What are my options legally against a deadbeat who's more interested in me than the child?

[Crazycookie23]

Long story short, my child's father has never really had interest in being in our son's life regardless as to how many times I've tried to allow it.

I went as far as forgiving him after being in a very troubling relationship with him, moving him into my home, putting him on the lease etc. just for him to be in our son's life, but however that turned into nothing but him laying around, playing video games, eating up all of my child's food etc. and never doing anything for our child in which resulted in him being put out.

Despite being broken up, I've still tried to keep the line of communication open for him and our child. I send him funny videos of our child even though he never asks for them. He never calls or texts me about our son.

The only time he contacts me is pretty much to see what I'm doing, if I met someone yet, and even to get back with me. Regardless as to how many times I've said no and that I only want to focus on our son, he doesn't take no for an answer. He uses these as manipulation tactics by doing this and then making everyone think that I'm keeping him from our son. He also keeps threatening to take custody but our 1 year old isn't use to him and barely knows him cause he's never bonded with him. Do I have any rights?(yes I have evidence to prove all of this)

[Anonymous]

1. The paternity laws vary from state to state in the US. In what state do you live?

2. You can get a court order that requires him to pay child support even if he is unemployed (unless he is disabled.) If he doesn't pay, he can be put in jail, have his driver's license suspended, and other sanctions depending on state law.

3. However, no court can compel a man to behave like a good father.

4. And that is why you should be more careful about who you fuck.

[Crazycookie23]

I live in Ohio and he lives in Chicago

[Crazycookie23]

Also no shit... not like he was like this when we first met he got like this over time. He tried to play the good guy and I gave him a chance, no one just willingly goes and screws a**holes. Think real here😊 let's not blame people for another person's actions
Thank you though

[Opinion Owner]

If you don't accept any responsibility for choosing the wrong guy to father your child, then you are likely to repeat the mistake again. But if you think you had no responsibility for choosing this guy, then get mad. It won't accomplish anything, but you can get mad.

[Crazycookie23]

I'm not going to take responsibility for the way someone chose to act. That's inhumane, misogynistic, and illogical. People have a good way of deceiving and may not show their true colors until after the fact. Hence me calling him MANIPULATIVE if you even bothered to read the whole thing.
Not mad, just pointing out your ignorance.

[Opinion Owner]

How long did you know him before you had unprotected sex?

[Crazycookie23]

That's like someone killing someone tomorrow and I come back and blame you for it?
Exactly

[Opinion Owner]

Okay. Professional victim. Goodbye.

[Crazycookie23]

Do you know what the term victim means? I highly doubt that you do.
A professional victim? Lmao
It's okay, you tried❤

[Crazycookie23]

Thank you for giving me something to post so that I can use you and your comment as an example of how a human being shouldn't be😊❤
Good day

[Cheechee4me]

At some point though men have to accept responsibility. A woman is usually the one to mother children. Men are free to do what ever they want obviously.

[TonyMetal___86]

Why don't you try to give him a chance and have a deal so you both get back to each other, is he your ex husband or you were never married?

A father should asks, loves and takes good care of his son no matter what happens between him and his wife!

It's always better for the kids to live under one roof between theie father and mother who loves each other and loves them...

That's why i'm saying that if your relationship can be fixed or still have a little hope than try to work on it...

[Crazycookie23]

I can't believe you literally sat here and asked that... but to answer your curiosity, no I will not get back with him. He is sleeping around with multiple women and has a bad cheating problem. He has broken items of mines out of rage, you must've missed the part where I said that he was IN MY HOME AND STILL DIDN'T PAY OUR CHILD ANY ATTENTION
He's narcissistic, manipulative and verbally abusive, so now tell me, WOULD YOU FORCE YOURSELF TO BE WITH SOMEONE LIKE THAT?

[Crazycookie23]

I don't think you're very good at reading or comprehending

[TonyMetal___86]

Why did you get so angry? I was just trying to be nice and see if things can be fixed so you live a nice life and maybe to put an end for the bad things that's happening with your, him and your son...

I never knew that he was a cheater and broke your house and all these things...

I can't help you because you can't make a bad person turns into a good person if he doesn't wanna change!

All you have to do is ignore him and live your life with your son as of the father have never existed!

[Gwenhwyfar]

Go to court. Get a judge to sign an order granting you sole custody. He will be required to pay child support and will have visitation rights.

