My dear girl.
I understand your fear, your feelings, for I did go through with an abortion at your age. I’m 55 now and have two kids and regret the abortion.
Abortion, of course, is final.
I know you cannot know the feeling of loving a child at this moment, but this is your child, a miracle, just like you are a miracle.
Once you do have your first child, you will be amazed at the love you have for the child, and as a result, will likely be sad that you aborted (killed) one of your children, regardless about how you felt about the father.
You can choose to put the child up for adoption. You will be amazed when the child grows up and finds you and loves you for what you did. He/she will admire and love you for your strength. He/She will understand why you put them up for adoption. You will have an amazing wonderful relationship with the child you chose not to abort.
I was adopted.
I was adopted, yet, as a teen, I had an abortion, for the exact same reasons. You’d think I would have known better and wanted to be noble, courageous, strong, and loving like my birth mother. I wasn’t. I acted out of fear and concern for myself and my potential career and even future married life.
If I could take it back, I would.
A friend of mine had also gotten pregnant as a teen at the same time as me, but I did not know it. I chose abortion, she chose adoption. Her beautiful daughter met her once the daughter turned 18, it was an amazing experience for my friend. I live with my grief over never having know my child, with my grief of killing my own child. I have asked for forgiveness and hope to meet my child in heaven some day. I’m 55 and still cry to this day and will do so until I die.
If you do go through with the abortion, be prepared to deal with the grief that will most likely come later in your life.
Abortion is permanent because death is permanent.
The choice is yours. Having the child and allowing a loving family to raise your miracle child is an option. Adoption is an amazing, wonderful, heroic option, more than I can express in words.
Don’t be like me.
God bless you!
No easy way to tell him that news, especially if he’s excited about it and/or doesn’t agree with abortions. But it’s your choice. All I could really advise is going into the situation expecting the worst but hoping for the best. News like this could be a relationship ender, but at the same time you shouldn’t do something you’re not ready for just because you want to stay with him.
You’re absolutely right and Ik it’s just right now I’m 19 and ik it’s better for me and my ex to both focus on our career right now no matter how excited he is. And honestly I don’t love him I care for him though that’s why im getting this abortion in the first place I just don’t know how to put it into words that’s all.
@Ali_roller & @HollyK21 - why tell him? Hm... aside from being a nasty bitch fouler than a rattlesnake? If the abortion is already decided what is telling him going to do? Hmm... I hate bitches & whores. As do many people, other women included. Such cows ruin the reputation of women in general & why there's so many men who think that women are good for little except money grabbing, etc.
Okay this is Adult enough to get pregnant and Adult enough to both listen and process, please... with Scientific Facts:
_when he cums and you receive, in each of you is a full but separate DNA/genetic code. So, the Child already has identity, already. At conception, when you join as 2 into 1there is life.. those codes battle it out but Baby Is.
-in 3 weeks, before most people know they are pregnant, heart is formed and 100 heart beats per minute. Look, I am not a "beat you over the head bible person". That being said, in a pregnant crisis center have heard/know as that shit don't evaporate... the Regret.. b-days, yearly shame/guilt, touching another fears etc.
--Personal Decision-Family will support an Adult thinking Woman in every way. Anyway, link...
www.lifevoyage.com It might come up as an Institute. The research and founder are out of Harvard med. school SO it is absolutely accurate.
Think.. get over reaction and see Gain-not Loss
BEST- shoot me a line whenever :)
That is false
www.google.com/.../defining-when-human-life-begins-is-not-a-question-science-can-answer-its-a-question-of-politics-and-ethical-values-165514
There is no consensus among the scientific community of when life begins.
Bottom line your REFERENCES are Google and you are at best uniformed and advising people to commit murder. I'll take Harvard Medical.. Duke University Medical Center, and John Hopkins over your "little personal" agenda. Bottom line for me is "I hate Stupid and either you are Stupid or the Devil".
Have you read them? Of course not.
I even sent you a video from a biologist explaining it to you, but you chose to be ignorant. The "life begins at conception" is not accepted in the scientific community. The DNAs don't even mix at the time of conception takes about 48h for that.
I’ve scrolled past this question multiple times for various reasons. I won’t go into all of them, but near the top of my list is the fact that my best advice in this scenario defies my personal commitment to honesty. Lie. Wait until after and then tell him it was a miscarriage. You’re going to hurt him, but you won’t destroy him and you won’t make yourself his nemesis. Fair warning, you’re not doing yourself a favor either. Unless there’s some dangerous medical necessity you’re not exposing, the procedure and the aftermath can be brutal. Unless you’re still eligible for pharmaceutical abortion, it’s NOT quick, easy or painless; physically or emotionally. I hope you reconsider, but if you don’t then talk to lots of professionals and people who’ve been through it to prepare yourself.
I would disagree about it destroying him and making yourself his nemesis. Even miscarriages are traumatic to the family. It is of course, considered the loss of a child. The death of a child is one of the most painful things imaginable. When someone is responsible for the loss of the child have you seen the reaction the agonizing parents go through? You do not ever want to face and be the focus of the rage of a grieving parent. Nemesis is an understatement.
