We try to be safe, and open-hearted with each other. We broke up 3 months ago due to his need to experience with others. He's 30 and I was his only relationship, of 4 years. He struggles to move, like me, after 3 months. But He feels lost now, and he does not know what to expect from himself. We had a call about this last night, I told him I'm open to accept him now if we work things out, but I'm not sure about future. He said he is not ready. If he does not see with other woman, he won't know if he wants me. Its heartbreaking for me, you might imagine the level of despair. But I stay understanding.
I just can't respond same way right now. My heart is changing after last night. We said yo not text to each other. To move on easier. But he texted me to clarify stuff more last night. That he does not like seeing me sad, and i'm not the problem. That we should care for each other's feelings and he sends me hugs.
I'm extremely heartbroken, and I feel this emotions, but I'm not sure if I should reply?
My wish for him to realize what he wants sooner, and me showing affection draws him further. I don't know if I should stay true, which is warmth and care, or skip replying?
What Guys Said
Man that's a really tough situation. On the one hand, I can understand why you're so hurt and don't want to reply. Breakups are hard enough without all that uncertainty about the future.
At the same time though, it sounds like your ex still cares about you as a person even if he's not ready to commit again yet. Cutting off communication completely could damage the relationship beyond repair, you know?
I think for now, keep it brief if you do reply - just something simple like "Thanks for checking in, I appreciate you caring about my feelings too" or something chill like that. Don't pour your heart out or get into long discussions, just acknowledge what he said in a friendly but still kinda detached way if that makes sense.
The space is still good I think, but leaving that small opening for the future isn't necessarily a bad idea either if you're both on good terms. Focus on you for now though - get out there, hit the gym, make new friendships. That way you're moving forward even if things don't work out in the end. Does that help at all luv? Let me know if you need anything else.
Thanks so much 🥺💕
He has birthday, and I sent him a gift. Wanted to text tomorrow for his birthday. I don't want to overtext, so maybe I should keep calm today and text tomorrow? What do you think?
You're welcome, luv. This is such a tough situation. On his birthday, I think it would be all right to text him and wish him a happy birthday. But I would keep it brief and casual - nothing over the top emotional.
Maybe just something like "Hey, hope you have a good birthday." You sent the gift already so he knows you were thinking of him. Sending a simple text on the actual day seems polite.
I'd caution against getting into a long conversation though. Don't want to reopen everything when you're both supposed to be moving on. Just send the birthday wish and leave it at that for now. Let him respond how he wants to, but then don't feel like you need to keep replying a bunch.
Sending that one text shows you can be mature about this while still maintaining your boundaries. But keep it short and don't get sucked back into more confusion. Stay strong and focus on you. You got this! Let me know if you need any other advice.
The guy is lost, he's trying to find what he is missing out on if anything. He might be a great partner if he can get over this but I don't think you should wait around for the outcome.
But I'm really sorry this happened to you, since I can only imagine the levels of not feeling good enough thats causing. Just know this is mostly inexperience on his part, its not your fault.