Should I ignore him or hear him out?

[Anonymous]

I was in a relationship with a guy for 6 months. He started ghosting me. I discovered he got back to his ex girlfriend. I'm heartbroken because I have feelings for him and thought he felt the same way.

He has recently reached out to me, but not sure why. Don't know if things didn't work out with his ex and wants to use me. Should I hear him out or ignore him?

Updates

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[LaBokaChula]

I have been in this situation before and I am going to be direct with you and completely honest... Even if he really has feelings for you and he truly cares of you.. If he respected you and valued your relationship with him , he wouldn't have opened the door back up for her... He showed you how he REALLY felt when he ghosted you... No matter what the reason is, ghosting isn't acceptable. He could've done things the right way and told you what was going on in his life, but he chose to be a coward and ghost you.. He did that to AVOID accountability. If you choose to respond to him or give him the benefit of the doubt, he will know that he can toy with you and that you will still be there for him..

Please don't go back to that relationship, love yourself and respect yourself more than the closure it sounds like you may be seeking. No reason is good enough for someone ghosting you.

But more than likely he's reaching back out to you because he realized the grass wasn't greener, he still wants to have access to you, or he wants to see if he can have his cake and eat it too.

[Asker]

Thank you so much. I've literally cried all night. But your kind words and understanding have helped me. I was desperate for someone to talk to who would understand. Thank you again

[LaBokaChula]

You are so welcome, and you can send me a private message if you ever need it.

You are worth more than the bare minimum, please don't forget that. YOU are the prize. You will never be asking too much for the right person. It's okay for you to cry and release your emotions but please don't let them control you. React with logic and not with emotion, otherwise we will lose the situation every time. I've had to learn this myself over the years. So, I completely understand everything you're going through. I cried over the guy for years, but last year I made the decision to walk away and I haven't felt better. You will get there someday, you just need to give yourself some time.

[Asker]

I'll message you if it's OK. I feel I need someine to talk to who understands. My friend doesn't seem to understand so I'm keeping everything to myself

I keep reading your words and reflecting on them, because i feel so broken inside 😕

[LaBokaChula]

Yes that's fine. Yes, that's how I felt for the longest time and I even wanted to "run back" to him. All of this happens because you're going through the motions, just let it pass. It's going to feel hard at first and some days you'll find that they weren't thought about.. But there will be days when it gets hard and that's when you have to trick your brain to think about something else. It's easier said than done of course, but I know you will get through it. You just have to want better for yourself and know that you deserve more.

[likelyOK]

I couldn’t have said it better

[Anonymous]

Don’t go back his ex was the one he really loved now he is just using you as a distraction. He wants to jump from one relationship to another. It’s completely disrespectful. My ex and I recently broke up and if Devin had ever done to me what he did to you it would be over.

im sorry to be so straightforward.

[Asker]

Thank you. I appreciate your advice

[FilmGuy93]

You're saying "hear him out" as though he has indicated that he wants to explain something to you. Has he said that?

As for whether you should respond; this could go a lot of ways, but as long as you have a good sense of personal boundaries, you don't really need to worry about what his intentions are because you shouldn't want this person in your life romantically in any way.

Whether he wants to reconnect with you, or simply say "hi," if you don't want him in your life and you have a strong sense of boundaries, you can draw the line at whatever this conversation will be.

Having been the guy in a similar situation (don't worry, I'm not a cheater. I just tried to reconnect with people I had bad blood with previously), I can tell you that he might genuinely just want to say "hi" and not have another unpleasant interaction with you.

[Asker]

Thank you. That makes sense. I appreciate you taking the time to give a genuine detailed response

[FilmGuy93]

Happy to help. Best of luck!

[OlderAndWiser]

Why would you go back to someone who only saw you as the backup plan? Don't you want to be the most important woman in your partner's life?

[Asker]

I do. I know now he probably thought about his ex when he was with me. I'm finding hard to let go but not sure why 😕

[OlderAndWiser]

Sometimes, when you have dealt with loneliness in the past, being in a bad relationship feels better than being alone.

[Asker]

You're so right. I've felt lonely and alone for a long time. So I think being with him filled that void. I'm quite a shy person, but not with him. I felt I could be myself around him and talk openly to him. It'd rare I feel that way with females let alone guys. I know i have to accept he doesn't like me in the same way I like him.

[OlderAndWiser]

It may be difficult for you to believe, but the experience with this relationship should make it easier for you to find a better relationship in the future. . . and probably not too far into the future, either.

[Asker]

Thank you

[boggboss]

Thats completely upto you I think most level headed people would move on

[Frank1010]

Ignore. I don't know why you even thinking about it