The description clearly outlines his joyous reaction and those of his relatives and close friends. I have a child and I can tell you the fight just to see her against her mother's evil plots was overwhelmingly painful. I cannot fathom how great the pain this father will face.
She better brace for hell on earth. I dare say its highly probable she will have to move.
I am completely in agreement with your conviction of truth. Truth is a solid foundation to step and build on. Lies will grind and eat away like maggots in the brain.
Opinion
60Opinion
Hello, despite my account showing I'm 37 but I'm actually 17 and had never been on a relationship, on top I'm Muslim but I figured out it would be noisy and pointless to turn you how bad having sex outside marriage is. Let's see, you said your ex, so you broke up peacefully I presume since he accepted the little life on your belly with pure joy instead of something more complex. His parents and friends knows and he do sounds like he wants the whole world knows that he's going to be a father, he's proud of the child that have yet to take breath of oxygen from our mother earth. You want to abort it... Hmm~ sorry but I do think abortion is murder and unless the doctor warned the mother about almost-sure-to-be fatal danger on your life or future health though I can get you're afraid of pregnancy (Obviously for you and struggling mothers-to-be, it isn't simple as carrying a baby for a couple of months and popping what sounds like an 8 pounds watermelon from your neither regions or even lower half, understood) You were not even raped but was on a romantic relationship that you just recently ended with your ex who was more than happy to take your child in. I do apologize and feel guilty for what I'm gonna say, I can't think of you as a girl in distress but a monster who think little of a baby her growing baby that she takes as burden, no, I'm not the one giving birth so you can curse me. Personally, I'm confident I would love my future children no matter who's (are) their father (s) or what he (they) did. I can't push this on every woman and it distress me to hear of women choosing to kill their babies instead of giving them to adoption, in your case you has no excuse in my eyes, if I'm your friend I do take a step back from you once I knew you has those thoughts. Report me, if you want, for not giving answer to your question but you'll still regret abortion and what beautiful baby girl or boy you could've had once you grew older and mellower.
@Ali_roller - Why did you bother to tell him? You said elsewhere that you decided to focus on your careers so that means you were already considering an abortion...
I would be willing to bet you told him out of spite. You do after all say ex.
And if that is why you told him, knowing full well you were getting an abortion anyway, you are a nasty bitch.
And if spite is why you told him, knowing full well you were getting an abortion anyway, I know a bitch like you. She did the same thing to an old friend of mine. She was always a me-me-me-whatabout-me bitch and fouler than a rattlesnake.
Ooof, why'd you tell him?
Ultimately the decision is yours, but you're gonna do him a lot of harm because you've already raised his hopes.
If you don't want to give birth at all, that's fine. Get the abortion, deal with the fallout.
If you are ok with giving birth, but just don't want to raise the child, then talk to your ex about him becoming the sole legal guardian. You may need to agree to pay child support, and you'll need to hire a lawyer to draw up appropriate contracts and agreements.
But if you don't want it and he really does (which it sounds like because he told his whole family), then the kid stands a chance.
But if you think he's doing this as a chance to get back with you, fucking abort.
Also, use birth control next time, and don't fucking tell anyone before you make up your mind.
If you don't want it, why not have it and just sign over parental rights and responsibilities?
I mean I know the majority of women think fathers should have no rights to their own kids and the kids themselves have no rights either. Just murder for convenience and take no responsibilities like most women right?
Whether strangers online are supportive or not, it still makes you and the doctor a murdered and if you ever say anything about equality when it comes to rights it would make you a hypocrite.
This is one of the reasons being married or committed is far better before having sex.
Its way too clear the life of the child is in the balance in every case.
I had a guy at work said he would abort the child because of the life he imagined the child would have.
I asked him "Is your life all that you want it to be?" to which he quickly responded, no.
"Do you feel suicidal?" Again he said no
"How bad would your life need to be to consider it not worth living? And better yet would you seek help?"
"Ok your point is well made" He replied.
I would encourage you young lady to go seek help and options for this decision. There are unbiased places for this very thing. It will have undeniable emotional impact on you and others for the rest of all of your lives.
If you have the baby there is an amazing amount of support for you and s/he all along the way. If you don't you are quite literally killing your relationships.
Well if it's a ex then I see why your getting a abortion. Don't let him being excited stop you from doing it. If he wants a baby then he needs have one with another woman.
That is fucking selfish.
@Whatever2929292 that's the point. It's her body to be selfish with. Being selfish isn't always a bad thing especially when it comes to something like pregnancy
@Cubus because they don't have to live with being pregnant/giving birth and all the other changes that happen from having a baby. For the most part a man's life is pretty much 90,% unchanged. A woman's life has to completely change even with a abortion their life will be changed while a man can go about normally, maybe a little sad if they wanted a baby but that's it. I'd rather make a man a little sad then have to flip my life upside down for a unwanted baby. And I know this all to well cause I've lived it. My life completely changed while my husband's barely changed when I decided to keep our son.
