How long after the breakup do you decide it’s time to start dating again? Or do you do rebounds, hookups, friends with benefits, ONS?
For me, it’s usually around 6 months or later. During that 6 months, I heal and focus on myself. I decide that I feel ready enough to start trying to date again. I don’t do rebounds or hookups/FWBs/ONS.
0-3 months
3-6 months
6-12 months
12+ months
It depends (comment)
Never had a relationship/Don’t know
I don’t date, I do hookups/friends with benefits/ONS after breakups
Select gender and age to cast your vote:
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How long after a breakup do you usually go on dates again?
It depends on how long the relationship lasted, how the breakup occurred, and my general mental status. For example, I met Lynn in 2008 and we were married 2½ years later. After three years, she told me that she decided getting married was a mistake, she was unhappy, and she didn't want to continue the marriage. A month later, she told me that she was quite happy and didn't want a divorce. Over the next year she flip-flopped on tht decision seven different times and it was exhausting but, by the end of that year, I was quite ready to let go of her and move on. We separated early January 2015 and the divorce was final in March 2015 (I'm an attorney and I can make a divorce happen very quickly.) By the time I was divorced, I was not sad or depressed about the divorce and I had accepted it. I also had absolutely no contact with my ex and, since then, have contacted her only once because of a matter of an old business matter that arose.
I felt ready and started dating at the end of May 2015 but did not get into a physical relationship until around November that year.
I have not had (bad) breakups per se... every time it was a mutual and weighted decision, means that we also had a time, last weeks to reach to that point in which we made sure we would be alright with and it was for the best, or the better... or just actually needed
and once single I never had any plan, nor I ever had any rush to "go back to dating" I actually never actively dated, never actively went out and look for someone, never went out to try and meet people with the prospect of starting a relationship (hook-ups, rebounds, casual sex were not even a consideration, I never done anything like that) I just focus on the many things that I still have to do and work on, while being single and I've always been fine with that
however, I never really close up to the possibility of ending up meeting someone, and being interested, intrigued by someone... and it has happened that way, somehow, somewhere at some point I end up meeting someone that's just great, and happens to be even greater after I get to know them, and this... has happened after six months, eight months... a little bit over a year, one time... it happened as soon as two months after I was out of a relationship, I never plan for this, it just happens... when it happens, lol
They say -ideally- you should move on or start dating again in the timeframe equivalent to how long you were with said person... because that's usually how long it takes you to get over them. For example, if you dated someone 3 months, that's usually how long it takes you to heal, process, and get over them.
... again, I said usually. Some people heal and move on faster than others.
For example, the last guy I dated, I didn't even look at another guy for almost a year!!! I dated him for almost 9 months, but he cheated on me so it took a while to get over the hurt, and even look at another guy, much less trust one. But that's just me. I rather not enter a fresh relationship until I'm completely over said ex and feel like I'm ready to focus on someone new.
It depends on the relationship/breakup. In relationships where I’ve been cheated on & my feelings for them has died out months before the actual breakup, I only wait a month after said breakup before I start dating again.
In relationships where the breakup has been mutual because we want different things, I’ve waited around 6 months before dating again.
In one relationship I had that lasted 3 years, I ended up cheating on him because he was abusive and wouldn’t let me break up with him - so I had to cheat to make him break up with me - I stayed single for a year and a half after that relationship because I wanted to focus on myself.
Okay, it really depends. I guess if you were married and then either divorced of your spouse, or they passed away, then absolutely 1yr! For boyfriend/girlfriend, but like very serious… maybe 6mos. Unless he cheated on you, then you need to f**k his best (hot) friend as soon as possible! Im kidding, but honestly once she or he has broken the promise of trustworthiness, all bets are off for how long is long enough to get over it! Anything other than that, is really up to the individual! Whatever he or she feels comfortable with, go for it!
It depends on what the relationship was like before the breakup and the reason for the breakup. Sometimes it's fine to start dating immediately. But if you need time to heal, it can take as long as necessary.
What isn't healthy is to wallow in grief. After all, relationships are just relationships. They are like experiments to see if you are meant to spend the rest of your lives together. Sometimes a breakup can feel as devastating as the death of a loved one. But once you go through the stages of grief, it's important to get yourself together and move on with life. You owe it to yourself.
I don't think you should wait. Unless you need some time to yourself there's no reason to. I think people feel guilty if they move on to soon, like the relationship didn't mean much to them if they rebound quickly. This is self flagellation. To paraphrase the buddah the trouble is we think we have time but we do not.
