Situation breakup?

[Anonymous]

I'm a girl and me and him broke up two days ago from this situationship (of 9 months) and he created such a situation that now I don't want him to contact me anymore. I lost all respect for him because he disrespected my feelings for him.
But I'm having a hard time now. I don't know how to recover from this pain. I also wonder why am I mourning for him so much, I miss him so much, and sometimes, WHY do I get this feeling of guilt that I was the one who ruined it all? Maybe if I was a little more considerate, this might not have happened (the breakup). Logically I know I've cared for him genuinely, and logically I didn't do anything wrong. Rather, he was doing wrong with me all the time. But still, i am getting so vulnerable and I feel guilty at times. Why?

I am really mentally scattered at the moment, my mind keeps switching between "I don't wanna be with this person" and "i miss his presence in my life". It's worse. This habit of talking to him and the the urge to care for him is bugging me. How can I recover from this habit?
Also, him consciously disrespecting my feelings is haunting me too. I could never imagine I'd have to see this from him. He's so fucking unpredictable! He's a shitty person. He didn't value my care at all. He doesn't even have a heart! How can a person be like that?
How can I lose my feelings for him and recover this injury?

[Anonymous]

It's completely normal to feel a range of emotions after a breakup, including sadness, guilt, and confusion. It's important to give yourself time and space to process your feelings and to prioritize your own well-being during this time.

It's important to remember that you deserve to be treated with respect and kindness in a relationship, and it's not your fault that the relationship ended. It's natural to feel guilty or wonder if you could have done something differently, but it's important to remember that both partners are responsible for the health and success of a relationship.

To recover from the habit of talking to him and caring for him, it may be helpful to limit contact or cut off contact entirely for a while. This can help you to focus on your own healing and prevent any unnecessary drama or hurt feelings. You may also want to consider reaching out to friends or a therapist for support and guidance during this time.

It's also important to remember that healing takes time, and it's okay to feel vulnerable or emotional during this process. Be kind to yourself, prioritize self-care, and focus on building a fulfilling life for yourself outside of the relationship.

Ultimately, as you continue to move forward, you will gradually lose your feelings for him and begin to heal from the injury. It's important to trust the process and to focus on your own healing and growth.

[Asker]

Your words are more than comforting :) thank you...

[Opinion Owner]

You’re welcome

[Stevefiveo]

Totally understandable that you miss the good times that you had. But at some point the you had enough of his disrespecting you. You broke up with him for a reason. So don't look back and date some new people. You will find someone that respects you. Good luck.

[Anarcamus]

I think some extra context could help, who initiated the breakup?

Have you taken an honest and hard look at your own contributions?
We as people have a tendency to project our own internal beliefs on others, and can quickly find ourselves reacting without actually considering all the details. You say you took care of him and say you cared but provide no details on it. Also, how did he disrespect your feelings? Its very important to realize that feelings are not facts and if you didn't communicate anything then, yes you may need to consider you reacted without compassion. We all contribute to a relationship failure, yet you present yourself as entirely innocent and him as being entirely at fault. My advice is to take time and really consider everything in detail fully.

Please understand that ultimately time and forgiveness heal wounds, and you never know what your future holds. You also have to accept that if you initiated this, the consequence of an reaction (reaction to feeling like he didn't care) vs. a response (watching if he attempted or made any effort to course correct, even if you had to tell him). You may have to consider putting this person before yourself if you find yourself in the wrong to this level.

[melnc]

Time and patience are the only way out