@Cubus that's the thing the man already made his choice by cumming inside. y'all know your sperm is fertile all the time. For women it's difficult to tell when we are ovulating/birth control can fail too. We didn't have a choice while the man does. Even tho it takes two obviously just one is controlling the situation
You can only get pregnant on ovulation and 3-4 days before it (as sperm cells can live that long). And knowing that ovulation is +/- 14 days after starting the period it's not hard to guess when you can get pregnant. Besides you can feel when it's coming by changes in the body, change of mood etc. It's not a problem for someone who is responsible.
She made a child with someone Apple and... Oh well too inconvenient now can't be a responsible adult. She COULD have just given her child to her man
I mean yea she would at the least have to pay child support but
@Cubus exactly. I mean boo hooo hooo she might have to see her kids and pay some child support WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA...
A woman's cowardly easy way out is abortion. Men can't have them so they just run off. But men are shamed for that but women can have abortions and not be responsible adults
Most men have kids. It is a two person effort unless the man just has no part in his children's lives
@Whatever2929292 most men have kids that they barely even see. They either ditch them with the mom or at daycare all day long. Maybe will see them for a hour or so a night. They truly have no idea what it takes to raise them unless they are stay/work from home dads. Which are pretty rare
Yea apple... Which brings me to my point. Why is it bad for men to run off and never see their kids (which I agree is wrong) but a woman's cowardly and selfish way out is abortion...
Thanks for making my point
Women who kill their children are WORSE then men who run off and they are bad enough
This is your EX. WHy did you tell him in the first place if you were undecided about having the child?
This is extremely awkward and sad. Have the abortion and tell him later. You don't want a scene or drama over this. Your relationship is over anyway. This will likely be the final nail in the coffin between you. Good luck. Get a good therapist to talk to about this.
He's going to be angry and embarrassed. You have no idea of the familial repercussions or what family members will think about you having an abortion.
Do it and get it over with and give the news afterward. Everyone can be angry and disappointed, but you won't be pressured to keep a child you don't want. I'd suggest you not make premature announcements of any kind in the future. They're nothing but trouble. Good luck.
Don't.
Don't try telling him, it's your choice, and yours alone.
Telling him will only start all kinds of drama that will make it too many people business, all of which will think you should hear their thoughts on the matter.
Tell him you miscarried afterwards.
My Ex & girlfriend had abortions and only told me afterwards. I was VERY DEEPLY hurt. I wish that I could have at least been there for them both emotionally and/or financially. Instead they removed from the picture. I was CRUSHED. It was CLEAR that neither one valued me.
I suppose that is why we broke up and part of the reason I took years of therapy to recover. I lost something forever.
At a minimum, keep him involved.
It took two of you to do this. It should take two of you end It.
Discuss possibility of adoption. There are many couples who cannot have a child.
That’s the thing about pro-choicers. They never bring up the devastating psychological impact this can have on would be fathers.
I want to be clear that I AM Pro-Choice, but I think that women should involve and communicate with their men in this momentous decision. I would have been sad, but would have supported my women. We are 50% responsible; we should have some involvement.
Have the Abortion Don’t Bring someone into this world Against there will. Life is a Evil thing
Rapist Murderers Getting beat up being Homeless drugs heart attacks getting hit by a car having a Stroke dementia Schizophrenia
Depression Anxiety Guilt Remorse
Deep sadness
Suicide
A Never ending Struggle of Sadness that never ends
Don’t put someone into this world please there’s so much bad shit in this world and if I had the chance to Prevent Me from being born on this earth I would do it by any means Necessary
But you will have to check if Your State Allows Abortion if it doesn’t you may be able to Travel To a state Or country that does abortions and is not illegal
Check with an Attorney
Because if your state has banned Abortions going somewhere that does Abortions and it’s not illegal would be an Option.
Get a Passport you may have to Travel a far distance for it to be legal.
But consult an attorney and be like my state says Abortion is illegal in my state but If I Travel somewhere that has Abortions and it is not illegal there can I do that
And if your attorney says yes you can then get on a Train or a Plane or drive there and get the Abortion at the place that it is Legal at
Good Luck on your journey
Safe Travels
I live in Washington so it’s not illegal where I live thank god
Is it possible to deliver the baby and then have him take full custody? It will be a few more months of inconvenience. But after the baby is delivered it will be completely off your hands.
No one can force you to keep or abort the baby. But I can promise you with absolute certainty that your decision will impact him for the rest of his life.
Anyway do not know how much time you have left. But do NOT let anyone rush you through this. Really think through this decision. Get professional advice from someone impartial if possible.
I’m seeing a lot of asshole responses to your question. Yes I am pro life but that doesn’t mean I am okay about how some of these guys are responding to you.
I also saw your response that you don’t love your ex but care for him. Let’s imagine that (everything else in this scenario is the same) that you did love him but didn’t want to be a mother. Would that influence your decision? Think carefully on that one. Very carefully.
