In a relationship with my girlfriend because of our child. Should I put a ring on it or move on?

[Mellol]

So I’ll try to keep it brief. So 3 years ago me and my ex girlfriend hooked up and had a child. At the time my ex lives with her parents while working as a cashier. I did what I thought was the best thing which was moved her into my apartment to help her with the pregnancy. I never made her pay anything more than groceries. During this time I made a lot of mistakes as far as cheating that I’m not proud of. There’s no excuse but I wasn’t in a relationship for the right reasons. Fast forward to present day. I’ve purchased a home that we all live in. The relationship has improved a lot. I’ve made strides to do the best I could to give us a fighting chance but it still isn’t the best. We have arguments and I feel that if I hadn’t had a child I wouldn't be with my girlfriend. The simple answer is to call it quits but I love being a dad. I also don’t feel my girlfriend can provide as good as I can. I’m afraid If we broke up my kid would be living with my girlfriend and her parents which sucks because I have a house for our kid. I’m in a bind because I’m at the point where I either want to commit long term (marriage) or end this. She wants to get married and have another child. I’m still debating if I want this long term. My girlfriend isn’t a bad person were just 2 different people at this point and as I grow older it become more apparent. Any suggestions or opinions would be great. Thanks

[Chazmatazz269]

You already admitted to being in the relationship for the wrong reasons. Marrying her will only compound your problems. Start with a DNA test to make sure the kid is yours. If it is, then you need to come to terms with your very limited options as a man. You can fight for custody, but you’ll probably lose. If she’s vindictive, she can keep the kid from you quite easily. But staying with the woman is a big mistake too. Some of the things we’re meant to teach children is how to treat others, and how they should expect others to treat them. Your kid will learn all the wrong things growing up with parents that don’t love each other. Don’t do that to yourself or your child.

[Luopio27]

Ypu admitted your wrongs, cheating, to us, but did you confess and got your apology through?


Another factor is, you seem to want to go all the way with her. So my advice is, go all the way, work out you differences and give that child a home for all 3 of you. A house where both parents are there for her.

[Anonymous]

If you have to second guess yourself, don’t get married. And I’d never stay with a guy just because he donated a little bit of sperm if we’re not compatible and head over heels for each other and past the infatuation, honeymoon phase.

[Guy13]

child stability is greater in two parent household. your call.

[Anonymous]

Given your history, the last thing you should be doing is getting married.