Does the number of times someones been engaged matter to you?

Question

I know that some people care about how many people a person has slept with or how many times they have been married, but do you care about how many times a person has been enaged? I mean being engaged would be great and all but if we broke up, I’d see it as just another breakup unless we had been living together or something. (Because i wouldn't be willing to unless we were at least engaged).  #FeelFreeToList

Swollerbear · Accepted Answer

For women, yes. The higher a woman's count is, the more disconnect she has from sex. Men marry up women who sleep around thinking they'll get a kinky freak for them. Typically it's the opposite. These women have conditioned themselves to value sex from the perspective of novelty. It's more a cheap dopamine rush rather than a way to intimately bond with someone you care about and love. The more a woman conditions herself in this way, the more you'll see these issues arise in marriage. There's also something to be said in conditioning this habit. It will likely lead to fantasies of others, and infidelity. Women who sleep around a lot tend to do so for validation. In a long term monogamous relationship, needs aren't always going to be fulfilled. There will be seasons where you feel empty and needs are unmet. That's where infidelity comes to mind. If you've already conditioned this habit, then you have a higher likely hood to commit the act of adultery. It's just common sense.

This isn't to say that women who sleep around are to be disposed of and forever deemed as unworthy of monogamy. We all make mistakes. Men ought to look at their own mistakes before they judge others so critically. Sleeping around impacts women a lot more than men though. If you think you can sleep with the entire football team, and experience no consequences from it, you're being naive. This is coming from someone who has dated a lot of promiscuous women. So yes, it matters whether I want it to or not.

Jamie05rhs · Accepted Answer

No, not really. I'd honestly respect her a lot if she had found out the dude wasn't right for her and actually had the ovaries to make the tough call and call it off.

Rosexøxø · Accepted Answer

I think it matters in the sense, that I’d be sad. If it were a guy who’s been engaged a few times, and then she called quits… and a bunch of she ‘s, at that-

I wouldn’t know whether to think it was all rushed, or trying to just have a mate to grow old with, or if genuinely those were all true-love scenarios, where she may have been afraid or discovered hers wasn’t true, or she didn’t truly love him, and was just intentionally cruel.

I think I simply couldn’t decide on this, 👐 other than it would have to be a discussed matter, in order to hear his story, catch his vibe, and go on from there- IF I truly loved him.

Ideally, though, I wouldn’t reach for a number like that or a guy who had that kind of number. It doesn’t look good on anybody, 👐 but my sympathy is with the ones who never intended for that to happen.. and had that happen to them outside of their own free will.

Samscott456 · Accepted Answer

It could be a bit of a red flag I would say. Depends on what happened I guess and if they learned anything from the experiences. Also number one rule I keep is if he complains about all his exes and that he was never a problem in any of his past relationships run away.

Avicenna · Answer

It would have to be larger enough than their number of marriages to matter (and I wouldn't date someone who had been divorced more than once anyway). For example. engaged four times and divorced once is problematic because it indicates poor judgement.

SnowedIn · Answer

I love this question! Yes, actually, that would matter to me. The number of people she slept with? Doesn't matter at all. But engagements are different. If she's breaking those, that's worthy of serious conversation and might rise tonred flag issue. That speaks to me of commitment and trust issues or maturity or a lack of taking seriously or any number of not great things. There might be reasons that are totally not under her control and she's been an unfortunate victim. So, yeah, not a deal breaker but really important.

Finchie40 · Answer

Yes it could definitely play a factor on what kind of person they really are if the truth came out , but all in all most people lie about their past experiences and how many people they slept with etc , I don’t really dwell on the past to much with someone I really like just as long as they don’t have a horrible reputation of being easy and a whore , if a girl has good moral values then I am drawn to that but again we really never know , Usually the truth doesn’t come out until later in the relationship after they suck you in and then you really find out the person’s true colors then you are stuck on whether you should stay with them or let them go , Sad world we live in

AimeeKyle · Answer

It wouldn’t matter to me. I would likely have questions regarding the different engagements, like who broke it off, what prompted the move to call it off, did you learn anything from the experience…etc.

mstbooblover · Answer

No, actually I don't give a damn because if I like someone, it's the same person there in front of me, whatever their history, which only becomes a concern in case of jealousy. We all have a history, and details not to be proud of. Meaning I'm accepting this also from a potential partner.

RavVid · Answer

Well probably it would matter to me if she was the one breaking it off all the time. I'd think all those broken engagements were dress rehearsals for divorce and she might have preferred expensive rings to the men who gave them.

All red flags.

Phoenix98 · Answer

It kinda matters yeah because if you keep making it to being engaged multiple times but never actually get married then what exactly is happening each time that prevents you from going through with it?

There's a reason you never go past being engaged and it's connected to you.

TrillXHippy · Answer

If someone is engaged for like years and never knows when she’ll get married then I wouldn’t care. Dang that scene 😭. Yeah I think 3 would be my limit tbh

NathanDavis · Answer

if someone's been engaged three or four times...  I would have to wonder what's going on there... lol

magiusX26 · Answer

it has some signifigance seeung as it can help determine her ability to commit amongst other things. of course that also includes finding oyt why the engagenent/s ended too.

The_Shadow_Dweller · Answer

It should not, but it does. Not to me, but many people around me.

TallAnon · Answer

Everyone and their past is unique, so the number itself isn't important, but it does tell you something about them.

AdithyaR · Answer

I'd consider it the same as being married or at least the commitment to being married. I'd look at it from the same perspective.

Abdulwahh · Answer

Well in all honesty engagement it's not like I will ask who all engaged but of course I would wonder what's wrong lol. I would want to know the type of person she is, whether I could trust her. etc.

Pink2000 · Answer

I don’t want to be with anyone who was previously engaged.

msc545 · Answer

This would worry me a lot - it means that there is something very wrong with her, or something very wrong with the guys she picks. Or both.

Twalli · Answer

A guy my sister knew had a fiance who died before they got married. I wouldn't care if her fiance died. That's not really an issue

nawtee_me · Answer

who cares what the guest think the bride would be the one I would watch out for... stay farrrrr away...

kellytheman · Answer

I never been engaged or married but I have dated and hook up with women that were formally engaged and honestly it didn't matter to me.

Wiredone · Answer

I wouldn't care about their body count, marriages, or engagements. All I care about is the present and the future. I don't live in the past.

TheAfrikan · Answer

Well I will say it does, since if she has been engaged like for 10 times ina row, then she is the real problem lol.

Anonymous · Answer

Of course! How is that any different from the amount of guys she's slept with. It might even be worse.

DevinAM · Answer

It suggests to me that one party or the other either cheated or has a habit of breaking promises.  But it depends on who did what & why mostly.

Dargil · Answer

I never bothered to ask.

katiesmuff · Answer

Not to me it doesn't

TheSpaceGnome · Answer

No, just slept with or married.

Veronica1111 · Answer

100% anybody that says otherwise is lying

moonpie89 · Answer

Nope. I don't care

Guardian45 · Answer

CONGRATULATIONS! WHEN'S THE BIG DAY?

ZenJen444 · Answer

Too many times is a red flag

elizamichale1 · Answer

No not really

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