Yeah the family can adopt it. Especially if their Catholics, you won’t be on their good side anymore if you follow through
@On_cloud_wine her child will be extremely grateful one day when they understand she gave them a chance to live.
also want to say her decision with impact HER for the rest of her life. The future doesn’t seem real right now (especially at 19). But this will always be on the back of her mind. Both decisions have consequences but one means that 20 years from now she will have a son that’s her age. Going through life just like her.
I strongly urge you not to murder this child. There are countless resources available to help you for free with whatever you need including obtaining baby supplies, mental and physical health services, housing etc.
Look up: Abby Johnson Ministries
If you contact her they can set you up with whatever you need to take care of your little one. Please don't harm the child.
Shrugs it's your ex. If you were still with him maybe there would be more talk needed. But he's your ex there is no need for his opinion just do it. If he gets upset over it, just say your not having a baby that isn't gonna be brought up by my partner. Not that you even need to justify cause again Ex.
Also if you give it to him, he will just make you pay for childcare so nope lol.
There are options.
Is it that you don't want to carry it to term whatsoever?
If you would be, are you willing to give up custody and all rights to him if he wants that?
Could you find a family that wants to adopt the baby if you're will to carry it to term?
If no to those, then you have two options.
You tell him the truth and take your chances that he doesn't start legal action agains you if he really wants the child, or
you lie to him. You get the abortion and tell him you miscarried.
Honestly talk to your people be it friends or family some that like him and some that don’t. It is your body it is your choice but DO NOT expect anything from him if you go through with this don’t expect his support, agreement, hatred, or anything. Things will never be the same with or without the baby just know your options and the consequences please choose wisely as your mind and body will take a toll either way you go.
Well I can't even answer this question I don't have a clue I can tell you this you're going to have some angry upset people with you this is something that I'm glad I never have gotten myself into just for my own knowledge and learning experience I would love to know how you're going to go about it and what happens please let me know if that's okay by you
Don't listen to people on here. It is your body, you can do whatever you want.
Thank you that means a lot 🥲❤️ and don’t worry I’m not or at least the ones who say I should go to prison and I’m going to get karma like really?🥹
Omg shut up already I told you I used bc and it didn’t work and I can’t afford a baby right now and and need to focus on my career right now , and I’m not using the clump cells excuse anywhere at all so don’t even start with that bs.
You know not having sex is 💯 affective in preventing pregnancy..
Abortion was never meant to be used as a form of birth control
I never said not having sex isn’t 100% and even then that’s not gonna stop me 🥰 and I also never said abortion was used as a bc so keep lying with this bs, like literally all I wanted was to know how to tell my ex I’m getting one and your over here a 49 year old arguing with a 19 year old by making stuff up to make me look like a pos when in reality I just want to have a life and be free for a couple more years. 😇
Deleting my reply🤣 yeah okay
If you knew you didn't want this pregnancy, why wait 4 months to make that decision?
Omfg I deleted it because I’m done talking with you and unlike you I’m actually mature and the last thing I need right now is more reply’s and text from you because I don’t feel like arguing with you anymore about this, and I didn’t wait till I was 4 months I didn’t even know till a couple weeks because I’m super tiny so I didn’t even notice I was pregnant.
You didn't notice for four months no period? Or boobs getting tender/swelling? Or the other body changes? And at four months, it's not abortion, it's murder of a child that at four months could survive outside the womb, but go ahead and delete.. Can't delete the consequences of your actions though, can you
@Brainsbeforebeauty I agree with you. Abortion isn't an option for not using protection. It should be used in extreme cases like rape. I'm not happy with abortion overall but aborting a baby with a beating heart, it's murder. It wasn't formed for this day.
Its my fist i can beat you with it lol
She is a disgusting degenerate piece of shit who made a child with someone and now... Just wants to kill it. She will live with this regret the rest of her life and I hope she does! I also hope the other family hates her and shares what she did and she never finds a decent relationship ever ever EVER
(which I doubt she has had)
Sorry you're a bum. You could have given the child to your guy... Did you know that? No you're a idiot.
@Whatever2929292 Yeah this is a good idea. She could give her child to her EX.
@Apulu_Imback I don't think she is very smart. These kinds of people kill their babies not being responsible adults and don't even feel bad about it.
I mean some feel bad and they repent and God forgives them but some people... Just never do they have a reprobate and if you seen the crazies at abortion rallies... You will see what I am talking about
@Whatever2929292 I don't know if she changed her mind after reading your reply. You actually gave a really good idea.
@Apulu_Imback we dont need a degen with her genes in this world though. Im sorry but its not like einstein is being snuffed out. At least we can have peace in that.
@RandomGuy1030 It's not important that her kids will be like her at the end.
Have you tried giving him the baby instead. I mean don't upset him and his family. See if they'll (him and his family) adopt the baby. They're excited about this and if this happens they'll be extremely grieving about this.
