Pregnant with ex’s baby. Should I tell him?

Question

I broke up with him but now I’m pregnant. Should I not tell him? I don’t want him in my life

Qdbrown · Accepted Answer

These can get messy. If your Ex finds out, he can push for his rights. If young, he will likely not be too involved, but anything can happen. Some people can get funny when placed in these situations. He might even be for abortion. Who knows?

You can carry to term, and adopt, but you would be surprised how many women opt to keep the kids once delivered. If you decide to keep, how will you raise? Will the kid have a good home, or treated more like an accessory for your next life decisions and romantic entanglements? Are you prepared to come off the dating market for years to come to be there for your kid, or does he have to raise herself while you try to find a mate as a single mother, which is becoming very unpopular with men, as it should be. Moms should be mom's first. Are you really ready to make that decision?

If you do carry and keep, expect your Ex in your life for the next 20 years. This is just the way it is. And at somepoint expect for him to want to become a more dedicated father. This will put stress on any hopeful future relationships, as most new prospects will not be comfortable with dad coming in or around to see his kid. There will also be court dates and child support. There will be last minute cancellations of anything for a sick kid or anything that child will need in the next 20 years. Including keeping your job in a place to be open to be a mom. It's nearly impossible to be an a good mom and star employee. Something has to give. If anyone tells you that you have it all is lying. Kids always lose when mom thinks she can still live an exciting life of big careers and romance. She thinks she empowered, while the kid sits idly in her room with tablet waiting for you to have all the time she will want to spend, and most kids don't make those kinds of demands.

Choice is yours.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

I am sickened by all the people saying to get an abortion. Truly disturbing

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Why don’t you want him in your life? Is he dangerous, abusive etc? Than yes if you already know you have to protect your child from their father than it might be a good idea not to tell him.

However if the guy is a good nice guy well I am sorry but you have to tell him. YOU don’t want him in your life, but what about your child? Don’t they deserve the right to know and love their father? You are becoming a mom now. Think about your baby’s needs. The baby is not YOUR child. The baby is BOTH of yours. You made them together.

To quote judge Judy: ‘fathers are not second class citizens’.

tatianamay · Accepted Answer

Do not make the mistake of not telling him. Please please tell him. He could go to court and push his rights and you may lose your baby to him in the process. Tell him that you’re pregnant with his child and if he wants to get involved, then he has every right since he’s the father of the baby, then if he doesn’t, you’re lucky. This must be very hard on you, and I’m really sorry, but hey, I’m sure you’re gonna be a wonderful mom. Your child is gonna be the most blessed baby in the world because I’m sure you’re gonna be a lovely mom to your child ❤️

OlderAndWiser · Answer

He has a right to know that he is going to be a father and he has a right to fully participate in the life of your child. You need to get accustomed to seeing him.

worldscolide · Answer

Regardless of weather or not you want him in your life, he has a right to know, and has a right to be the father to that child. He does not have to be part of your, but denying him the chance to do the right thing, and be a father to that child is just plain wrong.. And the pink anon bitches can down vote me all they like, it does not change that legally as well as morally he has a right to be the father.. The only way i would change my opinion here is if he is dangerous or abusive.

If you choose not to tell him, he can eventually find out, push for paternity, and potentially take the child from you. Additionally, If you EVER try to get state assistance, you are REQUIRED to list a father, they will DNA test who ever you list, and then he will have the chance to exorcise his rights as a father. So Not telling him is not only morally wrong, eventually its legally wrong.

Anonymous · Answer

He has the right to know, but you can still keep him out of your life for the most part. But don't think selfishly. Think of the child and having a father (despite you not wanting him in your life, he should be included in your child's life assuming he is a decent person and will be a positive thing in their life). Also, like him or not, he is the father and has a right to know. Think if it was reversed. Let's say (guys could get pregnant) and he was having the baby and didn't tell you, how would you feel about that? And his reason for it was because he didn't want you in his life.

abc3643 · Answer

Get an abortion.
If you keep the baby, you SHOULD tell him. I don't know if you are legally obligated to do so. That said, I will simply say that, even if you don't tell him but he lives in your metro area, then he will find out "Through the grapevine."... it always happens.

iseekpinetrees · Answer

Well why did you break up? Was he beating you threatening your life? Because those are the type of guys who you probably shouldn't tell your pregnant. Now if u had a normal relationship and just ended up not working out then yes by all means tell him. It doesn't mean he has to be in your life that much. Some people recognize that they are not needed and don't parent a child.

