Pregnant with my ex boyfriend's baby?

[Anonymous]

So, we split up about 4 months ago now. It was my fault and I did push the guy to breaking point. We never spoke or even looked at each other until just a few weeks back. We have even started talking and flirting a little again.

Anyway, past few months my period hadn't came (sometimes it doesn't come due to the contraceptive shot I get) so I thought nothing of it. Although I had been feeling nauseous and a bit hormonal recently.

Lately, I've been sporting a very small bump... and had a little bit of morning sickness. So I decided to take a test to be safe. Sure enough, it tells me I'm pregnant. Roughly 15-16 weeks.

My ex was all about having kids with me when we were together and he did really want me to be the mother of his kids. I'm not sure how he'll react when I tell him and I'm absolutely terrified at the thought of having this baby. What should I do?

Updates

+1 y

Please answer away guys/girls! Time really is of the essence here and I kinda want to tell him before my belly ends up doing that for me :/

[Cam3434]

Be honest and straightforward. Ask him if he wants this baby and if he's going to be there and help raise it. Bring al the options forward. Abortion, adoption, or raising the child together. See where he stands, and go from there. It can be quiet scary, I was in the same situation myself when I was 17. Talked to him and he wanted me to keep the baby, I did and we were together for 5 years till we split early this year. Love my son to death. Either way it's your decision if you want a apportion and I nor anyone else shouldn't judge you for what you think is right in your life. Bringing in a child is a lot of hard work and responsibility because you got to put your child first beofre you. All in all good luck, and I believe things do happen for a reason

[Asker]

I know you're saying about bringing the options forward to him? But I've already made up my mind, I want to keep this baby... whether he'll be by my side or not. I do think he'll want to keep it anyway and he'll want to be a part of the baby's life I'm sure. But it's the getting him to meet with me that's the problem. He'll flirt and so on via text, but he has completely (or seems to) have separated emotions what we had. I ran into him in person 3 weeks ago before I knew I was pregnant, and he jokingly lifted my little sister up and spun her around. I went to touch his arm and try to jokingly life him and he recoiled a bit/seemed really uncomfortable at the thought of me touching him. It kinda hurt a bit :/. I'm scared he reacts in a similar fashion.

[Cam3434]

Ask him how he feels about you. Being open and honest about everything so you get peace of mind in the matter and know where he stands. I know tho how you feel about being open and honest it's hard bc you don't want to put your feelings and heart on the line and feel like a fool when he don't feel the same. But it's better that way than da icing around the truth

[Asker]

But when I go along these lines, he clams up on me. Or doesn't give me a direct answer. I asked if he cared about me and he said 'I actually do care about you' but that was it. I guess I just feel he doesn't feel the same about me... and the only thing bonding us together will be this baby.

[Cam3434]

Yeah, it seems he doesn't know what he wants and is confused. I wouldn't wait around for him. Do your own thing. He wants to be in your life he will make an attempt to

[Asker]

Yeah he is confused I suppose. Given the way we broke up, I would be too if I were him. Either way I guess he'll have to be a part of my life now whether he wants to be or not.

[jwillard1961]

You need to tell him. It's too late for any second chances. You two are in it for the long haul and unfortunately, it's time for you to do some deep thinking about how you treated him and vice versa. And then how you two can make things better and work together. Maybe it is through therapy or counseling. But you need to communicate with him, that's the least that you can do.

[Asker]

I've did some deep thinking, believe me. And have been really trying to show him this. But he has separated the emotions from everything regarding me, it's like there's an off button in his brain. I'm trying to communicate? But he keeps conversations purely physical. And anytime I've tried meeting him recently he's not for it.

[jwillard1961]

well then you're gonna have to tell him point blank "we need to talk" (", this is urgent and involves you and it's not going to be pretty") and hope that he follows through.

[Asker]

Yeah I guess so. Maybe if I put it like that he'll meet me then.

[Anonymous]

I think you need to tell him. Whether you believe he will get upset or not. you're pregnant with your ex baby. This is not a situation to wait around for. I know it's scary but hey, you have to do what's best for you and your baby. You never know, this may bring y'all closer. Or not. Who knows. But I know for a fact he needs to know you're pregnant.

[Asker]

Thanks, I know you're right. It's just, anytime I've suggested seeing him, he seems to always be very hesitant. I want to tell him to his face, but he's so reluctant to meet in person. Definitely can't wait much longer. He's going to be completely shocked I think :/

[Opinion Owner]

Well, if he keeps prolonging it, you might just have to text him it.

[Asker]

You're right :/

[clampfan101]

Well, you should most likely hear his feelings of it first. Try to look happy about it as you tell him you're pregnant and see if he wants to officially be together with you again to share the kid. If his reactions are positive, they should calm you down.

[Asker]

I guess you're right. I am happy I guess... I'm just scared at facing it alone. I have a feeling he's going to be in shock to start with? But I think he might like the idea of being a dad. he's just been so emotionally cold and distant since we split up I'm not sure how he'll react. I mean, he'll flirt with me and all. But there's never any sign that he still loves me anymore :/

[clampfan101]

Well, I feel learning about it will bring the love back. 😊
Tell me how it goes after you tell him? 🙂

[Asker]

Are you sure? I mean, he has said he 'cares about me' but that was only because I got emotional and asked him. he's been liking pictures of other women on Facebook (I know that shouldn't annoy me since he's allowed) but it just makes me insecure. He still maintains that he's not been with anyone else since me though and that I'm the only person he's flirting with.

Yeah, I'll tell you, I'm just extremely nervous 😕.

[clampfan101]

I understand perfectly why you feel so nervous. I can only assume I would be even more.
But I also know that anything, good or bad, is possible.
If you love him, you must try your best and see where it takes you. I will pray for you, alright? 🙂

[Asker]

I guess I do love him, I don't think I've stopped loving him yet. Thanks for your help and advice though, you've been very kind :)

[clampfan101]

I always do what I can. 😊
Good luck, and let me know how everything goes! 😀

Again, I'll be praying for you. 😊

[Asker]

I'll let you know. Don't worry about praying though I've got that under control :)

[clampfan101]

Thanks for MHO. :D

[Squidward]

Scary or not, you need to tell him.

[Asker]

I know, I just don't know how I'm going to break it to him 😖 Or how he's going to react.

[ElijahWolf]

Tell him that you're pregnant

[Anonymous]

You need to tell him asap.

[Anonymous]

You're so screwed :(