She's too fucking stupid
I'm legally pro-choice, but if you've already decided to terminate the pregnancy, I don't understand why you bothered to tell your ex-boyfriend if he's your ex, other than the opportunity to be spiteful towards him. I also don't understand why you didn't make the decision sooner. Four months is 17½ weeks. It shouldn't take a normal person under normal circumstances 17½ weeks to make a decision.
Sometimes women don't realize they're pregnant or are in denial until later in the pregnancy. Maybe she's put off having the abortion because SHE was considering having the baby. Now that everybody knows and is all excited about it, she's decided she's NOT.
Most likely it took her that long to think through the ramifications of having a child with a man she was no longer involved with, being involved with his family forever etc. etc... I'd rather she'd be SURE. Don't you? No. Her timing is not ideal. But perhaps she was all excited about the EXCITEMENT and being the center of attention and "OH A BABY!"
You can get swept up in the glow. This is a girl of 19. I can understand how this happens. It took her this long. She's convinced it's the right thing to do. Let's not denigrate her for waiting. Luckily, she's in a state where abortion is available. Even AFTER she does this, she will need a lot of support because NO ONE will be glad she's doing this, and likely EVERYONE WILL BE ANGRY. She needs emotional support.
@Screenwriter This is an online opinion forum. Sometimes I give answers laced with humor and sarcasm, sometimes they're just straight-up serious answers. Either way, I don't blow sunshine up peoples' asses and just give them the answers they want to hear (or in this case, read). Coddling is the last thing she needs.
With that stated, we'll agree to disagree. I stand by my point that it doesn't take a normal person in a normal situation 17½ weeks to make a decision, 19 years old or not 19 years old. The ability to choose and make a decision doesn't mean "the ability to be (and *want* to be) pregnant until I change my mind". Abortion is not birth control, and that's not pro-choice... that's pro-abortion.
I also stand my my other point. She gave no indication in her question that she ever had any intention whatsoever of having her baby. So there was NO reason for her to tell her EX-boyfriend (not current boyfriend) that she was pregnant, other than spite. Just because someone is 19 doesn't mean that they don't possess the ability to be manipulative and spiteful.
You truthfully think her intention was to be spiteful and she told her boyfriend so she could THEN have an abortion to HURT him? WHEW! That is dark stuff. And my mind never went there.
I'm just quoting statistics and information I've read over the years as a Planned Parenthood sex education volunteer. There are women who didn't know they were pregnant until they were delivering their babies in a bathroom at work or at home. They might've gained 5 or 7 pounds during the pregnancy. Maybe they had breakthrough bleeding during their pregnancy and this masked itself as their period. They had no other pregnancy "symptoms."
Some people are unaware and others ignore reasonable symptoms. She didn't SAY when she knew she was pregnant. Most women know sometime after a missed period which could be as early as 4 weeks, but others wait until a second missed period to take a pregnancy test, get a positive, THEN see a doctor for absolute confirmation. But, many women have IRREGULAR PERIODS and often miss periods during a calendar year. Stress causes menstrual periods to skip, as well as weight loss, sickness.
Women often LOSE weight the first few months of their pregnancies due to nausea. But there are many reasons for nausea that don't include pregnancy. A woman could choose those reasons over pregnancy.
This woman says this man is her former partner. Maybe they only had sex one time and THAT was the official end of the relationship, so they both put a one and done out of their minds.
So, don't think this is 17 weeks of knowledge. Few women know immediately that they're pregnant and pregnancy tests often don't work before a first missed period. So not knowing for at least a month is completely normal.
Men, who don't have periods and can't get pregnant have no idea how complicated it can be to KNOW you're pregnant. And women often don't want to realize their pregnant.
I err on the side of caution about motives for telling someone you are pregnant. Most men don't want and don't celebrate the idea of an impending child. She might've held the information back for any number of reasons. Then told him to a surprize of excitement from him and be sweeped up in that excitement, only to come down to earth a few weeks later after considering the reality and repercussions of this pregnancy and baby to her life.
I think this often takes time. I personally had to wait until 9 weeks to take a chrionic villi sampling test to discover if there were abnormalities due to my age at the start of pregnancy. My husband knew I was pregnant when I did... immediately. But I was older and quite aware of my body and its workings. I couldn't say that when I was 19.
I'm not going to assume evil underpinnings in someone's actions unless they indicate there are some. But at 19 I was in no mental or financial situation to become a parent. I was in college. I didn't have a job. I had plans for my future and none of them included childbearing.
Abortion IS birth control. It terminates a pregnancy. Just like Plan B does.
The pill is an abortifacient because it prevents implantation of a fertilized egg by keeping the lining of the uterus inhospitible to implantation. The IUD also is also an abortifacient. It prevents implantation of fertilized eggs. It doesn't prevent eggs from becoming fertilized.
However MOST fertilized eggs are dispensed with by the human body because of one flaw or another in the blastocyst. Miscarriages are the human body's abortion plan. Again, something wasn't right with the blastocyst, embryp. or fetus Most women have miscarriages so early in pregnancy, they never know they were pregnant.
