Is this breakup reason unreasonable?

[Anonymous]

So couple years ago this guy C. And I dated for 6 months. Then it abruptly ended bc he cheated on me and his way of telling me was sending me the proof and then cutting all contact without allowing me to ask questions. So time went by I moved on I dated other people. However once or twice a year I’d hear from him he’d check in see how I was and then abruptly leave me again.
Well now this last time he did that I asked him to tell me the truth and to stop blocking me re adding me and talk then leave and actually talk.

And so now for the past 4 months we’ve been talking a lot. And decided we’d try dating again but just taking things slow. But today he told me he plans on being in the military for the next 12+ years and hopes to be deployed many times. And I feel devastated, like this is a dealbreaker to me. I feel bad asking him not to because it’s what he wants it’s his dream. But I don’t know that I can handle the stress and worry of him leaving on deployment. Especially since he’s left and came back so many times in our relationship.

Am I being unreasonable?

[Anonymous]

oh god... well, if this were me i would not allow the contact to go past him trying to reach out. this adds to the he talks to you, then leaves you, and the circle repeats. you are hurting yourself by responding to him...

DO NOT try dating this dude again. he sounds so immature and it'd be a big mistake, you'll actually probably even regret it, thinking you should have learned from last time.

so he wants to be in the military for a VERY long time. does this mean you would want to be his wife? also, he'll fit right in in the military. lots of military dudes cheat.

just let him go. you'll find a better guy, a guy that isn't flaky and unsure, leaving you an emotional mess trying to figure out what you did wrong (you did nothing wrong by the way)

[Asker]

I agree. And we talked about getting married but the more I think about him and me married and him still going on deployments I’d be hurting myself more if we did. And it’s not that o don’t respect what he wants to do but I’m always gonna feel like he’s never coming back bc that’s what he made me feel like everytime he’s left.

[Anonymous]

I think breakup is necessary in this case. Already the foundation of your relationship isn’t sturdy, between the cheating and all his hot and cold contact behavior. He’s too inconsistent, too untrustworthy, and this job he wants is a dealbreaker for you. All I see is the universe pushing you to do what you are having such a hard time doing on your own, which is leaving him. I think a better, more compatible and faithful man is out there, but you can’t receive with a closed fist.

[Drumlin2001]

Yes you're unreasonable. Your relationship won't last, ge will cheat on you again, so you shouldn't be stopping him from doing what he wants to do. For both your sakes let him go

[Adam1978]

Why in the hell would you give a guy like that a second chance. The world is full of men that hasn't treated you badly why aren't you screening them and dating them instead.