Why is my boyfriend not telling even his close friends or anyone he hangs out with, that we broke up?

[Anonymous]

So it has been 2-3 months that we have been running around in circles. Recently we have had quite a rough time in terms of connecting and adjusting. It has been 2 years that we have been together. So recently he told me that he finds himself in a very suffocating situation where this wavering thought about the relationship is eating him up from inside. He feels like he is not boyfriend material and right now is not capable of carrying forward this relationship till the point of marriage. Now after this, there has been a lot of stuff going on, he wanted to still be in touch and I was terrible at doing that. I felt like I couldn't control my emotions and ended up telling him to continue the relationship to which he repeatedly declined and I got hurt. In between his mother texted me like she usually does often, and asked me how me and family were doing and that she wanted to talk to my mom regarding US. I asked my boyfriend then what my reply should be and he said "just tell her that- okay aunty will do so". I said "you're making me lie" and he said "nah nah". I don't know what that means now. Recently he and I had a terrible argument and we blocked each other everywhere, this happened because I called him one night and argued with him regarding the breakup and he was agitated. I unblocked him though after 2 days and its been 4 days he hasn't unblocked. He is now visiting his home, and his childhood friend, who is in touch with me, told me that he asked my boyfriend about our status and he said "its fine, we are good". My mom texted him then, asking what the hell was going on and to sort things out in a better manner, since I couldn't eat or sleep since this started, and he replied to my mom saying "we are taking time right now aunty, but are unable to give eachother the space we need. I even told her to take some time". I am confused as to why he tells me its over, and tells everyone else including my mother that it is just a cooling off period?

[PrettyPriya]

Well, for one, I think that he could be embarrassed about what happened and does not want to tell people. This is because then he has to explain why things happened and no one likes to do that. He would rather sweep it under the rug and ignore it.

If he told you that it is over, it is over. Does not matter what other people think. They might want to think this is a cooling off period, but ultimately, the decision is between the two of you. Sounds like others surrounding the situation are trying to be optimistic that things will work out and you will get back together.

That is what I make of the situation. It does not sound like you two were meant for each other. Just read the details, you seem confident that he is not relationship material right now and not capable of being in one. I think that is a strong indication that you are right and he is not someone that can handle it right now. Do not waver on those feelings. You are likely correct.

[Asker]

No, its not that he is sure and confident about his decision because one day he is like it will not work like I said, next time he tells me, "give it some time", again few days later when we talk on it he says "he doesn't want to discuss anything about that remotely because right now he is stoic and feels nothing for nobody including his friends". Thats that. I mean I dont know what phase he is going through. We really do love eachother still, and we are not dating anyone else and neither do we want to.

[Guy13]

Embarrassed probably even if it was ugly break-up. Failure is difficult and worse is the beating his Momma is going to give. He’s probably getting name treatment from Mom.

[Iron_Man]

Im not sure why maybe he wants another shot

[In_Trance]

It doesn't matter. Move on