[jasco]

Go to court and file child support is all you can do. Honestly theirs no legal way of forcing someone to be a parent. All you can do is file child support and ask the courts to have him spend some days with him. Make sure to kick him out of the house so he's force to make a choice to get a home or be on the streets. If he is what you say he is, than he will more than likely find a place to stay.

[Crazycookie23]

He's been bouncing around in different family members houses all year after I kicked him out. He doesn't save money he just spends it all on foolishness and only gives our son pretty much pocket change but as the mom, I still make sure my son is well taken care of by myself of course. I just don't want him trying to do stuff out of spite just to get back at me all because I don't want to be with him.

[jasco]

He might but you need to do whats best for your kid. You son's dad doesn't want anything to do with him so fine someone who will and get child support on him. It should at least make him start trying to do better with life

[jasco]

Good thing your a caring mom, hope one your kid will look back and be proud of ya for trying

[Crazycookie23]

Definitely lol I would love a good husband whom as well wouldn't mind being a dad❤ but I'm just waiting patiently until he arrives lol. Maybe someday

[jasco]

Good luck and I think you will find him eventually. If you need any help just ask and I will gladly give what ever advice I can give to help out

[jasco]

Well stay safe and good luck to ya. Have a bless day

[Anonymous]

How much money does he have?
What's his career?

[Crazycookie23]

He can't keep a job cause he keeps quitting them like he quit his recent job just a week ago and he's been bouncing around from state to state trying to find somewhere to live.
The jobs he always goes for though are pizza delivery jobs, or fast food restaurant jobs.
He doesn't save money so he has no car or house. And he now has to go back and live with his mom because things didn't work with him living with his cousin.
And yes he shares all of this with me.

[Opinion Owner]

What are his positive traits? What attracted you him

[Crazycookie23]

Why does that matter?

[Opinion Owner]

How old is he by the way

[Crazycookie23]

I like posting and getting advice on this app but it's people like you that make me hate it because whenever it comes to posting serious topics like this and a woman like me is crying out for help, you all look for any reason to blame the woman or look down on the woman. I feel like you're just looking for reasons to condemn me.
Not all men are good you know! And not all women are bad.
Don't patronize me about what attracted me to him because the thing is the way he is now is nothing like how he was when we first met so OBVIOUSLY that would mean that somewhere along the line (which was after we had our child) he switched. I'm sick of you no profile having misogynistic, narcissistic little boys clapping on women over shit we have 0 control over. We can't win with you mfs.

[Opinion Owner]

Is he older than? Your same age or younger

[Opinion Owner]

Your options are followed. 3/12 vistition for him. 3 days a week fri-sunday.

Also that's if he wants it. He might settle for 1 day a week.

And 20% of his income.
Which is 0-400$ at max I'm assuming.

You can't make him do anything.

[Crazycookie23]

He's 24 I'm 23

[Crazycookie23]

I don't want to make him do anything he's unhealthy for me and my child that's why I'm in therapy now and already prepared to have my child in therapy I want him to actually stay away from us. I even told him that I would be perfectly fine if he wanted to live his life and do his thing with whomever he wants and even told him I didn't want his child support and would never report him. I just want him to move on and stop bringing toxicity back and forth all because he doesn't know what he wants. He wants to keep me on a string and use our child to do that and I don't want it. I want to take care of my son and I want him to be happy and move on and hopefully when he does actually want to be in our child's life when he's ready, I'll allow it.
Right now he's trying to use sex, manipulation, and his personal wicked emotions to keep himself attached to me and I'm tired of him

[Opinion Owner]

Your child is 50% of him so he's gonna be 50% loser

[Cheechee4me]

Yes I agree often times a woman can be Saint and Doomers find fault just because she’s a woman. I wish I could say women did the same so I could hold both accountable. But honestly, I only see men bashing women and minorities anymore.

[Cheechee4me]

It isn’t 20% of his gross anymore. Especially with the way custody is arranged anymore.

[Cheechee4me]

Not necessarily. Children aren’t losers by default.

[Opinion Owner]

Nah her child gonna be loser. Because she doesn't like the fad.
That's gonna spill into the kid.

The father doesn't care about the kid.
So off the rip the kid gonna have issues.

[Cheechee4me]

Fad?

[Opinion Owner]

She doesn't like the dad. That animosity gonna spill into the kid.

[Crazycookie23]

Bitch keep your mouth off my child