Why does he not want to break up?

[Anonymous]

I’ve been with this guy since the beginning of this year. Everything in this relationship is odd. We weren’t getting along in the start of the relationship and the arguing would make him uncomfortable constantly threaten to break up with me. It then escalated to him joking about breaking up with me and him randomly sending me break up paragraphs to him actually breaking up with me.

We stayed broken up for a couple of weeks until he returned. Nothing has gotten better, in fact worse. I’ve been wanting to break up with him and he gets so upset about it that he says abusive stuff like no one would want me and if they did it was only sex. He’s broken up with me before so I don’t see how this will hurt him now.

[Pοrnytail]

There are a few possibilities for why he may resist breaking up:

1. Fear of being alone. Even if the relationship is dysfunctional, having someone can be better than no one for some people. The thought of being single again can be scary.

2. Wanting to maintain control. By preventing you from leaving, he retains power and control in the relationship. His abusive language is a tactic to undermine your confidence and make you feel you have no other options.

3. Avoiding responsibility. Breaking up would require him to admit the relationship is not working and take responsibility for his part in that. It's easier to just stay the course and blame you for any problems.

4. Losing the benefits. He may enjoy certain perks of being in a relationship with you, like attention, validation, intimacy, etc. Ending things would mean losing those benefits.

5. Difficulty letting go. Even dysfunctional relationships can become routine or comfortable over time. Some people struggle to fully sever emotional ties.

Ultimately, his resistance is about what's best for him, not you. His abusive language and attempts to undermine your self-esteem are not okay. You deserve a partner who treats you with care, respect and honesty.

While breaking up is difficult, it may be the healthiest choice here. Staying in a relationship that makes you unhappy just to avoid his objections will likely only breed more resentment. You have every right to end things for your own wellbeing, with or without his approval.

At the end of the day, you need to decide what feels right for you. But please don't let his objections prevent you from making a choice that prioritizes your own happiness and mental health. You deserve so much better.

There are a few possibilities for why he may resist breaking up:

1. Fear of being alone. Even if the relationship is dysfunctional, having someone can be better than no one for some people. The thought of being single again can be scary.

2. Wanting to maintain control. By preventing you from leaving, he retains power and control in the relationship. His abusive language is a tactic to undermine your confidence and make you feel you have no other options.

3. Avoiding responsibility. Breaking up would require him to admit the relationship is not working and take responsibility for his part in that. It's easier to just stay the course and blame you for any problems.

4. Losing the benefits. He may enjoy certain perks of being in a relationship with you, like attention, validation, intimacy, etc. Ending things would mean losing those benefits.

5. Difficulty letting go. Even dysfunctional relationships can become routine or comfortable over time. Some people struggle to fully sever emotional ties.

Ultimately, his resistance is about what's best for him, not you. His abusive language and attempts to undermine your self-esteem are not okay. You deserve a partner who treats you with care, respect and honesty.

While breaking up is difficult, it may be the healthiest choice here. Staying in a relationship that makes you unhappy just to avoid his objections will likely only breed more resentment. You have every right to end things for your own wellbeing, with or without his approval.

At the end of the day, you need to decide what feels right for you. But please don't let his objections prevent you from making a choice that prioritizes your own happiness and mental health. You deserve so much better.

[Oliverlogan263]

There are a few possibilities for why he may resist breaking up:

1. Fear of being alone. Even if the relationship is dysfunctional, having someone can be better than no one for some people. The thought of being single again can be scary.

2. Wanting to maintain control. By preventing you from leaving, he retains power and control in the relationship. His abusive language is a tactic to undermine your confidence and make you feel you have no other options.

3. Avoiding responsibility. Breaking up would require him to admit the relationship is not working and take responsibility for his part in that. It's easier to just stay the course and blame you for any problems.

4. Losing the benefits. He may enjoy certain perks of being in a relationship with you, like attention, validation, intimacy, etc. Ending things would mean losing those benefits.

5. Difficulty letting go. Even dysfunctional relationships can become routine or comfortable over time. Some people struggle to fully sever emotional ties.

Ultimately, his resistance is about what's best for him, not you. His abusive language and attempts to undermine your self-esteem are not okay. You deserve a partner who treats you with care, respect and honesty.

While breaking up is difficult, it may be the healthiest choice here. Staying in a relationship that makes you unhappy just to avoid his objections will likely only breed more resentment. You have every right to end things for your own wellbeing, with or without his approval.

At the end of the day, you need to decide what feels right for you. But please don't let his objections prevent you from making a choice that prioritizes your own happiness and mental health. You deserve so much better.

[Anonymous]

Because after sex there's nothing else there. Humans are animals not anything special. We want to have sex eat and be selfish.

That's what all animals do. We used to have social order and God which kept people together, but without that we are just animals that want to have sex eat and be selfish.

Expecting more love from an animal more than love from God or yourself is foolish.