How to deal with past relationship memories when you're in a new relationship?

[Anonymous]

Hey,

im freshly into a new relationship, with a guy who is such a sweetheart and exciting to see the future with him.

However, some times, I struggle with my past relationship nostalgia. He was French, and I miss being in France, living together, preparing food for him to have it after home, taking care of him, experiencing stuff... I feel like I miss them. It's complicated. I really like this new guy and I know I just need to deal with memories and nostalgia. What do you suggest me to do?

I'll have a therapy session with my therapist soon, and going to tell her all of these. She suggested me to stay in gray area of dating - not rush, move slowly, get to know the person, not jump into a relationship. I follow that rule and have fun, get really good experience with this new guy, we just planned a trip to Sweden which feels good, but I feel like I would not have wanted to visit France with him. Do you think these emotions of nostalgia fade over time? I has been 6 months after breakup. I feel moved on, but it takes complex emotions since the relationship was long term.

This new guy also broke up with his ex same time, so we're kinda on the same page about not rushing, enjoying each other's company and stuff... But still, trying to not be blocked by old memories.

[Oliverlogan263]

Don't be so hard on yourself, luv! Memories from past relationships are totally normal, especially when things were serious. A few thoughts:

- Six months is still pretty fresh, so it's good you're being honest about the nostalgia with your therapist. They'll help you work through it.

- Maybe journal about the old memories - get them out of your head. Then you can focus more on creating new ones with this dude.

- Try doing new things with your guy, make your own "firsts" together. Over time those shared experiences will outweigh lookin' back.

- Communicate with him about what you're feeling too - I'm sure he can relate. Opening up will bring you closer and ease any worries.

- Comparing trips may not be super fair. Every connection is different. Focus more on how this one makes you feel in present moment.

- Be patient with yourself girl. Feelings from long relationships don't just flip off overnight. You'll get there with time and by lookin' ahead, not back.

You got this! The fact you care shows you're ready to make things work. You seem self-aware - keep pluggin' along. It'll all come together.

[McLlovin]

If you’re still having problems with getting over your previous relationship that means you jumped into a new one to early and should have healed first. since you’re already in a new one the only way to deal with that is to stay busy and not be idle and focus on creating new memories with your new relationship like going on more fun dates.

[Dutchgirl97]

All of those memories will be there- but don’t be hard on yourself. It was a lifestyle for a good part of your life. It takes time. It’s normal. But soon enough you will have new memories to form and think back on with him. I agree with the therapist. Good luck to you- you’re not alone. It’s happened to me and many other people! It will eventually pass

[rosemilk]

it seems like you still aren't over your ex which isn't fair to your new relationship. you need to get this sorted asap so this doesn't upset your current relationship or you need to explain that you still aren't sure if you're completely moved on from your previous relationship. he deserves to know, if he's looking for something serious

[boggboss]

Sounds like u have rushed into a new relationship without moving on from the past

[jahaims]

You should be over your last relationship before starting a new one

[In_Trance]

You didn't spend enough time alone and this will cost you in the long run