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Anonymous
(25-29)
+1 y
At 15, I had honestly accepted that dating wasn't something that would happen in my life At 16, I dated my first girlfriend for 8 months After that relationship ended, I flipped back to the woe is me angle A few months later I ended up in a relationship with my second girlfriend, entirely unplanned by myself and that lasted a few months When that ended I believed in the conceptual process of relationships but have yet in almost 8 years to go anywhere with this accepting that finally maybe just maybe the earlier truth that it won't happen *again* in this lifetime for me
I have this philosophy when it comes to dating. During the relationship I will give it 100% my best to keep it alive. However? Once it is over, I go completely cold towards them and act as though they never existed. I don't mean I go bat crap crazy and sleep around, but I do go back on dates usually within a couple of days. I have a lot of friends of both sexes, some of whom are single and that helps a lot.
If I meet an interesting person, then I'd be open to dating them pretty much right away. I've never been hung up on any of my past partners.
If I'm the one breaking up with them, I have my reasons why I no longer wish to be with them. And if they are the ones breaking up with me, I just put myself in their shoes and assume they have equally good reasons to break up with me.
The dumper is not going to miss me, so it makes no sense for me to miss them either.
I take time to heal from it, reflect on it, and sort out the feelings that remain. It takes me a while. Took a few years after one of them. I think the shortest amount of time was around 6 months and that’s only because I met someone unexpectedly. For that reason, I voted 6-12 months.
I don’t really have a specific number of months in mind.
Whenever I feel like I’m good, mentally, then I’ll start investing more in time with women that I like. Whereas before, if I’m not in a healthy or comfortable mental space, I may not entertain getting more comfortable or intimate with a woman.
I feel it out and determine from there, as I know my own body, mind, etc.
Depending on the relationship it can range widely but overall i move on fairly quick as to me "done is done". That being said i avoid hookup culture women and hold fairly high standards so meeting people who can uphold that is what can make it such a varient. Sounds harsh but even with being fairly invested I could be moved on in a week. May have some adjusting that lasts longer but again i am very "done is done"
Depends entirely in circumstances. After my break up from ex I wanted to get back on the horse ASAP. However, I realised as I waiting for a speed date night to start that I wasn't ready. It was a further month down the line before I signed up for online dating and a further month till I met someone I connected with (so about 3 months). That didn't work out, was only a couple of months, but was at peace with it ending. A month later I met my now fiancé. We're doing good 4 years on
I wait 6 months plus I don’t do rebounds or hookups/FWBs/ONS but it's been many years since I had a Girlfriend, never married, any sex, just never made it to the level in relationships where I would have sex with any girl that I thought was going to stay with me
It depends on how long and how into the person I was if it was a long relationship where we lived with each other it can take me a couple of years to get over it but if it’s only a few months it doesn’t take long at all and I’ll throw myself out there again
When I go for a girl I tend to go very strongly for her so 6-12 months before I would develop feelings for another girl. It annoys me to see young girls dating a different guy after a week and says to me that they really don't really care about any of them. Women seem to get over failed relationships faster than men in my experience.
I stopped dating after discovering my long term mate was in fact a transgendered boy, so a girl in anatomy, but fake/surgically crafted neovagina (he was born with a penis they circumcised away/amputated from him). Obviously could not get pregnant, since they cannot implant ovaries and uterus (nor testicles, when it comes to sown up girls with oenile implants - those we refer to as 'abusive/toxic men')
@hotgirlmagic yep, very much what it feels like. I now notice transgenders, I think with 80% accuracy (cannot know for sure) - and to ask a girl whether she is certain she has ovaries/uterus - well, you have to be genuine about wanting a pregnancy with her, which is a bit difficult to get to considering we are supposed to meet/get close and living together first - yet, almost all transgenders simply lie (or are themselves unaware, which is worse, since you don't want to be their therapist once they find out someone chopped off their genitals... I mean, just imagine that 🤕😱)
Do you mean they were a transgendered girl? Or is a transgender girl and transgendered boy the same thing? Ed makes the difference?
Hmmm, I'm sorry for your disappointment... they did this to her/him as a child? I really hate, especially American surgeons who do that to babies... and parents who allow (if they know)... I don't live in America... but I'm pretty sure that is rare for other countries and more common in America but NOT a majority.
I don't know. I've gone through countless of break ups to the point where I don't know if I'm going to press onward to the next girl or not. As far as I'm concerned with that,... the next girl will most likely just be a repeat. It just gets tiring.
As for sugar babies, sugar mamas, baby mamas, side-chicks/friends with benefits and rebounds,... I can't comment on any of those for I've never experienced any of those.
I'm sure the sugar babies would cost way too much anyway.
I don't think rebounds are a good idea. If you can't stay with a person you shouldn't stay with them. Also keeping on touch with them for other types of relationships is not a good idea and a recipe for heartbreak
It will depend on the length and depth of the relationship. Dating for a year? I would be looking for someone else in a couple of weeks. Living together for ten years? It would take me a while to get over that.
I took several years after a long toxic relationship. I saw too many men my age jump out of the frying pan into the fire with quick relationships and sleeping around after breakups. I don’t regret the time to myself.
the earliest for me was about a few weeks… but then again, the “relationship” wasn’t necessarily something I was attached to do “moving on” wasn’t difficult
