Why would a girl want to keep an engagement ring even after a divorce?

[AndrésC64]

This happens quite frequently that the girl wants to keep the engagement ring even after the divorce. In my case, my ex is the one who wanted the divorce, but she also kept the engagement ring. Why would you want to keep an engagement ring if you didn't even want to stay married? It seems to me more like greed and/or spite.

Updates

+1 y

Girl: Remember that ring that I accepted as a condition of love and marriage? Well I've changed my mind. I don't love you and I want a divorce. But I'm going to keep that expensive ring anyway

[DizzyDesii]

If you give me the ring, its mine. Dude ain't gettin jack back. All the jewelry i ever gave my exes, promise rings, chains, watches, etc... Did i ask for that shit back? No. But i made sure he never got that gaming chair though because i prob wouldve cut it up. Instead i just sent it back before the shipping reached him. Slick Shouldve kept it for myself though as an office chair. THE ONLY WAY I’D GIVE BACK A RING IS IF ITS A FAMILY HEIRLOOM. Otherwise, fck that mf

[AndrésC64]

It was a gift contingent upon marriage. If you end the marriage then you should give it back.

[DizzyDesii]

If you end the marriage, you should take whats yours, aka your money, not the gifts you gifted. The ring (anything that wasn't an heirloom) was a gift. She doesn't owe the dude shit and same can be said if she bought him stuff. My ex who was getting the gaming chair wasn't aware of his surprise Christmas present. Therefore, it was still mine since it never reached his doorstep. You gave her the ring in her finger. If it wasn't a family heirloom, its her. Just be glad you can walk out with your money and hopefully you had a prenup

[AndrésC64]

Well then she's just being a greedy cunt. She took the ring on the contingency of marriage and then she ended the marriage. She's being a greedy bitch. She doesn't care enough about him to be in a relationship but she cares about his money enough to keep it.

[DizzyDesii]

His money is still his money. His ring was a gift of love. And once that Love ends she can keep it, sell it, throw it, give it back, whatever she pleases.

[AndrésC64]

She took the ring on the condition of marriage. She ended that marriage. She should give the ring back. Unless of course she's a vindictive greedy cunt. Why the hell would she want anything to do with a ring from a guy that she doesn't want to marry? Other than greed or vindictiveness?

[DizzyDesii]

Now you’re just being repetitive. You’ve stated this to me already. You can now tell the others below who said the same, that she can do as she pleases with the object she was “gifted”

[AndrésC64]

And you are being repetitive. Obviously the only thing of interest here is $$$$. You are entitled to your opinion, But when the only thing of interest is $$$, That's called greed.

[DizzyDesii]

I dont give af about money. You do which is why you want the ring back so badly. I threw my last ring and i’d throw the next if things ended

[AndrésC64]

Yes, I care about it because I spent my money on it as a condition of love and marriage. If the girl breaks those conditions she should give it back just as a decent human being would. And if you don't care about money, you're just being vindictive. Thank you.

[DizzyDesii]

Vindictive yes because I dont owe him anything if he’s divorcing me. So i’d throw the ring in a river and fido can go play fetch. I dont get the “money” and neither does he. Like i said, if its a family heirloom, I’d be respectful and give back the old hags ring. But if its some worthless (and now meaningless) jewelry you bought from the store, no matter the cost, im sinking it

[AndrésC64]

I'm glad you agree it is vindictive. And I specifically stated that she I wanted the divorce. So I'm glad we agree that keeping it is being vindictive. Thank you. That's what I said from the start.

[DizzyDesii]

I never said it wasn't vindictive. I said it was a gift and not about “the money”. So you’re happy. Im happy. Nates great. Au Revoir

[bolverk]

Women tend to think that an Engagement Ring is a gift where in actually it remains the property of the husband, The Engagement Ring is a symbol of the promise of marriage, women fighting to retain the Engagement Ring is a fairly resent thing as women have become more mercenary in divorces, The woman should return both Engagement & Wedding Ring to the husband if they divorce as he should return his Wedding Ring, though it s more likely today that the man will have bought all of the rings.

[FilmGuy93]

She might just like the bling or want to hawk the ring for a few bucks.

[petitedollbabee]

Only reason that I can think of is it was a gift, therefore it’s hers and it’s her choice what she does with it. You don’t ask someone to give the gift that you gave them, back. Maybe she wants to sell it, who knows. At the end of the day it’s hers and her choice what she does with it or why she kept it.

