Should I stay with my girlfriend even though she is pregnant but it's not my child?

[Anonymous]

Well first of all I really love this girl because I have fun with her and she makes me really happy but like it says in the question she is pregnant but the baby is not mine. Her previous relationship was not that great because she was abused and taken advantage of and she wound up pregnant but she did not know that until we met 2 months later. I found out she was starting to vomit and I advised her to go to the doctor but she always refused (I guess because she knew she might be pregnant and didn't know how I would react) and she eventually gave in and went and found out the bad news.

We've been together for almost a month and its been the best time of my life. I really care about her and I love her and I'm willing to help raise her baby but I don't know if I'm staying with her only because I've never met anyone like her and because I don't want to be the bad guy and leave her. I'm just really confused because this is the first time I'm in a situation like this but ,honestly, I just can't keep my mind off of her. I know she loves me because of the way she looks into my eyes, the way she hugs me and kisses me, and the way she tells me she loves me. I just want to be sure I'm not making a huge mistake by staying with her even though I love her.

I appreciate your advice and thanks in advance!

[Anonymous]

From what you tell me I think that you need to be careful before you make a MASSIVE desicion like this. Firstly, if she has been abused in her previous relationship, and has now found someone treating her properly like you, she might be rebounding big time. And this is almost the perfect example why girls should wake up and not go out with jerks "cus the look fun" cus this is the sort of sh*t that happens! Personally (and this is just my opinion) I would almost never accept it if its not my child, your first born is your legacy, and I personally don't want to raise someone else's legacy. I feel that having sex with someone is like the ultimate "i love you" especially sex for the first time. But I can't judge as I have never been in your situation, and don't share the same feelings as you for this girl.

So before you make that big decision, make sure it is for real, and more than likely you can't tell after a month

[Undetermined]

Well before you think about leaving her what's with abortion?

I mean she loves YOU not the guy before you. So why should she want's to get a baby which isn't from you and I'll bet she knows that you won't be really happy when the baby is born.

Speak with her about this topic. I know about 'motherfeelings' but maybe she will notice your pain and reminds herself that you can give her a baby, too.

So maybe you should talk about this topic at first, but quickly, I think it's just legal until the third month (in my country at least...).

link

A wikipedia link to abortion.

[MrKkibbles]

Or adoption. I don't see abortion as evil as most people claim it is, but it is important to consider all the options.

[SamayaLuv]

Let me start by saying you seem like a very good guy...

If you truly love her and you believe she truly loves you...go for it!

alot of women are treated badly and then left ...usaully as someone elses pick-up. Luckily she found a guy like you who have great intentions rather than her previous "so called" boyfriend.

Just don't hurt her anymore than she's already been, guide her because that's what she needs at this point in time...Dont be with her if you're really just feeling sorry for her,...because if that's the case..it'll just make the situation worse. Mke sure you're with her because you truly love her and care for her...DEEPLY! A baby is never 'asked' to be here...but I 'brought' here to be taken care of with care and patience...

[MoheganSun]

Stay with her :) She will love you forever, and it will mean more to her than you can possibly imagine! Careful, she's scared and hormonal right now, so walk on eggshells around her. If she says something hurtful, she doesn't mean it, she's just having a bad day. I know guys can't usually understand this, but its true. Hormones take control of our bodies and we say things we don't mean. Staying with her will never be a mistake, she needs love and care and support more than anything right now. Thank you so much for loving her, I think she would say the same thing. Tell her you love her. <3

[BlueSkittles]

same exact thing happened to me. except I'm the girl... and my man didn't meet me till I was 7 months along. he accepted ayden as his own, and the baby absolutely adores him haha.

now baby is a year and a half and its like being in a normal relationship, he often forgets that baby isn't his haha. I say go for it.

after all its not her fault she got taken advantage of

[MrKkibbles]

This is tough since she didn't cheat, and since it hasn't been born yet. She could consider giving it up for adoption. Even if she was willing it is probably too late for an abortion, I've read it can take 2 months to be able to get one, and she is already 2 months pregnant.

If you are willing to completely raise someone else's child, then I would stay, but if it was me in the situation, I would not stay if she was keeping the child.

[jackflynn7]

She's a little scared and you give her hope. If you think your exchange of feelings is genuine, stay with her. You have seven month to be sure about this. If you are, marry her and raise that baby as your own including your name on the birth certificate. This is big-league sh*t. Can you handle it?.

[lovecraze]

awwwwwww, you are just like stan in the movie, backup plan... ! If you feel the same way as stan did.. then you should stay with her... ! Just make sure you do, or else you may end up ruining you are life... and you are a really nice guy!

[KVN1995]

Hey man, do what your heart wants. Im in the SAME situation as you. I also met my girlfriend while she was pregnant.(She found out at 14wks) she was still having her periods and everything, untill she finally found out via Ultrasound. I stayed with her. Its a little mind boggling because its not your own blood, but remember that a real DAD is the person who was always there for them and one day I plan on having kids of my own with her :). Stay up man, hope for the best!