I think it's easy for people to just say, "Break up." But please understand this is and has been "My person". My only person in the world. She is my favorite. I am hers.
People like to date equals right. My qualities are 5'10, hobbyist bodysculpter/six pack/just fit, cybersecurity analyst with an A. A. S. working on B. S. in Programming. I'm a bit coocoo for coco puffs. Severe anxiety, sometimes paranoia of those I am supposed to trust. History of drug addiction and suicide attempts. I'm mostly better now, but still anxiety is bad.
She has a Masters from Ivy League, but she is not very attractive. I think she's pretty often, but most would say ugly. Missing teeth, bad skin, dry hair, rarely makeup, etc. She is a high school math teacher. Very smart and capable. Much more than me.
I want to be objective here. So I will start with how I have failed her.
1: I called her bad in bed. This hurt her badly. She doesn't do head, swallow, she ripped my frenulum from gripping too hard [extremely painful, took 3 weeks to heal]; gives me consistent yeast infections despite cleanliness; and, she doesn't french, due to self-consciousness about bad teeth, etc. But. I should not have said this, still. It hurt her.
2: I suspected her of trying to kill me after a lot of stress, no sleep, kitty died, and 1.5 grams of caffeine. Heavy, I know. Doc called me bipolar. Dunno if I believe that, but regardless, those are the facts.
3: We stayed at her sisters for 2 weeks. She did not want me touching her during this time, but got upset that I wouldn't cuddle at night, in our room. Very upset. It was difficult for me to pretend like we weren't together physically. Sister knows we're boyfriend n girlfriend, just didn't want to PDA.
4: It all came to a head. She got mad about me throwing out her stuff on accident. I broke up with her, too tired to deal with it.
She broke up with me the next day.
I find out she talked to her ex in text about how I don't keep up with her sexual appetite, and...
The guy says he expects her to give him all the details.
The guy says he'll be in the state this weekend, and he wants to meet up.
girlfriend assures me they did not. I don't know how tovbe sure. Or if I even have a right to know or care since we had just broke up and I caused pain that made her want to fuck a bunch of guys.
Should I stay with her? What would you do?
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