[AndrésC64]

You don't accept a gift with conditions attached, break those conditions, and then expect to still be able to keep the gift. The gift was given upon the condition of love and marriage. When the girl breaks those conditions, she should give the ring back.

"Eemember that expensive ring that I accepted upon the conditions of love and marriage? Well I changed my mind. I don't love you and I want to divorce. But I'm going to keep that expensive ring anyway."

[petitedollbabee]

If it was a wedding ring - sure. But an engagement ring doesn’t come with a guarantee of marriage in my eyes. An engagement can be broken off at any moment. A marriage cannot, without the headache of going through divorce.

[AndrésC64]

An engagement ring doesn't come with a promise of marriage? Really? It is offered and accepted upon the conditions of love and marriage. If the girl breaks those conditions, she should give it back. That would be the decent thing to do.

[petitedollbabee]

Different perspectives. I don’t believe there is a right or wrong answer to this question.

[Slingblade1126]

I told my ex to sell the rings. If she wanted to keep them, that was fine too. What the hell was I going to do with them?

[Daniela1982]

Yeah, but the rings you give out you get from Cracker Jacks.

[NathanDavis]

no idea...

but I do know that, the ring is hers... so she can do whatever she wants with it, and that includes... keeping it after the divorce

[AndrésC64]

Well of course she can do whatever she wants. I'm simply saying that if she keeps it she's being a greedy vindictive cunt. The ring was conditional upon marriage. If she breaks off that conditional contract, she should give it back.

[NathanDavis]

if you actually made her sign a contract that states she must return the ring, then just take it to court, and problem solved...

[AndrésC64]

I suppose relying on her to be a decent human being is a bit much to expect. She accepted the ring upon the conditions of love and marriage. If she breaks both of those conditions, she should be a decent enough human being to give it back. Unfortunately, many aren't.

[NathanDavis]

just so you know...

a divorce involves two parties, you also divorced her, so you also broke that promise because you surely do not sound very fond of her today

[AndrésC64]

Nope. That is not a nationwide thing. In Michigan it only takes one person. And I'm sure it's that way in many other states also.

[NathanDavis]

I am not talking about the civil contract...

and talking about the promise you made before God... to love her and respect her, in the good and the bad and all that stuff

or, maybe you didn't have a traditional wedding and vows...

maybe you just went with the papers and the condition that if you're no longer satisfied you want all your money back

[AndrésC64]

God? As if God has any relevance. You still haven't provided any evidence to support the claim that any God even exists.

[DizzyDesii]

Nate, you’d make a perfect lawyer. And you have morals at that and wouldn’t just side with the moneymaking case. Just wanted to say that before I go 😂

[NathanDavis]

@DizzyDesii yep... on the legal side, he already accepted that she can do whatever she wants

on the moral side, he's arguing against her about the same thing he failed to keep with her

also, greed can go both ways... for those who want to keep monetary value, as much as for those who want to take away monetary value

[DizzyDesii]

Ahh keep talkin dirty to me! Lol no seriously these are some good points. I can now sleep well knowing I spoke with someone more level headed

[AndrésC64]

@DizzyDesii Because bringing your religion into an argument is always the best way to go. 🤦🏼‍♂️

[DizzyDesii]

Morals doesn't always mean religion… but God is good. Thanks for the reminder

[AndrésC64]

@DizzyDesii He brought up his god. That is bringing religion into it. And I'm glad you brought up morals. Where do morals come from?

[DizzyDesii]

His God is my God as well. Morals have to do with your standards towards what you believe is right and wrong… i know many non religious people who have them as well. Maybe i’ll introduce you one day

[AndrésC64]

@DizzyDesii But my question was, where does your god get the moral?

[AndrésC64]

You know what? Disregard.

[DizzyDesii]

Try to build a relationship with him someday so he can explain it all to you himself. I’ve wasted enough energy for the day just trying to convince you that it wasn't about money with the ring

[NathanDavis]

we all now that an argument is absolutely done... when they want to switch and argue about something entirely different

case closed

[AndrésC64]

Ok @NathanDavis, let's continue this and see. Unlike you, I can consider two ideas at the same time. So let's argue both, okay? Why do you think that you get to keep something that was given with conditions if you break those conditions?

