How do you stop being in love with someone?

Question

I think I feel in love with a guy, he turned out to be dating another woman. He told me he loved me and would never lie to me and that he was afraid of losing me and I told him he wouldn't because I truly thought that we'd be in each other's life forever, but then I asked him about a screenshot he sent me and he gas lit me into thinking I was crazy so I told him it was over. Months later he apologized and we kind of started talking and I though we might be able to be friends but then I found out that the entire time we started talking and everything he had a girlfriend and when I confronted him about it he said "it's not like what we have" and that she was just crazy and he couldn't get rid of her. I was so hurt I couldn't even cry about it. I've felt numb ever since; I've blocked him on everything, but some days I miss him so much it hurts and I won't call or text him but I still miss him so much. It just hurts.

coxoabean · Accepted Answer

If only we could push a button to stop all the pain. I have been fighting to get over my feelings for a guy who I talked to, after him and I stopped talking, he started dating a girl who was always there before he even talked to me, literally like 2 months after he ended things with me. He supposedly really liked me, and I'm sure he did, the way he acted. He told everyone he knew about me, wanted me to meet all his friends, bought my dream car, and his friends told me he really really liked me. Unfortunately his mom made him stop talking to me, even though he didn't want to. Then 4 months after him and I had stopped talking, he'd been dating his girlfriend for 2 months already and came to an event where he knew I was gonna be and brought his girl. That broke my heart souch making me feel like a worthless piece of garbage. I couldn't understand why he did this. He was looking at me, at this event with the same glowy, happy eyes he did when we first met, and his girlfriend was right there. He looked at me several times even though his girlfriend was there. But not once did I see him look at her that way. What was he doing? I asked myself so many times. I was so upset with him. His mom told me that if it weren't for her, he would still be with me at that moment. Well, he went back home ( to a whole other state) and asked his girlfriend to marry him. Literally 10 days after he was there looking at me with glowy eulyes. The way he did when we first met and were together. I was so mad. Because also too, before he got engaged I was following him still, and he was following me on social media, and he was always the first to watch my stories. Literally I uploaded my story then checked right away to see, and he'd already looked at it. This boy was doing this while He had a girlfriend. And then, not only that he would post similar things that I did. I was so hurt and now he's married to her, only 6 months after him and I stopped talking. I was confused and wondered how he could do that if he liked me so much, and literally got the car I told him I liked. It's been a yr since him and I stopped talking and I'm slowly healing and getting over him. I haven't gotten into any other relationship at all, because allowing yourself to heal is really the best thing you can do for yourself. If you get into a relationship while still in love with someone else, your only slapping a bandaid on your wound. And you need time to feel the pain. I know it sounds so terrible, and trust me it really is. You know how much I wanted to just talk to the other guys who were trying to talk to me? I wanted to soooo badly, but also knew I couldn't because I would only hurt them if I did. As I was still missing the other guy. It takes a lot of time and a lot of pain to heal, but in the end, you will be so happy, and feel so much better knowing you did such an amazing thing in staying strong. That guy you liked will see that I'm sure. What you want is to show that he won't affect you at all, his actions hurt you, but they will not affect you. Some things that helped me, were to unfollow him, and his girlfriend, write a list of the red flags I saw he had. That helped me so much. Then, hang around people who will make you happy and be there for you. Listen to happy music, not depressing ones, or ones that talk about you missing your ex and all that. I did listen to ones that talked about moving on, that helped. You could also try writing a list of your dream guy, and then that can help you for the future. I did that, and now, it has helped me avoid more pain. I am just getting to the point though to where I am ok, with starting a new relationship as I healed. Also, working out helped me a lot. It made me feel better! I hope you can get over him and feel better!

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Our mind is more powerful than we know.

The first step is to decide to not get involved with that person anymore. Better to keep distance so we need not to interact with that what could interfare our healing process.

Secondly diverting our time and attention to other person or other things works or hobbies so we don't have much time to overthink or miss.

Thirdly let time do it's work. Time gradually heals everything.

This way if we decide something our mind and brain start working over it as we want. And so it's very much possible to do ANYTHING.

Lynx122 · Accepted Answer

If I notice things are getting bad for me I just remove them from my life and move on. It sucks in the beginning but it sucks way more if you keep them around and keep feeling hopeful again and then you open yourself up to more pain and it's just a mess. Mostly it's the empty space in your life that is a problem but if you remove them other things will fill up that space soon enough and that will make it a lot easier to move on than if you keep hanging on to the past. The emotional pain will also fade away over time. We have feelings but we are also just living beings built to function and survive. If you give yourself the right environment and the right inputs from the outside world you will go back to functioning and living your everyday life. And from there you can keep going with your life and decide what you want to do next.

This is a very clinical cold and efficient way, maybe not everybody can do it this way but it does work. You have to decide if you're able to do this or if you need a different solution.

Ευδεμονια · Accepted Answer

Very very difficult question. Stop being in love with someone isn’t something you can rationally control.
I won’t judge you for loving someone who behave like that, I think love often makes us close eyes and even Reason can’t do anything for that.

He behave very incorrectly towards you and you did well to detach a bit, but I think you should move forward, meet friends, hang out… not staying here writing your pains. It won’t solve them. Try to distract a bit, or at least talk with your loved ones and try to do something good for yourself. This won’t be the final solution but it will help, since only time can make love disappear.

