Ex being hot and cold?

[Anonymous]

Me and ex ended things about a year ago and have just recently started speaking again as friends, however, there has been some flirting, references to past intimate moments etc.

Two times now he’s been hot and cold, the first time messaging me non stop, double texting me if I haven’t responded and then all of a sudden stopped messaging. It recently happened again, however, the night before he went cold he drunk texted me and then was just avoiding my question on what he wanted. It wasn’t a booty call as I live 4 hours away. We then had a FT for the first time in over a year, talked for a little bit and then after that I didn’t hear from him.

I messaged him and he didn’t seem like he wanted to talk so I left it a few days before asking what the hot and cold was about, and all I got was he was busy. I told him I was busy but still made time for my friends and he said he didn’t have time. I told him that’s fine, at least I know where I stand and I’ll leave him too it.

I haven’t heard from him since, should I just assume he’s changed his mind about being friends and just stop making an effort at rebuilding our friendship? I don’t understand the hot and cold

[Cynicaldreamer]

"I messaged him and he didn’t seem like he wanted to talk so I left it a few days before asking what the hot and cold was about, and all I got was he was busy" No, he's too busy for YOU: there's a difference.

See people, crap like that is why you should leave exes alone! It's very rare to be friends with an ex. I think you both miss what was and tried to rekindle a friendship just to have each other in your lives, or remember the past-

Yeah he doesn't want that- more than likely he's trying to pursue someone else, hence why he's too "busy" to be friends with you right now. But the moment he's single again or lonely, he will call you up again.

I highly suggest you just leave him alone and cut your losses. Seriously, there's a reason they're called exes.

[Guy13]

Doesn't Ex mean past? As in let it go...

[Asker]

Not always, I still miss him as a friend and would like us to rebuild that. I just don’t understand the hot and cold & if he’s now changed his mind