My ex’s mother still keeps in touch even though I’ve been avoiding her, how to let her know we are done?

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

My ex’s mom kept in touch and I always answered politely. She grew very fond of me but overtime I realized that it made me only more concentrated on my ex and made me think of him more often and I didn’t want to be a girl who stays in touch with his mom even though he has fun with another girl now and doesn’t even think of me.

So I told his mom it’s better we don’t talk anymore because it makes me very sentimental and sad that we are talking instead of I and my ex fiance.

She said she understood. She didn’t message iften but she still messaged me and I didn’t reply her anymore because I was trying to live my life without remembering my ex, she was upset I didn’t answer. So I just answer out of politeness sometimes, she just told me she wants to fund my trip around China so I have a happy time in China…

What does she want from me?

It makes me upset that my ex fiance is not involved in my life anymore and he is like a total stranger and his mom still keeps talking to me and trying to do me favors. I don’t want her money, nor her trips. Why do I need all these if I am not with his son anymore?

[dynamicyandere]

I’m thinking maybe she’s hoping that her son will come back to you. And this is her way of trying to hold onto you since she hopes for the possibility that you two will get back together.


You’ve already told her that you need to move on and it’s best that you two don’t talk. But, it sounds like she’s being persistent.


I know it sounds harsh, but maybe have a final conversation, as if it’ll be your last one with her, letting her know all you appreciate about her and the memories that you’ve shared. But that it’s time for you to go, and you need to space to move on.


Then ghost until she stops contacting you.


And in the future, if you ever feel like contacting her again on your own terms, you can be the one to initiate.


You can lay a boundary as respectfully and politely as possible, then stay true to that boundary you’ve laid.


Hopefully she will understand where you’re coming from and give you the space you ask for.


But if she STILL doesn’t give you the space you asked for, sadly, you may just need to ghost her…

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

I’ve thought about that as well. Maybe she’s trying to hold onto me while her son is being silly.

I guess at this point she might be seeing my value better than my ex. But It’s not her who I had a relationship with. It was his son, her messaging me only makes me think of him.

I don’t know. The 2nd option is she feels guilty for her son’s extremely selfish decision.

I might not be harsh enough to cut all ties and ghost her now but I am answering her pretty late, once or twice in 2-3 days.

[dynamicyandere]

Yeah she’s probably hoping that her son will come back to his senses.

And yeah, she likely doesn’t want to lose such a great would-be daughter in-law.

It’s a tricky situation. You want to end on good terms and but her messaging you so much is making it more difficult for you to move on.

I suppose responding slowly is that middle ground, to sort of taper off gradually.

Hopefully you’ll be able to move on despite this. It’s harder but it’s probably still possible.

If you’re not able to though, you may need to have that hard conversation with her.

[turk55]

Yes. You are right. You could say that she's glad to know him, but that he should respect your opinion because you've decided to part ways with his son.

[Anonymous]

I'm still friends with my ex's mother. They took me into their family and were very good to me. My ex cheated on me and was abusive

[NostalgiaSenpi]

Tell her to stop bothering you and block her number and any other form of communication.

[MementoMori777]

She probably sees you like a daughter now

[msc545]

Just ignore her.