What are your thoughts on Co-Parenting Apps?

[Anonymous]

I gave my fiancé an ultimatum. His ex wife is constantly begging him for money, that has nothing to do with their children. She goes out of her way and comes up with these false sob stories. My fiancé is a very good hearted nice person. He falls for it every time. She has taken advantage of him throughout their entire marriage, and still does. The last time she took it too far. She lied to him about being domestically abused so that he would send her money. This pissed me off, because I am a woman who has actually experienced domestic violence. I told him this was the last straw for me. I told him he needs to change his number. And inform her that they would only be speaking through a co-parenting app moving forward. I also told him if she declined, to file a petition to have it ordered by a judge. He initiated the conversation with her about the co-parenting app and told her she must stop asking him for money. She responded extremely immaturely. She immediately cursed him out about me, and said “their children will never live with me.” And how he would have to leave me, if he wants full custody of his children. She then insinuated that he touched her daughter during their marriage, after he brought up the co-parenting app. Which triggered me as well, because I was actually sexually assaulted as a child. I don’t believe her one bit. If my fiancé touched her daughter, why would she continue to share news about her daughter with him after their divorce. Why would she have not put him in jail period? She is just jealous because he upgraded with me. I am younger and look far more better than her. I am also stopping him sending her money, which is pissing her off. I am his first serious relationship since their divorce. It’s clear she’s just trying to be messy and do anything to sabotage our relationship. I however will not let that happen.

Updates

9 mo

The children currently live with my fiancés parents full time and only see the mother on weekends. This has been the arrangement since their divorce. In their divorce papers it states they have joint shared custody of both children, but states she has primary physical custody. However, the courts have no idea the children have been living with my finances parents all these years. They live a very fortunate life with his paren

Updates

9 mo

They live a very fortunate life with his parents. They have acres of land and both children even have their own horse. They are currently on vacation with the grandparents traveling across the US for the ENTIRE three months of summer. My fiancé is active duty military, and wants nothing more than to have his children back when he retires. What can my fiancé do to protect him and his children?

[Lowly_Grump]

You and your future husband have got a real doozy of an ex-wife there, my friend. She sounds about as pleasant as a skunk at a garden party, and her behavior is as welcome as a fart in a spacesuit.

Co-parenting apps, you say? Hmm, my thoughts are as clear as mud on a pig's trotter. It's like trying to herd cats, those apps! Meow-nificent idea in theory, but in practice, it's like trying to teach a rabbit to do math. It's just not going to happen, and everyone ends up with a headache.

This ex-wife has a tongue sharper than a serpent's tooth and a heart blacker than a pirate's booty box. She's bad news, like a pair of tighty-whities on a first date. Her accusations are as false as a politician's promise, and her behavior is as stable as a three-legged chair. She's trying to wriggle out of this situation like a worm on a hot sidewalk, and it's not on. Not on at all!

You and your fiancé are well rid of her, and good on you for standing your ground. Don't let that old bag of wind and trickery blow you off course. You're in the right here, and she's about as wrong as a donkey in a tuxedo. Keep those boundaries firm, like a castle's drawbridge, and don't let her cross it unless she plays by the rules. She's not the boss of you, and her attempts to wriggle free of the consequences are as futile as a fish on a bicycle.

So, my friend, stay strong, and remember, you're dealing with someone whose brain is as useful as a screen door on a submarine. She's all foam and no beer, that one.

[Asker]

Oh my lord this may be the funniest thing I’ve ever read in my life. 😭 Thank you for the good laugh! Sending much light and love your way.🤍

[Asker]

And I thought I could read ! This is the best read I’ve ever heard on someone. 😭😭

[DJB72]

If she has primary custody awarded by the court and the children are not with her because she's left them with your fiance's family then if he has evidence of it he should petition the court to have custody stripped from her, as well as any child maintenance repaid for the time she supposedly had them in her care and they were actually with his family.

And courts tend to frown on child abandonment. Cut direct contact and get his lawyer to petition the court before she can do anything citing abandonment, her claims that her current partner is abusive as a reason they wouldn't be safe in her home if custody were to be returned to her and filing a defamation claim against her for false and unsubstantiated claims against your fiancé.

Maybe get married sooner rather than waiting and the stability of a marriage home over a home with an abusive boyfriend to their mother all counts in your favour.

[Asker]

Thank You! This is the most logical and most informative response yet! I am going to share this with him. If he does not take action, that’s on him. He keeps saying all he wants to do is retire and have full custody of his boys. Yet, is not even fighting hard enough. He is simply letting his ex control and sabotage his life. It’s only a matter of time before she does the same to his children, if he lets her win this battle. He wants to avoid court so bad, yet doesn’t realize that is not optional in his situation. He will have to live with the consequences if he doesn’t. I can’t say I’ll stick around for the ride to witness…

[DJB72]

He needs to get the first salvo in. If he doesn't pin an abusive environment to her first and she makes one false and completely unproven accusation at him it'll take years for him to get anything but short, supervised visits. The legal system won't work in his favour.

He needs to demonstrate every time she's got extra cash from him, ideally if she sent anything by text asking for it included as evidence.

I hope it works out for you both

[Asker]

Thank You. I agree with everything you’re saying. He doesn’t seem to want to take action. So at this point, I am going to begin dusting my feet from him.

[kylee2437]

You are inserting yourself way too much in a situation that will never ever be about you. The man has kids with someone. He has a right to say no, however he is indeed obligated to give X amount of money to the mother that is supporting his children.