Anonymous · Answer

Mom was pregnant with me when her and dad broke up. But her friend told her to tell Dad, He had a right to know. She relented and he flew like a bird to be with Mom and they then decided to get married. They had two other girls after this and even with all of their problems, They stayed together until both had sadly passed on from illness. I just buried Dad's ashes next to Mom. Tell him. He is the father. See what happens. Good Luck.

Anonymous · Answer

1) When did you break up & when did you find out your pregnant. For all we know it's the baby of guy B, C or D.

2) Why not. If you have no good reason not to then get an abortion and stop bothering everyone.

3) For all we know he doesn't want you in his life either sweetie.

Floppy2112 · Answer

He's the father, you have to tell him. He has a right to know. And if he finds out later he can claim rights. It's better you tell him. And make better decisions. You're the one with the womb, you need to protect it like it's fort knox. Sure a guy should be a gentleman and use protection, but you ultimately decides whether or not he gains entry.

loveslongnails · Answer

This is a big decision and it has legal ramifications, depending on the laws where you live. There's economics to consider, but it sounds like you don't want him in your life or the child's at all. If he's truly a dirt bag, it's a tough call. Is he going to find out anyway?

bigmarty36 · Answer

The relationship ended for whatever reason doesn't matter the fact is now there is a child , he should know because if you don't tell him you will always wonder what might of happen. Tell him and if he disappears or wants nothing to do with his child count your blessings you got away from this lowlife, give him the chance to be involved either way you will know what kind of man he is. Only a scumbag would leave his child in my book.

Anonymous · Answer

Please, get an abortion.
Get it out before you become attached.
And people who are going to come after me, well, women abort every month. Sure, it's not a fetus but if OP aborts while it still hasn't become a fetus then there's not much difference between periods and that.

A child needs both of his parents throughout his life to consistently protect and nourish him. You can't do it alone, the child needs his father. And obviously, he won't be a good father else you wouldn't be writing this post. Make a child with a responsible man and have a child when you act responsibly.

Drooogie4 · Answer

If you don't want him in your life, the best option is to get an abortion and go on with your life. IF you have his kid, he will definitely be involved in your life for quite some time.

blank_expression · Answer

Nah, just find a replacement of preferably the same race and blame it on him. That is the independent woman way.

hahahmm · Answer

Of course. The time to decide if he was father material was before you let yourself get pregnant by him. It's too late now. He is also a parent to the child and has a right to know.

DJB72 · Answer

If you plan to keep the baby then you should let him know, but that doesn't obligate you to have a relationship with him.

rosemilk · Answer

Yes. Just because you don't want him in your life doesn't mean this child can't have him in their life 🌸

pleasestopthis · Answer

I think you should tell him, it's his child too. He should at least get the chance to be part of his kid's life.
That way you won't have regrets when your child ask about his dad, that you at least didn't close the door for him.

Anonymous · Answer

He is the father. He needs to know. It's better he hears it from you than him hearing it from a third party. You don't have to be romantically involved with him. Do you think he would be a good father?

TheBigGuy9 · Answer

You have to tell him. He has a right to know. That’s a consequence of having sex without condoms. Those 20 minutes of feeling good is now at least 18 years of dealing with your ex.

OddBeMe · Answer

Ehh, I’m for women’s body women’s choice. But I’d say morally, if you decide to keep the thing I’d tell him. Courts can adjudicate parental rights, if he even wants them.

blondfrog · Answer

Sounds like you need to go on the jerry springer show.

WhiteWolf69 · Answer

The right thing to do is tell him. It's not a matter of how you feel about him it's about the responsibility to the baby and to him to let him know he's going to be a father.

dudeinohio · Answer

Well, you need to tell him... he'll find out anyway after you hit him for child support.

drexel420 · Answer

Omg idc if you want him in your life yes you should tell him not your choice anymore what if he wants to at least support his child

Anonymous · Answer

Unless you get a abortion you'll have to tell him at some point.

Дерйа · Answer

First of all, there's something called abortion.

SimpDotOrg · Answer

If you keep the baby, he should know he has a kid

FunkyMonkee · Answer

There's always abortion.

gloreria18 · Answer

No dont tell him🤦🏾‍♀️😐

Anonymous · Answer

Bitch wtf 🤨 that’s his baby too

lpoots · Answer

noooooooooooooooo its your choice

Agape93 · Answer

Nah don’t tell him

DavidDong · Answer

Yes, duh

TheFlak38 · Answer

slut alert.

Wise4myage · Answer

Yes, obviously.

Iron_Man · Answer

Yes of course

NightHawk99 · Answer

No. Move on.

jimmy2 · Answer

Ohhh baby i hear you

Anonymous · Answer

That sucks

Pregnant with ex’s baby. Should I tell him?

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