So, please don't be holier than though about WHEN a woman decides. Or suspicious about a woman's reasons for telling a man she's pregnant. I don't think the majority of women would tell a man just to ruin his hopes for a future with his child. There are so many factors that cause delay. So many.
@Screenwriter No one says she has to be involved with him OR his family. Technically he has no legal rights to the child if he's not married to her.
@Jamie05rhs He has no rights to the child before it's born and here. That's just the way it works out. It would be great if infants could be bred like in The Matrix, in a "fish tank." Then someone could take responsibility for the person to be. It would certainly make it clearer where the responsibility would fall. People would sign over rights and someone, the state, a private agency, or one or the other parent would take up the job.
But that IS science fiction.
@Screenwriter I'm sure that technology will be here soon enough!
@Screenwriter I'm not in the business of making excuses for people. We coddle teenagers and people in their 20s and then wonder why we have so many 30 year old adult babies running around.
If your intention is to never be pregnant, you use condoms and birth control combined (99.99% effective together), and take the Plan B pill immediately afterwards if you still have any doubts. Even if you don't know right away, it almost never takes 17½ weeks to figure it out. You're simply making excuses for people to not be accountable for their actions.
Also and again, it wasn't her boyfriend. It was her EX-BOYFRIEND. If the mantra is indeed "my body, my choice", then there was no legitimate reason for her to tell him anything other than spite.
Furthermore, even though I'm legally pro-choice, the last place I'm going to look for legitimate health and pregnancy information and statistics is Planned Parenthood. They advocate for unfettered late-term and third trimester abortions. So of course they're going to put out excuses in the guise of legitimate medical information to further support their agenda. That's not pro-choice. That's pro-abortion.
Planned Parenthood is a women's general and gynecological health care clinic. Though they give birth control advice for all methods, they don't perform abortions. If a woman wants to make that choice, she is referred to an abortion provider If she wants to keep her baby, Planned Parenthood will assist a woman in support services of ALL kinds because that IS a choice too.
No one is PRO abortion. It's a last ditch path when all else has failed for the hosts of reasons people don't realize they're pregnant and have trouble deciding what they need to do. If it's a harsh choice, maybe women wait until they can't wait any more to feel forced to choose.
Since I've never had one, I don't know why. But I suspect most women don't talk to counselors to help them plan the best choice for themselves and most of all, schools don't teach about safe sex, and sex education, which Planned Parenthood was heavily involved in. There has long been the idea that ignorance will mean children won't experiment with sex, when the opposite is what happens. And when people are ignorant, they don't take precautions because their sex is unplanned. The whole point is to PLAN and to prevent. But birth control also fails and then last-ditch methods come into play.
Pro choice means have access to ALL choices to prevent or end a pregnancy. Abortion is one of those choices.
@Screenwriter Planned Parenthood most definitely DOES perform abortions!
With respect, ma'am... what kind of drugs are you on?
From their website:
"We offer services in:
Abortion Referral
Abortion Pill (Medical Abortion)
In-clinic Abortion Procedures
Sedation Options
Post-Abortion Follow-Up Exams
Other Abortion Services"
And you work for them? And you're claiming to not know that? I mean, even as a volunteer...
I'm sorry, but I would fire you if I were them.
(@Screenwriter I like you personally. I don't mean to tear you a new one like this. I really don't. I feel bad.
I'm just honestly embarrassed on your behalf.
This level of ignorance is just sad.)
@Screenwriter I'll play Devil's Advocate. If Planned Parenthood doesn't perform any abortions, then why did so many of them close their doors immediately after Roe Verses Wade was overturned? They're a women's health clinic, right? There are many other medical services available to women, right? Why not remain open to provide those services, like breast cancer screening as an example? Please don't try to use "funding" as an excuse, because they're federally funded and also receive millions in political and private donations.
This is why it's so difficult being someone who's logically and reasonably and legally pro-choice like myself. There's a portion of the population who believes that non-emergency third trimester abortions should be allowed on a whim. It's utterly nonsensical and ridiculous. Europe is considered liberal and progressive and pro-choice. Just about every country in Europe has pro-choice laws in place, and none of them have their decision demarcation set beyond 14 weeks. Meanwhile we have states in this country set at 20 weeks and 24 weeks, and there are people who still aren't satisfied. Again, that's not pro-choice. That's pro-abortion.
A national pro-choice bill, just like the pro-choice law in European countries, set around 14 or 16 weeks, would pass the House, would pass the Senate, and President Biden would sign it into law. It could've even been done back in 2009 or 2010. The Democrats don't even try, because unhinged liberals are never satisfied and want more.
@Jamie05rhs I do NOT work for PP. I was a volunteer who did high school sex education talks. We focused on safe sex and how to NOT get pregnant. We were not instructed to discuss abortion services AT ALL!!! If someone asked me about such information, I was instructed to tell the student to call Planned Parenthood for a consultation.
