I still think about my ex everyday. It has been months since we broke up. Is this normal or should I see a psychologist or something?

[tischro]

What do you think? Do you believe it is normal that I still think about my ex everyday although it has been months since we broke up? :(

[Lliam]

It's absolutely normal. Anybody who has been in a long term, infatuated relationship has been through it.

I had one particular girlfriend who I wound up loving with my heart and soul and she loved me. I had been deeply infatuated with previous girlfriends in my life, but this was different.

We lived together for over a year but wound up separating for reasons that are complicated but didn't have anything to with cheating or anything mean. We simply wouldn't have been able to spend the rest of our lives together.

Separating from her was the greatest pain I ever experienced. It literally felt like I had been kicked in the guts to the point of feeling almost nauseous at times. Sometimes I would double over and bawl when I was alone. It took me a year to pull myself together and get on with my life. I had to accept the fact that we were not meant to be lifelong partners.

The pain subsided but I never forgot her. I never will. I will always love her. I cherish the time we had together.

I met my future wife three years after Petra and I separated. We got married two years later and have been very happily married now for going on 27 years.

[DaveJord]

Yes its normal, but pride gets in the way of things. I think about my ex as well. I mean she was emotionally unstable, but she was great person to hang out with and have fun with. I mess the experiences we shared, but it was too much to maintain. But I still appreciated the things that we shared. But I would never try to contact her again, she told not to. But I never told not to contact me, so if was thinking about me every day and actually reapproached me in a good way, I would potentially restart the relationship. But Boundaries would have to be respected this time.

it totally normal, honestly. But if you are not willing to up yourself out there in humble way and give it a second chance and put out the initiative... then yeah you need to get over it and move on. He probably has, but if left him no avenue or way to reapproach you... then it on you.

[jennifer_bloom]

It might be due to wanting to condition your life and mental equilibrium in a certain way and viewing a connection with this person as the only way to maintain that mental state, you need to evolve new tastes for new people or activities, so you can alter your current expectations in life.

[sage2021]

A psychologist would be able to give some different thoughts to ponder in. I don't think they are a cure.
What helped me was going to the self help section about love and breakups at the library and reading book after book until my mind felt better.

[ohsheeT]

First of all you have to be honest with yourself and ask yourself why you feel the things you feel

Most of the time when we go through this. It's because we think that all the positive happy moments you had together came from him

So first of all understand yourself and who you are and what's within.

My belief is that every feeling every emotion you want is within all of us because we are the only one that can make ourselves feel and thing because we are the only one that's inside of us

I believe when we meet people and we experience new things they are there and they open up that door for us and when that door gets open our emotions are feelings are ignited and they come out and we get to experience them so when you're doing something fun when you're making love and you say oh my God this person made me feel this way that person did not make you feel anyway that person opened up a door for you to allow your emotions your confidence your experience your energy your life to start to shine and you get to experience your new emotions your new feelings because you're the only person that can allow them to happen with inside your body you're the only one that can make your be happy you're the only one that can make you be sad

On any given day somebody can come into your life and they can smile it will make you smile because they opened up that door for you to allow you to think about something

And in that moment you wanted to be happy you wanted to show who you are so you smile back you are the only person that can do that

When somebody says something mean or somebody does something bad it hurts you it opens up that door so you feel sad you're hurt so you open up that door to feel that because you're the only person that can make you feel that nobody else

So with your ex or with any relationship that you're in with anybody you remember all those times that those that door was open that you allowed yourself to feel something because of something they did once you understand this and understand you're the only one that control who you are what you want to be the things that are said to you your emotions how you feel at any given moment

If somebody was to say I love you you would feel good you'd open up that door you feel something new and you would Express your feelings however you want to express them

If somebody was to say something negative or bad to you you have a choice to either open that door and feel bad because of what they said but if it's not true why even open up that door you can just shake your head and say whatever you don't even know me because you're not going to waste your time in your energy on somebody that doesn't even know you or even if they do know you it doesn't matter because you're going to control what you feel and how you feel it

So pick a day and all day long every time someone says something to you understand that it's there word but it's your choice how you let it affect you

And in that same day pay attention to all your new experiences all the things that like happening that day and how it makes you feel because you are the only one that can make you feel what you're feeling so when you miss somebody when they made you feel good it was you that was making yourself feel good it was you experiencing a new part of you by allowing that fun to happen I don't think I'm really saying what I'm trying to say that I think maybe you'll get the point I hope you do

[ManOnFire]

It's very normal and we all go through it. I did for months too at one point. Every now and then I will think about mine and trips we went on and such. If it's affecting you emotionally pretty deeply then you should see a therapist.

Where thinking about your ex becomes bad is when you hope they come back or you try to get them back. This only keeps you stuck in the past and in the memories. Breakups are painful, but what is even more painful is the way you feel post-breakup. You feel anguish as if someone passed away and you're missing them and thinking about the memories of them, and then it can consume you so deep sometimes you feel the breath leaving you.

It's normal. But it will get better with time. It doesn't seem like it right now but it will.

[Anonymous]

As long as you aren’t seriously considering to do something stupid in regards to your ex then don’t worry about it.

I confess there is one ex I have from years ago I still think about way more often then I like to admit. She was the only woman I ever thought of getting serious with however everything ended like in a complete nightmare.

I did get psychotherapy about it. My counselor told me I would never forget the experience but I would get better at managing it over time. He was right because that’s how it’s been. She still hits my mind but I don’t get as worked up over it like I used to

I also was diagnosed with severe ADHD about 4 years ago. I always knew something was off but at least I understand what it is now. My mind has a way of fixating on certain things which can be a gift if it’s a productive issue but a huge curse if it’s not (e. g. my ex). But I know understand when my ADHD is acting up and making me fixate on the wrong crap.

[OfMiceandMen]

It's normal especially if you thought you had a great connection. The thing is, you can have that connection again. It may take a little while, but everyone needs a mourning period to get over a relationship.

When my wife passed, it took me 2.5 years before I could see or talk to anyone new, and I am not still not over her. I doubt I ever will be.

[b-river]

You gotta look inside and figure out why you're still thinking about him. Did he fill an emotional void? What did that look like and mean to you. Did you fulfill a physical need? Did he come at an important time in your life? Etc etc.

Ponder less on him, and why you're stuck on him. Once you know that, work through it and come to peace. You shouldn't go back to him, and should talk through it to move on

[TheIrishWolf]

She isn't my ex, but we were in love, and I dont think its gone either. That's not how love works. But yeah, she still pops up in my mind.

It's been years, but occasionally, I think about her. I've accepted it and I wish her all the best, even though she left me and then tried contacting me years later. But that's not how it works. I have principles. And It's got nothing to do with "having the upper hand". Thats childish.

[TenderFantasy]

Dude I had trouble getting over my ex for years. It's normal. You guys spent time and memories together.

[humpbackjack]

Of course he’ll come to mind now and then and even everyday for a few weeks maybe but I think you need to work on your picking skills cause after ready some of your earlier questions the guy seems like a bum

[itsalyssaagain]

Of course it’s normal. It took me 2 years to get over an ex once.

[brandon1122]

Its normal. But you have to slowly fully accept that it's over

[Anonymous]

That you are thinking about your Ex is normal, if you did not you would not be human,

Time will help, suddenly you'll realise that you haven't thought about your ex in weeks.

[In_Trance]

You should rail other guys

[DeanFreed]

I think about my ex it's been more than 20 years

[Blues36]

Maybe you can find a new lover

[EaterPeter]

Counseling

[EaterPeter]

Thanks for like!