Why don’t marriages last nowadays?

Question

1. Because nowadays people who choose excitement/ passion over compatibility. You care more about how passionate you are with them rather than whether or not you see a compatible long term future ahead with them. Marrying someone who is 15-20 years older than you will likely be a decision you will end up regretting when you’re older

2. Marriages / relationships are disposable nowadays. There’s no reason to stick to a marriage that has gone stale. It’s easier to seek someone who is new and more exciting. People rotate partners like they do with soda cans. If you dont feel like drinking Pepsi anymore , you can always open another soda (sprite). If you don’t like sprite , you can always open up a can of Fanta. At the end of the day, relationships become meaningless once you get bored of them. Just switch up

3. People enter marriage purely for their own personal self gains rather than to truly look out for their partners and children. Your wife suffers from postpartum depression and gained 40 pounds after childbirth , you threaten to divorce her if she stays that way.

4. couples look for reasons why the marriage can’t work rather than to look for reasons why the marriage can still work. If you can only see the bad / negatives in the marriage while you are oblivious to the positives , you likely won’t work on things when you encounter any obstacles

BCA6010 · Accepted Answer

I agree with most of these being common trends, except for #3. While I've heard of this happening, I don't actually know anyone who bailed or even threatened to bail on a marriage because of it, though I've known many women who, even long after having recovered from childbirth become insufferable to be around and eventually leads to either the husband bailing, or staying together solely for the sake of the kids. I've also known men to flee because of feeling anchored or overwhelmed by the kids, especially when they're in the 2-4yr old range.

You're also leaving out a really big one, which is the decline of religious influence in western culture. The husband and wife bound in the sacred ritual or sacrament of marriage is a core value of virtually every religion on the planet, and most place an eternal value on this relationship that encourages planning and making it work while discouraging divorce. Therefore as religions decline, so do lasting marriages, or marriage in general.

Phoenix98 · Accepted Answer

1# Different mindset these days

2# rush into marriages

3# don’t take time to actually find someone they are truly compatible with

4# things like no desire to fix issues or problems with the relationship, no communication between each other, etc, etc.

StephBelsten · Accepted Answer

5. The stigma for breaking a marraige back in the day made most people not even consider it, and so from afar stale or even abusive relationships seemed to thrive as everyone put their fingers in their ears and screamed LALALA lest they admit their own issues.

Desconhecida · Accepted Answer

People only want the honeymoon phase. When reality checks in, they tend to flee. They just don't wanna fight for the promises they made before God.

tessarae29 · Answer

Because people do not realize marriage goes through “seasons”. It’s hard and it’s not always fun. There will be months where you just do not like your partner or you get bored or sex is routine/boring. Or you think of “what ifs” like “what would my life be like if I was with this person instead”? You have to have a foundation from the start that puts God in the center. Understand that your spouse and yourself is going to change throughout the years (could be better or worse). You will not be the same as you were when you first dated. I may not like my husband at times, but it is me and him against everyone else…. regardless of feelings. We support each other, we help build each other up, we work together (no 50/50 or counting tabs).

I wish people understand that marriage is really HARD before they say “I do”. This is why me and my spouse took pre-marital counseling and the. After that, we decided to extend our engagement by an extra 18 months.

dustybiker · Answer

People seem to be so afraid to talk to one another. And more importantly listen to one another. And that means both sides.

rabbitzzz · Answer

70% divorces are initiated by woman. Among collage educated woman the number is 90%.  I am not putting blame on any gender. But I am a bit sympathetic towards men who had to lose their loved woman.

Anonymous · Answer

You summed it up very well. I also want to add something. Today, just as women go hunting for rich husbands, men also go hunting for one-night stands and disposable women. supply and demand issue.

Subarugirl · Answer

Because people chose bad partners and are not willing to put in the effort to work out their issues

Massageman · Answer

Yup. Yup. Definitely - immediate gratification! Yes- inverting the thinking could help!

Cowboy6666 · Answer

Only one thing: Pre marital affairs and hook up culture destroyed the marriage purpose

acooke-13 · Answer

Because this generation has fucked love up.

LightOfTruth · Answer

In my case she was a cheating hoe.

jahaims · Answer

Society values have changed

Babygirl_S · Answer

Arrogance and ego.

Why don’t marriages last nowadays?

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