@Jamie05rhs Where I live THEY DO NOT! I was a volunteer and never worked for them. I lectured on sex education to high schoolers. Never on abortion. If a student needed that info, they were instructed to call PP for information. LA has never been a state that supports abortion choice. It appears there are clinics that perform abortion services in other states. I know what is available in my state. I'm not on any drugs. I'm giving you my knowledge of local access. If you want an abortion here, you are referred to providers and there's a 3-day waiting period, I believe.
Well, you should have specified that you were speaking about your particular location.
Because what you wrote was,
"Planned Parenthood is a women's general and gynecological health care clinic. Though they give birth control advice for all methods, they don't perform abortions."
@Jamie05rhs I told you what I knew. I don't know everything. and I made a mistake based on my knowledge of my local PP. I only have experience of my local PP and didn't know it's different elsewhere. Plus, abortion service knowledge was never part of what I did. I stand corrected.
However, why any PP clinic would shut down because it couldn't provide abortion services, when the clinics provide general medical care for women on a sliding scale, and I was a patron for years, makes no sense to me. I don't think there are PP clinics whose ONLY job is abortion services. This has never been PP's sole mission.
It's main mission is family planning through birth control services and health care for women. Abortion is only a small part of those services.
You tell him the full truth! You have made a unilateral decision to murder his child! Now be prepared to be hated by him and his family for the rest of your natural life. I understand it is your body! I don't need to be reminded of that. It takes 2 people to make a baby. To just murder the child with no input from the father makes it much worse. This is the last comment I will make on this subject! Understand I am not pro-life or pro-choice when it comes to this subject!
What if he didn't wanted a child, but you wanted that child. Would you still go for the abortion? I get is your body, but that child (or future child) doesn't have the 100% of your genes. If you think your ex is gonna be a good father, why not give him the opportunity to be a father? If he's a scumbag, I get why you rather abort—in part.
Oh PLEASE dont get an abortion!!! If the dad wants him then PLEASE give the baby to him!! You womt even have to have anythimg to do with the baby after its born if you dont want to but I'm beggimg you to reconcider. I've seen this same situation before and you have no idea how much you will simply kill that man. PLEASE
I support you decision fellow women but maybe if you don’t want the baby give the child to him to raise and go on? Just bc he’s excited to be a father and will clearly take care of the baby. However your choice is your choice and that I will support!
If both the father and his family are too excited for the baby, I don’t think any better not to have this baby even it’s her family problem because they could talk to each other at all. You are definitely a murderer. If you think it’s free choice, that is something you just made for your irresponsibility for your action and your kid. If you don’t want a baby, next time wear a fucking condom or tell your boyfriend you don’t want a baby before going to your bed.
immature and game playing… hope not true… only the baby is the victim
In my opinion don't do it
Because that is his child as well as ur child have him be there for the birth and then if u don't want the child hand it over to him
It so wrong to consider an abortion in my opinion.
Get an abortion, tell him you miscarried. Why risk a horrible reaction? It's your body, your choice, and your privacy.
You don't have one. It takes two to make a child and he has a right to the child. I think you're disgusting and selfish and you need to repent. You have killed your child out of your selfishness.
Like this...
"Hey, I've made up my mind to not have the kid." It's gonna feel like a railroad nail coming out of his heart but it's your choice. And he should have kept his mouth shut and not tell the family.
If you were dead set on getting an abortion, you should have voiced your concerns BEFORE telling him about the pregnancy, not after.
It doesn't matter HOW you tell him, I'll be surprised if he stays with you after that anyway.
I just woke up and didn't read the part about him being your ex.. apologies for that...
Maybe you could have the baby and let him and his family raise the child.
Great example of why everyone, including men, should practice abstinence beforehand marriage. Sucks that he's going to have his baby murdered.
Amen to that
And in those days the women shall become pregnant
and abort their babies
And cast them out from their midst
Yea, they shall abandon their children (that are still) sucklings,
and not return to them,
And shall have no pity on their beloved ones.
(1 Enoch 99:5)
and those women shall be sent to the snake of outer darkness
they shall circle the earth and receive no mercy
fire shall consume them
You young woman are the problem. Why even bother telling if your killing that baby. How about giving the baby up for adoption to a woman that's actually struggling and trying to get pregnant. Get into a close adoption!
Oh exactly and knowing he is so excited she could just give him custody.
If your ex is super excited why not give the baby to him? I know at the end of the day your going to do whatever you want
I actually asked him that before but he just ignored the question and changed the topic.
Honestly me too but he always ignores my offers of everything and anything like just in general talking/calling or even hanging out since he said we’re friends but now that we’re having a son that’s when we’re hanging out and texting everyday but yeah he ignored it lol 🥹
@Ali_roller how old is he?
So why the fuck does she even ask the question? If she does not hear what she wants to hear she is going to get all mad
Hello, i just signed up on this website to add my opinion to this question of yours.
Please do not engage in such a cruel act, the baby has a life, heartbeat and a soul. They'll just experience as much pain as an adult would. Give the baby a chance to be born in such a beautiful country and see the sun and the moon. :)
That's the thing. You can't tell someone that you're going to kill one of their family members and expect them to be happy about it and not hate you for it.
