Why did my ex only look at my bad qualities instead of my good ones?

[Anonymous]

😞

[Craftsman]

Most of the time those who look at bad qualities in others are insecure in their own qualities.
The ones who think they don't measure up will often tear others down so they look better. At least to themselves. Many if not most times, they are fooling only themselves. Others catch on sooner or later.

[OtterMan68]

good thing he's your ex!

[Asker]

Too bad. I finally thought I didn't have to look anymore. 😞 and I could have sworn we were compatible in many ways! Plus, I was sorta attracted to him physically lol. But I'm smart enough to know that looks aren't everything, but character and what's inside was more important. But damn, the inside stunk too? ! Lol.

[linka_pat307]

Ofcourse when things get bad , we always look for some thing bad not good ones and those who break up while saying good things aren't being honest

[molonski2]

Because ' bad is vital ' if you can't live with the negatives you can forget the positives , that's why.

[Asker]

1. People can change and improve.
2. Love inspires people to do better, usually, especially if it's real love.
3. Bad can be subjective yes, but..
4. Was HE perfect? Lol.
5. In the case of real love, you cannot have judgement and criticism really. You just can't. Especially if you want the relationship to work or you care about the person.

6. Selfishness is not a good trait to infuse into a relationship. You're supposed to think about your partner's needs/wants as well, not just your own.

[molonski2]

Highly unlikely , those with bad traits rarely change , they head back to their common denominator roots , always important to focus on the bad , never assume it will change , start there and say " Is this a deal breaker " ( family , attitude , employment , education , actions -etc ) if the answer is YES , move on , simple , wise choice.

[Asker]

"Highly unlikely" Says who exactly. You're not even going to give people a change to improve themselves? ! I REally? ! Also, like I said, love motivates people to do better. It's SUPPOSED to normally.

Looking at the bad, yes it's a good thing to do but I think people break up WAY too easily. I felt like I was walking on eggshells and being tested then. That is NOT love! Love is ACCEPTING your partner for who they are, save for abuse!

[molonski2]

Sorry , I've expressed exactly what all are thinking , good luck with your life.
Its always good to look at someone's worst traits , and I'm afraid you have some problems.
Good luck.
When you do job interviews you always say " Shelly , nice resume , some good points here , positive. What would you consider your bad personal traits? "
Again good luck , keep calm , it will help you. At present you only want to discuss what you believe is unfair , its not.

[Asker]

Well I believe that what you are saying ISN'T a fair thing. If you think about it, if all you're looking at are their bad traits, then why are you with them in the first place?

Also like I said, why are they the only ones that get to judge? ? ! As if they are perfect or better than you.

No on is perfect or better than another last time I checked.

Also, true love does NOT judge! Don't you agree? ! They ACCEPT whatever comes or what their partner is about! If you don't do that, then you have NO business being in a relationship! Or trying to find "true love"/ "real love"! People are going to AGE, get sick, get into an accident (if unfortunate or careless enough), become disabled, etc. There's also things people can never control like their skin color, age, whatever. HOW WOULD YOU LIKE IT IF YOU WERE JUDGED BY THOSE TYPES OF THINGS? !

And actually I just met up with an old friend a few days ago and it made feel good. He's the type of person that doesn't JUDGE people. Even though he friendzoned me, I am okay with that. At least I have a FRIEND! Friends ALSO shouldn't judge or look at just the negatives of someone!

[molonski2]

My point is clearly made , to know negative is VITAL !
End.
Thanks and good luck with your life.

[Asker]

Yes, but like I said, it shouldn't be someone's DECIDING point as if the other person never had any good and worthy qualities to begin with though. Too many people are too negative and judgmental just like my ex. Why even date me if all he saw were negatives like I said! I know you're not going to change your stance about things or be open minded to other points of view because you're a stubborn old person lol. But if you even understood ANYTHING I said, maybe then you'd agree with me. When it comes to dating, the negatives shouldn't be the only things being considered!

[molonski2]

Again , negatives must be first and last , some things you can live with , some you cannot.
Again , good luck to you.
ENOUGH.

[LiamJHayden]

Lots of people are like that.

[Asker]

How sad. Like they are more perfect or better than. And that's not love!