Ladies if you were in a bad relationship how long does it take to date again? ?

[Anonymous]

Let's say you were in a mentally abusive relationship and you ended it. How long would it take to date again. Would you still need time if you liked a guy?

Updates

+1 y

Anyone else?

[Anonymous]

If I was in a bad relationship I might just get under the next guy I see or I might have to take months to rebuild myself. It really just depends on the girl and the relationship. My healthy relationship/breakups generally take me longer to get over but the toxic ones I would always find a rebound as soon as possible.

[Asker]

So long story short i was talking to this girl for 2 months every single day. it was clear to me her boyfriend treated her like crap. She came up to me one day in tear and told me her boyfriend is cheating on her. I polietly texted her if we could go grab some food to cheer her up. Since a month ago thie following happend. She doesn't talk to me like she used too. She did infact break up with her boyfriend two weeks ago maybe, she just see's me and looks down or gives me a sad smile. What did i do wrong? This girl said things to me that made me think she liked me. Is it she needs time?

[Softlife808]

Not long..

[Asker]

So long story short i was talking to this girl for 2 months every single day. it was clear to me her boyfriend treated her like crap. She came up to me one day in tear and told me her boyfriend is cheating on her. I polietly texted her if we could go grab some food to cheer her up. Since a month ago thie following happend. She doesn't talk to me like she used too. She did infact break up with her boyfriend two weeks ago maybe, she just see's me and looks down or gives me a sad smile. What did i do wrong? This girl said things to me that made me think she liked me. Is it she needs time?

[Softlife808]

You were too pushy. If a woman tells you she Just went through a break up it's not wise to move quick like you did. If anything you should've wished her well, backed off to let her come to you. Otherwise you Subject yourself to being a rebound or a victim of her trust issues. At the moment she does not trust men.

[Asker]

i just say a simple hello right now. I think i was little too pushy. i will just let her come to me. I did notice this week it looked like she wanted to talk to me. She would say hey what's, just small talk. I guess i have to be more patient. I never really had a girl say the things she said to me before her break up so yeah i will back off. Thank You for you help

[Softlife808]

Yeah I wouldn't pursue her because you're just going to be a rebound and friend zoned

[Asker]

it's a long story with her, she actually approached but i can't really write it via comments

[Softlife808]

I still wouldn't pursue you will be a rebounded and friend zoned.

[Asker]

i get what you're saying 100% I don't know the things she said and actions she showed may show otherwise but i guess ill just say a simple hello and give it a month or so and if nothing happens move on

[Asker]

thank you for your opinion and help

[Softlife808]

Yeah you have to look out for you too. Don't allow her to use you as the guy she goes to for advice. Especially if you like her because then she'll see you as a friend. If that makes sense just dont be there for her too much is what im saying. Make her miss and chase you. You're welcome

[Asker]

I get what you're saying
Thank you

[Asker]

Would I be able to PM you the full story of this girl? If not it's totally ok and I appreciate what you wrote

[HateyouxD]

Yes because he probably knows I've been abused and will be abusive also.
I actually wouldn't date the new guy

[Asker]

What if she spent time with this "new guy" and she felt loved and happy. She would still need time you think?

[HateyouxD]

Absolutely

[HateyouxD]

Whybare you rushing?

[HateyouxD]

Why are**

[Asker]

well i think this girl likes me based off of her actions, she broke up with her boyfriend two weeks ago and now she doesn't really talk to me or just a simple "hello", its like like she did a total 360. She look at me with a sad smile, from her talking to me every single day she switched up. I know her relationship was bad but she probably wants nothing to do with guys right now, right? I just dont know why she's acting like this to me.

[HateyouxD]

You're a guy. She's having trust issues. Just like the lady told you above. Don't be pushy, give her space. STOP pursing this girl. Right now she's attached to someone else. Yes she may actually like you but there are some people out there who won't leave someone for someone else. There's a saying "the grass isn't always greener on the other side" maybe that's how she feels about you vs her boyfriend. Like you've still haven't answered why YOU are rushing. You mentioned what she is doing and how she feels. Tell me why you're are doing it and how you feel? To me. You guys don't have much history. It's mostly she showed interest and it's got you hot and bothered because you haven't scored. You asked this girl out way too fucking early lol you can't be so eager in most situations especially when she's dealing with a whole other relationship with a guy she's fucking. She's not fucking you so she's not all the way invested. Just back off please. Give her space and let her come to you. Good luck

[Asker]

I'll be honest with you and you can go ahead and laugh at me. I never had a girlfriend before and I do admit maybe i'am rushing it. She 100% broke up with her boyfriend. I'm not a guy who who wants to have sex right away. I'm willing to wait to make sure things are good. From talking to me everyday, then I kind of made a move, she stopped talking to me then broke up with her boyfriend and this week it looked like she maybe wanted to talk? I simply asked "hey how are things with your situation?" then she got super sad and said "I don't want to talk about that right now". I don't have experience and I can't read her mind. I was trying to help her out. I know for a fact she's been through a emotional abusive relationship, I just wanted to be there for her. I'll give her space. Again it seemed like she wanted to talk to me. I cannot read people's minds. I will just give her space, slowly move on and see what happens.

[HateyouxD]

I gotta stop you. You have a whole vendetta. Like you have ulterior motives and it's to get with her. At the end of the day. That's the goal
Imma keep it 100. Back off. If she wants you my man she will come and get you. Trust me

[Asker]

Sometimes she shows mixed signals like for example last week she walked past me then stopped and turned around and then said "hey what's up". But i get it. I will stop, give her some time and go that way. Thank you for your insight

[HateyouxD]

What the fuck is that supposed to mean? She's strictly a friend right now. Back off

[HateyouxD]

I don't mean to be cruel or mean. My bad but do you have autism asbergers? Somethings not sticking with you. You have to internally digest what's not working for you and understand why. Learn boundaries

[Asker]

i know she is strictly a friend right now. What do you mean be cruel or mean? im not doing that at all. I don't know why you're snapping. I just said i will give her space. If she says a hello, what i can't talk to her and ignore her? I'm not understanding you. i'am going to give her space.

[Nikki1989]

It could be a day, or it could be weeks. Life is too short to waste time.

[Asker]

What if she spent time with this "new guy" and she felt loved and happy. She would still need time you think?