Can I fix a marriage if husband resents me?

[Hannahbanana94]

Husband resents me because I’ve been mothering him and nagging. Holding the past. We fight a lot and are very toxic. I know what I need to do to fix us and I’m willing to do it but he’s checked out and resents me and doesn’t want to try and fix it. I told him we should start going on dates and rekindling and forgetting and forgiving. And he just says he doesn’t wanna touch or hang out with me. He just wants a divorce. What do I do? CAn I fix this marriage? Currently he wants a divorce and is sleeping in the guest bedroom. I love him so much and we have a 1 year old.

[Mega_illuminati]

As a friend of someone who has been through, I am sorry I can't sympathize you.

For your kid's sake, I hope whatever happens, works out for the best.

Regarding your situation: we are definietly not the people to ask this. Best would be to consult a specialist in your area. Maybe proving by actions that you are serious could instill his trust in you.

[Adam1978]

You should have done that before you crossed his line. Since you where the nagging person you where the toxic one, you should have known that it wasn't the right thing to do in a good relationship, but you still did it.

[Hannahbanana94]

I was like that because of past resentment that I felt. He cheated on me prior to marriage. And as we were married always looked at other women and called me names and left me walking on egg shells. So that’s why I did what I djd

[Adam1978]

If he cheated you should have left him there and then. It's no excuse.

[Hannahbanana94]

I forgave him and gave another chance and he hasn’t cheated since we’ve been married. It’s to late to go back in time. But now he moved back home into the guest bedroom still doesn’t come near me but hasn’t filed. I don’t understand what his motive is. Should I just ignored him? His birthday is this weekend and he told me I was invited to come out with him but still doesn’t want to really talk or hang out with me otherwise. And def doesn’t want to show any affection l. What can I do to get him to push closer again?

[Adam1978]

Well if you resented him you clearly didn't forgive him. Actions are more important than words. You have an opportunity to coming up to actually show you can change and give him attention without any negative attitude along with it.

[Hannahbanana94]

He is sleeping in spare bedroom barely speaking to me. I don’t feel like I deserve this treatment. I keep getting mixed signals. Should I just give up and walk away or give him space and let him decide?

[Adam1978]

You have earned that treatment somehow, no one is ever doing things like that without reasons. You are probably to late with your actions. You should have acted sooner. Because if you lost the respect and value of a partner it's extremely hard to earn it back.

[Hannahbanana94]

Yet he’s lost mine far more and I’m willing to fix things? He was extremely controlling towards me, the way I dress, who I talk to. Where I go. Use to call me names all the time

[Adam1978]

That reason for you to leave, not to keep him. Stop argue against saving the relationship. If your not having a good relationship you should let it go. Keeping a bad relationship will only waste more time.

[xColinx]

Seems like the only option would be counseling or to move forward with the divorce. The ball seems to be in his court :/

[jshm2]

Try marriage counselling. But it reads like it's too late for any of that.

[slatyb]

You need marriage counseling.

[Guy13]

Counseling