Why is my narcissistic ex still trying to get attention from me?

[FallonSamuels]

Six years back I dated a guy, not knowing he was a narcissist. I went through all the stages from being love-bombed and put on the pedestal and being isolated from friends to being discarded and smearing. Once I finally realized what was really going on, I finally decided to cut all contacts with him. I blocked him on all platforms and finally moved on with my life.

A year ago I bumped into him for the first time after having cut contacts with him. He tried talking to me so he could apologize for what he basically put me through. I didn’t entertain the conversation, I just said okay and walked away. Throughout the night he was still trying to talk to me but i just didn’t want to.

Last weekend I bumped into him at a Halloween party. I didn’t even see him until later on when he decided to come sit at a table across mine. He was speaking so loudly as if he wanted me to know he was there. I just continued conversing with my friends. A few minutes later he decided to stand up and dance IN FRONT of me - as if he wanted me to see him.

Why is he trying so hard to get a reaction from me? I’ve finally moved on and I don’t want to put myself through the abuse anymore. Does anyone know why they do this?

[quaranta]

Absolutely, keep total distance from him because I see how vulnerable you still are, to him. I say that because even if you moved on, it sounds that you didn't fully understand how a narcissist works. Of course narcissists crawl back when they see their prey moved on. They lack of boundaries and to fulfill their own value they need the others. They need to see their targets are dependent on them, desperate to get them or desperate to struggle, they need to feel important in whatever way and to see you addicted. If you move on, it's like telling them:"Well, you aren't so relevant in my life afterall", and they take it personally because they don't understand boundaries, as if everything is related to them, so they will retry the challenge to win you again, to reconfirm their value to themselves.
Now that you moved on you are golden material for your ex, he will chase you more and more any time he can, if you let him, with all the techniques he can use to convince you to get back.
Do not believe at any rate that he "changed" or that his apologies mean anything. He is just really concerned he lost his power in your life and wants to win it back for his own sake. And besides, no adult can significantly change their core in a couple of years, most often not even in decades or in their whole life, so let alone one year and on a person who has such rooted issues. Think of that as if it's not "physically" possible and stick that to your mind as a defense for any time he will sound convincing.
Probably he will try harder for a while now, so, resist, and stay as cold as an iceberg for all the time needed until he will either rages or hate you or just move to someone else. Don't give any crumble of progress to him otherwise you commit him even more to try with all his measures.
Ghost him if he reaches you out online, do not disclose too obvious details about your life on social media (so that he won't "casually" show up in the places you might go).

[mandyfire98]

That's exactly what narcissist do. They'll keep coming back because they crave the control they had over you. They miss that they had that with you. He's trying to get your attention because narcissists need attention. He wants your attention. He views you as his perfect plaything and he wants to play with you again. To him you are a thing and not a person.

I had my experience in college with a narcissist and it turned my life upside down and I got away but he came back and like an idiot I got swept back into it. I finally broke away from him for good.

[Anonymous]

He's trying to get you back to be with him again. He wants you to notice him for that reason. It's really pathetic and childish and if he's resorting to these tactics it means he hasn't changed one damn bit and is the exact same person you dumped years ago

[Havthrills]

Because he wants your attention like he did before. My ex was like that. Did many things. I really cut her off everything but she was so bad the courts cut her from everything. The court didn't know my part just what she did after.

[LaBokaChula]

I've had the same exact situation happen except I didn't run into him in person. I hated the situation and it just felt disgusting to me. I couldn't understand why he kept reaching out to me either. I'm sorry that you're going through this.

I think it's done to see if they still have access to you.

[sage2021]

Because THEY are the one that does the breakup, not the victim. He might be thinking if you gave him another chance, then HE would drop YOU this time. He who laughs last, laughs best.
Have you tried going on Quora. com? They have all kinds of people to answer this question. They have a whole section about it from what I was told.

[OC1990]

He is a narcissist so he’s trying to control the situation still, the last he can grasp at. I would just look through him and blank him.

[adanzeye]

very simple. it will get you again and obsess you. and life will be a prison for you again. you gotta protect yourself baby

[WhitneySnow]

They always want their exes back. They figure you put up with it once you will again.

[JPresidente]

He’s trying to get you back in his life. Could be for a friends with benefits situation or maybe he wants to rekindle things. Hard to say for sure.

[FilmGuy93]

Because he's a narcissist. The whole world revolves around him

[Hannajenky]

Why are you still thinking about your ex. Let them go

[Alex8736]

they are like herpes. someone Will get treated for it then it goes away but days/) months/years later BOOM they randomly reappear out of left field

[Anonymous]

You say this now, but you will end up in his bed in a month.

[DiegoO]

Keep ignoring him. He eventually will look for another potencial victim.

[CubaPirate]

Because ad a narcissistic man he's got got big ideas about himself and thinks everyone else even his exs should have too

[Debbie14217]

bc thats who he is... narcissistic... thats what they do... ugh!!

[sheikalana]

He loves the attention. Cut him off.

[Anonymous]

because... narcissist...

[eagle1951]

must still like you