MrOracle · Answer

It's not your fault that he is a liar and a cheater. But I bet he's attractive - meaning that lots of girls likely find him attractive, right? You are young, and no one has ever told you the truth, but people who are attractive to a lot of people - men especially because many fewer men are considered very attractive by women than women are by men - tend to be selfish and self centered because everyone has always let them get away with it because they are attractive, and because they know they can easily replace you with any of a dozen other girls by tomorrow. Millions of girls fall into this same trap every day, because everyone wants a really attractive partner. But the really attractive ones usually make terrible partners.

The only way you can protect yourself from such men is to take things more slowly and do a better job of vetting every potential boyfriend UP FRONT, before you commit or do anything sexual with them, and you base your vetting on his morals, values, and life goals. No matter how you feel or how attractive he is, if he doesn't pass those tests (and virtually none of the really attractive ones will), then you end it and move on.

Most people refuse to do this, because it's work and because they don't WANT to exclude the really attractive ones, but if you don't, you will just get used and played.

No one else can do this for you - it's up to you to protect yourself and this is the best way to do so.

BadApple69 · Answer

When you fall off a horse you get right back on it…. Now what they don’t tell you is that sometimes it has to be a different horse. If the first horse was a bad horse you’ll keep falling off it.

This guy is a player. You don’t need a player in your life. Move on and see what else is out there.

TommyMountainFigure · Answer

Instead of focusing on all the good times.. Recall all the bad times and everything they did to upset, and hurt you. Write it all down. Read it through a couple of times and if you have a punch bag or something similar near by? keep punching and kicking it until you have no strength left!

A week of that and you'll be surprised how good you'll feel!

Miristheiss · Answer

Cut them out of your lives. Move on. Don't keep seeing them, interacting with them, getting updates on what is going on in their life. Just go no contact and meet new people. You will start getting interested and having feelings for new people.

If you keep seeing and talking to this old interest all the time it will be hard to get over them.

Chelsdope0 · Answer

Babe, ik that hurt feeling all too well. That love hurt is a bitch … but if he really wanted to be with you he would leave her…

Give yourself time to heal and move on… even if it takes you months to get over. I understand..

If you feel like it’s unbearable then please reach out to someone…. But go out and find someone who is faithful and chooses you first. ❤️🥹

SotiCoto · Answer

Like I said the last three times I saw this question asked: You simply decide that you're not in love with them any more.
If you're absolutely certain that it isn't an issue then the rest of your body will eventually accept that as truth and move on. Mind over matter.

exitseven · Answer

it is not something you can just do on command. It takes time but you will get over it. One time I got dumped in a really cruel and sudden way. I was devastated and thought that I would never get over it. Now I never think about it.

DishLady · Answer

He’s a dbag… isn’t that enough for you to tell yourself to step back? It would be like a giant ice bucket poured over my heart if that were me. I can’t have feelings of love for someone who blatantly lies and disrespects me…. Why stand for it?

edmwarrior · Answer

Dudes who get a lot of girls are often the worst because they let it get to their heads. Then their looks fade and they regret not settling down.

Most people distract themselves with hobbies and friends while trying to get over someone. That’s what I did. It’s a cope, but it will help time pass, and time heals all wounds they say.

dustybiker2 · Answer

We don't get to choose who we fall in love with. Nor when we fall out of it. Attraction is chemical.

thisAppIsGarbage · Answer

Whybwould you want to. They say pain is having love with nowhere to put it. Drop your ego. Keep loving them and putting it out there in the universe. If they don't return it, it's not your problem. Is returned love really a requisite? If it is you don't love them you just after them, and that's a sin. Another cause of your pain.

Dongie · Answer

Try hating him for a while. Forgive him then hate the ground he walks on. Worked for me on several and in time you lose the hate and get a big, WHEW, glad I dodged that bitch.

bobby_bush_eater · Answer

I know the feeling. The unfortunate answer is time. Time and other things in your life slowly taking over until it's just a memory. It's not easy...

WhitneySnow · Answer

Only time and talking to people who care about you will heal this

es20490446e · Answer

You are not in love with the guy, you are in love with your idea of how the guy should be like. Factually the guy is not dependable for a love relationship. Anything else is just your imagination.

Iron_Man · Answer

You can’t once you’re in love you’re in love but if he’s with somebody else eventually you can

Purpleronnie · Answer

What’s to love about this guy? I honestly don’t get it. He sounds like a cheater and a liar.

At3mis24 · Answer

If he gets drunk once, I will never let him approach me again, case closed.

Angie03 · Answer

Takes while depends on person and how long you’s in communication. best go no contact

FreyaRed · Answer

You convince yourself the person you love doesn't deserve being love by you.

Nikki1989 · Answer

True love never goes away, but you can put it on the back burner. It just takes time.

TheSpaceGnome · Answer

Stop wasting your time on cheaters over a delusion, you do not love him, you love your imaginary version of him, the real version is trash.

Whitedog1 · Answer

Love cannot be turned and off like a water 💧 spigot 🚰

sheikalana · Answer

You give it time and focus on other things.

Anonymous · Answer

Blocking him was the best thing to do. You will heal from this.

Clyde_123 · Answer

You stop thinking about him. Stay busy find new hobby. Find a new guy.

Awesomesauce2005 · Answer

Easy, they stop being in love with me as soon as i start.

jahaims · Answer

If you had self respect you wouldn't be able to love someone who is like that

laly520 · Answer

give it some time n focus on urself time heals

DreamLife7 · Answer

He don't love u. U have no choice🤣

Loner111 · Answer

Change your life routine

Makeushiver · Answer

Time heals all wounds and wounds all heels.

pethouse · Answer

You are in control of your own thoughts

Anonymous · Answer

No, anyone I've ever loved is still loved.

How do you stop being in love with someone?

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