And since you brought up your invisible friend, let's see where that goes, shall we? First of all as I said above, you're invisible friend is absolutely 100% irrelevant to the subject. Your God is not necessary for any part of this wedding / engagement we are talking about. Do you know who decides whether you are married or not? The government. And if you don't believe me, try to get married without the government. See how that works. Second, since we're talking about right and wrong and being a decent human and all, what do you think that you're invisible friend would say about people who take things conditionally, break those conditions, and then still think that they get to keep the thing? Where did your invisible friend get these so-called the morals of his?

I'll wait for at least a few answer to these questions above and then we can continue if you so desire.

[AndrésC64]

Oh, and @NathanDavis, I love the way that you "think"that I somehow lost an argument because I responded to something that you said. Guess what genius? You are the one who changed this subject. We were talking about engagement rings and you brought your invisible friend into it. So that means you lost the argument by your own reasoning. 🤦🏼‍♂️🤦🏼‍♂️🤦🏼‍♂️

Thanks!

[DizzyDesii]

I just have to say this. He didn't bring up the religion. He mentioned God because some people prefer to marry before him and make that promise. I doubt Nate knew you were atheist or whatever you are because I had no clue either. He stuck to the topic of marriage but just added in there who he’s marrying before (God). I see the confusion now as to why you questioned me about morals. I didn't say nate should be a lawyer in terms of speaking about the Lord. He has posted on so many of my posts showing he has a truly good heart and good mindset and thats why I said he is a man with morals. I just wanted to add that in there but I do think you’re beating a dead horse with this topic. I’ll leave now because I doubt my input is further wanted

[AndrésC64]

You can't mention God and pretend that you didn't mention religion. In either case, we were talking about wedding rings and he introduced God/religion. By his own reasoning, that means that he lost this discussion.

And that reason I'm beating a dead horse is because people simply could have agreed with me from the start and said "Yep, I agree with you. It's their grade or vindictiveness." And there would have been no further discussion. But people like Nate always have to introduce their invisible friend and then accuse others of trying to dodge the subject when they respond to him and his invisible friend.

[AndrésC64]

And @NathanDavis is more than aware of my status as an atheist.

[DizzyDesii]

Maybe he doesn't find it vindictive. I said I’d keep any ring that is not an heirloom that was gifted to me, partially out of spite, but mainly because it was a gift. I still dont agree with the greed/monetary factor. I just feel you came at everyone sideways for feeling it was okay to keep a gift. And God is almighty. So don’t be surprised when believers mention him from time to time. Its what we do. You can always TRY to ignore that factor and just read the rest of the point being made

[AndrésC64]

Maybe he doesn't, he's never said. But you agreed with me. People gave me their excuses for keeping something that was given with conditions even after they broke those conditions, and I challenged those assertions. And I'm fine with anyone claiming that God is almighty. But they better be able to support those claims if they want anyone to believe them. And if they bring them (God/religion) up in an argument, then they can't say that I lost the argument by responding to their claims about God. You can't have your cake and eat it too.

[menina]

I don't understand that either but I guess it's either because they like the ring or they want to sell it.

[OlderAndWiser]

She can have the stone reset and sell the setting for the gold content.

[Daniela1982]

Engagement rings need to be given back if the engagement is broken. Wedding rings do not.

[SunnyCaliGirl]

Yes I can see who the woman wools want to keep the engagement ring out of spite. But it’s an odd kind of spite for sure

[XXblack88]

To sell it and make some money off it. Why else would a girl keep the ring?

[Nikki1989]

They usually want to sell it.

[AndrésC64]

Exactly. It's all about $$$. It has nothing to do with emotions or the contract for marriage that was made.

[annabananna]

To sell it for money or if married with kids she may want to keep it for the child.

[AndrésC64]

Why the hell would you want to give your child a symbol of your broken marriage?

[annabananna]

Who knows it could be sentimental to the child.

[AndrésC64]

Possible. But I doubt it. And in the rare circumstances where that is the case, I still don't know whether I would support the girl keeping the ring. The ring was conditional upon love and marriage. Once the girl breaks those conditions, she should give it back regardless of sentimental feelings.

[NotTacocaT6969]

Probably to sell it.

[AndrésC64]

Yep. $$$. She doesn't care about him, but she sure likes that $$$.

[Guardian45]

Yup. That's WRONG!