How do you get over someone you really loved? You tried but couldn't, and it's been a long time since you separated?

Question

ohsheeT · Accepted Answer

First of all you have to understand what's really going on and then you have to accept it you have to acknowledge it and accept it..

This is going to sound crazy but think about it.

We have a soul and a spirit within us we also have an energy.

There are many times when we fall in love with somebody we fall in love with each other.
But there are times when our energy our true self are the two that fall in love..

There are moments in time where when you have broken up with somebody.

You can't sleep you can't eat you're sick to your stomach and day after day you start thinking about it you say what is going on this is not me and it's not you it is your energy your energy became one with his energy and your energy mourns his energy you have to acknowledge it and just accept it and let it go

That no matter what happens in our life it was meant to happen because there's a greater a bigger plan you have to understand your energy and who you truly are to be able to do this stop wasting your time because that's what you're doing I'm sorry to be so rude about it but you have another journey this plan for you and you're going to miss out on it if you do not get it together and accept it and move on understand your energy within and how powerful it is how powerful you are it doesn't mean you have to stop loving the person you just have to move on let It Go Love is Love love will never dissipate or go away until there's something else that takes its place allow that to happen

TommyMountainFigure · Accepted Answer

You get over it because you have to, for your own peace of mind!
I spend more time with family, go out with friends, play lots of loud music (Specifically, The Prodigy)
I usually forget to add this when asked, but I set myself a target of one week from the day it's over.
I refuse to allow myself to feel anything for them again after this date, and the whole week is a work in progress aimed to getting over her.. Usually it takes less than 2 or 3 days.

TheRealPepperPotts · Accepted Answer

Make yourself face the reality and the feelings. Take breaks, but process through the messages and delete them, one by one. Cry over the things that remind you of him and let them go, ceremonially if you have to. Have a bonfire and scatter the ashes. You are grieving and it's OK. Let yourself grieve the loss. Go to the places you shared together with a trusted friend or mentor and talk about how sad it makes you, or just sit and face the first time you went back alone.

Alternate your grieving with breaks and self-care. Have a gut-wrenching cry out, and then watch a good movie. Write an angry letter and burn it, and then go for a walk. Talk to a therapist to get it off your chest, and then meet a few friends to do something fun. Be kind to yourself around anniversaries and when special memories come up. You might be rummaging through your closet and find a pair of shoes you bought for a special night out together.

Having plans for the future is also very important. Set a goal, something like moving to another place, eating healthier or working out. Decide to move forward, and realize that moving forward doesn't mean not being sad as you do it. I don't like to deal with emotions because they are messy. But I also want to be a healthy person, so I have made myself go through the motions. I face the boxes. I throw away the ragged shirt. I cry, and then I let go. You can do the same.

From a widow. <3

DishLady · Accepted Answer

You just do what has to be done... Keep moving forward and ultimately this will be in your past.

Keyboardkat · Answer

That's a tough one. You know, the brain responds to the loss of a love relationship the same way it reacts to a death in the family. The pain is immense, and it requires that you go through a period of mourning and grieving before you can begin to heal. I've been there. It feels like you've lost a piece of yourself. You have to mourn the lost relationship and grieve over losing that person. This is not a process that can be rushed.

A big danger is that you will start dating again too soon. This is a natural tendency because you're trying to find someone "just like him" or "just like her" to fill the hole in your soul. The problem is that you're looking for, and will likely use, the new person as a band-aid. No one can be "exactly like" the person you lost. And we tear off band-aids when we're done with them, don't we? Meanwhile, this other person may have really fallen for you, and you can hurt someone nice. This is a very unfair thing to do to someone. I've seen this happen with others, and I myself was guilty of it over five decades ago, and believe me, I have always felt horrible about the pain that I caused someone, who might have been a keeper if I had waited until later and not dated her in a rush! I've sometimes wished I could find her so I could apologize and ask forgiveness, but I'm not sure, after all these years, that that would go over too well! So it's wise to wait until you're really ready before you start dating again. Work on your abs, take a course, learn a language, take up a musical instrument, join a club, take a trip (a great suggestion for someone in your condition), but don't date anyone until you've healed enough so that you're emotionally available to a new person.

You'll know when that happens. When that song no longer moves you to tears, when you can her his or her name without feeling a knife in the gut, when you can see him or her coming and not have to cross the street to avoid them, you'll know. I wish you the best!

RingOfFire · Answer

You have to get to that point where you ask yourself the question "What's the alternative?"

Are you going to spend the rest of your life pining away over something that can't be changed? Or are you going to move on to something that's going to make you happy?

You have to choose happiness if you want to find it.

_SilentWolf_ · Answer

From my perspective and opinion, healing a broken heart is possible with time, patience and self-compassion. Refocusing on the beauties of life, spending time with loved ones, and setting new goals for yourself are important steps in the healing process. Every pain will one day ease and be replaced by new hopes.

SotiCoto · Answer

I don't have that problem because I simply decide I'm over someone... et voila... I'm over them.
Or for ever so slightly more detail, I just convince myself that it is in the past and I know better now and don't need that any more... and then I internalise that knowledge and treat it as fact to a degree that my body has no room to question it... and has to accept it. And the entire process takes less than a minute.
Mind over matter.

Darkchild25 · Answer

I think a lot of people have gone through this. I know I have. A lot of good advice, but you gotta do what feels right for you.

Tell yourself you've done all you can. It takes two people to work on a relationship, and you're worthy of someones time and effort to make it work.

Keep yourself busy, take up new hobbies you'll find a new friend circle. Don't be afraid to approach a man as men have backed off now as most women don't want to be approached.

Blueeyes81 · Answer

But cutting out the little reminders. Most people prolong their agony by holding on to a part of what they lost. Contact being the most common, Social media or in real life. Eliminating them from your life, and time, really is the only way.

loveslongnails · Answer

I've never "not" gotten over someone I loved when it didn't work out. Talk about the biggest waste of energy in the universe, that's it; yearning for someone who doesn't want or love you back or want to be with you.

Anonymous · Answer

Find someone better than him and fall in love with him. You'll automatically forget your ex. Make sure the new guy is handsome guy so you can forget easily

Alex-Snow · Answer

The best bet is to maybe find someone else that cares about you and start a new relationship

exitseven · Answer

Captain Kirk said" there are a million things in this universe you can have and there are a million things you can't have. It's no fun facing that, but that's the way things are.”

patois · Answer

Who were they to you and how did you lose them?

Emmytexrex · Answer

You haven't gotten over him because you have not seeing anyone if you have then he will be your past

avery58 · Answer

Send them a message if you think it would be appropriate. I

Sevenpointfive · Answer

why are you featuring anonymous users questions? just use the AI users you created

jahaims · Answer

Go to therapy and figure out why you are emotionally immature

DreamLife7 · Answer

They don't love u back that should be enough. Get some self respect

sheikalana · Answer

How long are you talking about?

Anonymous · Answer

By accepting it's OVER.

How do you get over someone you really loved? You tried but couldn't, and it's been a long time since you separated?

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