Is it a good thing that I do this?

[Anonymous]

Relationship wise Once a guy betrays my trust, hurts me deeply or abandons me (doesn't have to be cheating) or anything that just hurts me deep. I don't want to deal with them or speak to them anymore and I will just not get back with them again

Is that a good thing or am I too harsh? It's just once the trust is gone I can never look at them the same. Even if its not cheating, if they're not there for me I don't want to know them anymore.

[DaveJord]

So here is my thing... some people are just too sensitive, and everything seems to affect them too deeply. I get that everyone has those one or two things and that is fine. But when everything seems to be way too important to them, or they have this idea that just because they care so deeply about this thing that it means I should as well... yeah get to stepping.

People like this seem to be soooooooooooooooooo caught up in how everything makes them feel, that lose focus that the other person has feelings to, and since you are making such a big deal about your feelings all the time... its like the other persons feelings get overshadowed or straight up ignored.

So yes, if you are doing this then yes you are too harsh. But maybe in reality you are doing what's best for the other person, and just thinking you are taking care of yourself. Which honestly is all you really are doing, you are so self asbord that maybe you have lost perspective.

So in general, you might be too harsh... but of course without any specifics it's really hard to say. But I have dated people that seem to feel everything sooooooo deeply that they pretty much end up swinging their emotions around like sledgehammer. Like if everything matters to so much on so many different levels... yeah, I am not the one for you so get to stepping.

[Asker]

No I mean as in, if someone leaves you dates someone else then comes back. That hurts me deep I won't give you a second chance. Or when I needed my partner to be there at the hospital and he wasn't there for me, he suddenly had a random headache. Then cuts you off randomly then comes back later and wants to me cordial and friends
I'm so yurt and disgusted I don't want to look at them again (these were two different guys)

I loved them still but my heart and hurt wouldn't let me give them a second chance

[DaveJord]

In those situations, then yes, I think you have to set boundaries and hold tight to them. But that's more about them disrespecting and less about your feelings. If they do not appreciate you or their words do not match up to their actions... they are gone from my life. I can't tolerate toxic people.

But I do not just jump to blocking them, I have all those conversations first and then see if their patterns of behavior change or get worse.

[Blueeyes81]

I'm that way with everyone.