes the entire thing so very awkward.

[Adam1978]

No men rarely dwell on feelings, neither their own or others. You should get over it, no reason to wait for something so pointless as him understanding your past feelings. It's not like it can change as long as he doesn't keep repeating the pattern.

[Alex8736]

People with Narcissistic Personality Disorder have no conscience and they feel everyone is wrong and they are always right. people like that never change

[Anonymous]

He doesn't care. The only thing that will make him care is if you die. I had to learn that the hard way

[Stevefiveo]

No, I doubt it. And even if he did, what would that change?

[brad2525]

Men dont realize that stuff. Only certain ones maybe.

[timbendkzo]

He will not realize it but he always have it in mind that he has hurt you ,

[Anonymous]

im sure he does and he regrets it. he must of been hurt too

[NostalgiaSenpi]

Not if you don't tell him.