Why are marriages so frail these days?

[Sun_Kim-Ai]

I have friends that got married not even three years ago divorcing. My sister's husband let me know he's been sleeping in the guest room for four months now - no yelling or arguing, just plain indifference. And supposedly I have to keep my month shut about this because she forbade him from discussing this with anyone and especially me.

He assured me there's no talk of divorce, but it doesn't look good.

[OlderAndWiser]

1. Many people have unrealistic expectations of marriage and, as soon as they experience conflict (which is inevitable,) they think it is a sign that the marriage was a mistake and it can only be solved by divorce.

2. Too many people have an "entitled" mentality in which they think of marriage only for what they can get out of it and not thinking about what they need to give to their partner.

[lightbulb27]

My prior pastor summarized this…. Selfishness.
Its two very different brains that have to learn to communicate and work together more effectively than the one. Its work and change and may draw up deep emotional stuff passed on generations that needs dealt with.


The right answer is to accept the challenge

[Jamie05rhs]

Because everyone is an asshole. And if you get two assholes together, they will just be assholes to each other.

[Sun_Kim-Ai]

I do wonder if that's the case.
Perhaps he did something and didn't tell me, because I never saw my sister as the kind of person that just ups and kick out someone for no reason.

[Jamie05rhs]

@Sun_Kim-Ai. Hmm; not sure. 🤔

But just fyi, my statement wasn't in response to him specifically (or her). It was just in general.

[Anonymous]

Most people who get married today go in with the attitude, "well if it doesn't work out we can't just get divorced". If that's your attitude going in you shouldn't even be getting married.