Exactly!!! I hope she gets what she has coming
I wish there was a button to transport the baby from his tummy to yours since he wants it and you dont. Thats sad
*from your tummy to his
So you decided for him that at the late stages so late you know the sex and you have to have a partial birth abortion at 19! Says a whole lot about you!
Fuck you're just 19 go do abortion asap...
You have life to live.
And that’s why I’m doing it because Ik me and my ex need to focus more on our career right now but he already told all his family and friends and is super happy to have a son and like I said I’m getting a abortion I just need to ofc tell him but I don't know how without him being upset with me.
Okay and you’re right 😊 and thank you for giving a opinion and I hope you have a great rest of your day/night Sam.
You too 🥰
Agree with this 100%!
You should talk to your Parents about it and see what they think about, It is a very Difficult Decision so try and take everything into account before you decide because your going to have to live with that decision for the rest of your life.
Maybe you will change your mind, let your ex have custody?
This is one of the reasons why abortion rights are being curtailed. 70% may be pro-choice, but it was supposed to be safe, legal and rare but you’ve turned it into a weapon to exact revenge on your exes.
How is this revenge?
That sucks how the guy has no choice or say in the matter when it involves his child.
It's the woman's body and he's an ex.
So being the ex means what exactly? Its his child no matter what the relationship status is between them.
@Apple1996 I respectfully disagree. It falls on both people unless she was raped. It doesn't sound like she was forced to have sex against her will. Both people have a responsibility when it comes to having sex and what the consequences of that are.
@Apple1996 But they haven't even had the conversation yet so how is he forcing her to do anything? She has already made up her mind So him being happy to be a father is forcing her against her will. How dare he be excited to be a father.
@Apple1996 All Im saying is that they should have a conversation about it before her deciding on behalf of both people involved.
@Apple1996 Except if the woman decides to keep the baby then it involves both?
@Apple1996 But he seems excited to be a father and wants to be in his sons life.
Like tbh this question seems a little bit like trolling. Might be true tho but still even in a made up scenario a guy like that is complete trash for being excited for a pregancy especially with a ex. I've dealt with the same thing when I got pregnant. Guys are always more excited since they don't have to completely change their life around when they have a baby.
@Apple1996 I can only go off of what the person put in her post so Im not going to assume why they broke up. All I want is for them to talk about it and if she decides to have an abortion afterwards then she can do as she pleases.
Tell him you don't want the kid. If he insists on it, tell him to take full responsibility for it.
I think you should have it and let him raise it. Why kill a baby when it is wanted by its father and his family.
It is your choice, but I ask that you please reconsider having the baby. :(
Just get one and if he asks just say it was a false alarm, and there never was a baby.
Just let him know that you don't think that this child of his deserves a chance. Maybe his next one will have better luck.
Simple. You tell him you're breaking up, and so is everything else in the relationship.
Don't do it behind his back. He will be grievous forever.
Tell him you know the gender of the baby already give him a wrapped box like a present (for a gender reveal) except just put a wire coat hanger in it. If he doesn't get that he doesn't deserve to know. 🤣
Meet him face to face and tell him. Be truthful, be direct.
Welcome to GAG. And welcome to being called out on your troll question.
And what if this is a true story? Is a response like that helping her situation?
@globetrotter22: If somehow this is a true question, GAG ain't the the place to ask.
She will have to live with her decision for the rest of her life. If her ex is more than willing to be a father, she can sign her rights away. This is a classic case of making a poor decision based on being selfish, self centered, and downright immoral on so many levels.
Again, if this somehow is real, this woman will be haunted by this decision for the rest of her life, as it should. Killing a human being comes with consequences. And if she follows through with it, she deserves every one of them. She is already damaged goods.
stuff like this is why Roe v Wade and Casey v Planned Parenthood got overturned recently. peoples lack of using protection when their not ready to become parents yet causes the majority of abortions.
You don't need to believe in karma to experience it.
Bruh like I said to the other dude I didn’t know he was gonna be happy or thrilled since he’s my ex and if I knew he was I wouldn’t have told him in the first place ☺️
How old is the sperm? Maybe it's worth giving birth?
I’m 4 months and as much as I do want to keep him as well I’m 19! And right now I need/want to focus on my career right now since Ik it’s for the better for the both of me and my ex.
Your obviously not having his baby. You are ending it. No way to sugar coat that.
I think she’s still considering this but won’t outright admit it. Sure it’s “social acceptable” and encouraged to have an abortion among her peers and generation. But a part of her is still struggling with it. If she wasn’t struggling she would of done it already.
She also already said straight out she doesn’t love her ex. When women fall out of love with men they usually could care less about hurting them. I think this is more about her grappling with a decision she know she will later regret.
tell him you had a miscarriage I am sure he won't be excited when he had to pay child support
There's no easy way to tell him. You just have to go for it. Be firm. Tell him you understand if he feels upset, but you aren't going to change your mind.
It's possible to have the child and give it to your ex if you don't want to raise it, and he does.
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