[Asker]

Correction. He is obligated to give money for his CHILDREN and parents who are are fully supporting their children. He is not obligated to give money to his ex wife who barely supports his children. Did you not read the entire text thread? The children do not live with her full time. They live with his parents full time because my fiancé is active duty military. She only sees them on the weekends. She is a grown ass woman and should be able to provide for herself. She is also in a relationship herself. She should not be begging her ex husband for money, that is pathetic. If it were about the kids I wouldn’t care.

[Asker]

They also divorced because she got strung out on drugs and cheated on him.

[kylee2437]

@asker you are between the ages of 18-24 years old, which is very telling of how ridiculously so you are imputing yourself into a situation that again will never be about you. Grown women would never ever ever ever go out of their way to be in two adults business that decided to have children. Best thing you can do is just keep out of it.

[Asker]

Lol you sound like a bitter baby mama. If she were an actual good mother who took care of her children, I wouldn’t mind my fiancé helping her out from time to time. Her calling my fiancé at inappropriate times begging for money, interferes with our relationship. Money for drugs and other bs that has nothing to do with their kids. So I actually do have every right to step in. I’m not talking to her directly or making suggestions about their children. So I’m not sure how I’m “inserting myself too much.” My fiancé and I will however do whatever needs to be done to make sure she is not constantly interfering in our relationship. Good Day ☺️

[kylee2437]

@asker I have no kids sweetheart. Your man has all the power to do what he feels is correct. You shouldn’t need to research ways for him on how to control his situation better since he doesn’t have enough of a backbone to do it on his own. Most grown woman would tell him, get a back bone or this relationship isn’t going to work, end of story.

[Asker]

That is the moral of this story lol. Which is why I gave him an ultimatum. But anywho, you seem a bit illiterate and have offered no valuable advice. So goodbye 😂☺️

[Asker]

Don’t waste your time responding because you are now irrelevant to this conversation. I won’t waste anymore energy speaking with you.

[kylee2437]

@asker id say my advice is pretty solid considering I’ll never throw my youth away trying to court how a man handles his dirty work with another woman lol you are wasting your time. Their situation is a mess and your boyfriend allowed you to be apart of that.

[Serkee]

She's his fiance, which means those kids are going to be her step kids. This is 100% her business, and if his ex-wife is going to try and take their kids away, it will not only be her right, it will be her DUTY as his wife to get involved and help fight for them. His business is her business, that's what being married means.

[kylee2437]

@Serkee until married, she’s a girlfriend and if he was ever going to be a good husband, he wouldn’t need his fiance to problem solve something that is not hers to solve. If the mother is an active drug addict, she holds really no weight on being able to take the kids. This really has to do with her fiance not knowing how to say no to his ex wife.

[Serkee]

Yes, that's an issue of his. As his partner, it's her business to help him with those issues. And no, she's not just his girlfriend, she's his fiance. You don't seem to know what that means. They're committed to each other, which means their problems are each other's problems. They don't need to wait for a signed piece of paper for that.

[kylee2437]

@Serkee being a fiance holds no weight on paper. The fact that he has kids with this other woman holds more weight on paper. And any guy that is designed to be a good husband would know when to say no to his ex wife. She said it’s directly affecting their relationship and the reason why it’s affecting their relationship is because her husband has no back bone.

[kylee2437]

Her fiance has no back bone**

[Serkee]

Yes, I agree with everything you said there. He has problems. But like I said, she's not out of line by inserting herself in those problems. He's her man. Yes, he needs to grow a backbone, that's a serious flaw of his. She's with him despite that flaw, and it's something that she's helping him improve by making him stand up to his ex wife. And yes, being his fiance doesn't mean as much on paper as being his wife, but it DOES hold weight in family court. But regardless, paperwork only matters in court, not in personal relationships. She doesn't need paperwork to be involved in her man's life, or to involve herself in his problems, especially when they directly affect her, like they do here. The only time she would be out of line in doing so is if he told her not to.

[kylee2437]

@Serkee except she already gave him the best advice which is a co parenting app. The fact that she has to dig deeper because her man can’t simply grow up is problematic.

[Serkee]

But she never said she has to dig deeper. After she said she gave him that advice, she only complained about his ex-wife more, and described the living situation of his kids.

[Asker]

@Serkee Thank you for being one of the people with actual sense on this thread. Haha

[Anonymous]

Anger. A few weeks ago my wife had met a new group of friends at community college, they were very feminist. She'd been acting up since then. Anyway I'd come home from a long day of work and was going through out finances because I had to file our taxes soon and asked her if she could make me a sandwich and bring me a beer, she gave me a smart mouth answer while sitting playing with her tablet and I lost my temper with her and shouted at her, she stood up defiant and took a swing at me but I grabbed her strike and forcefully put her across my knee and pulled her yoga pants and thong down and beat her ass with her tablet breaking it. My blood was pumping and the sight of her bare ass and her struggling got me harder than oak so I bent her forcibly over the coach and entered her, she was wetter than October. I pumped my frustrations out on her and she quickly had a squirting orgasm which never happened before. Shocked and confused she made me that sandwich and fetched me a beer. I didn't notice but she slipped out with our 3 month old child and ran to her parents house. Her parents took her and she explained what happened. Her mother slapped her and her father scolded her for her behaviour, they'd noticed her disrespect towards me and her getting lazy around the home and said she would have to go home to me the next day. The next day we all met up at church and it was clear she could not sit down on the wooden pews comfortably and after a Sunday roast at her parents she came home with me and her parents praised me for taking their daughter in hand. When she came home I had to buy her a new tablet as I broke it spanking her.

Weirdly she now respects me and at times fears me. I never have to ask twice for a sandwich and there's always dinner made and the home is always clean.

She has since then asked me to spank her again or tempted me with bad behaviour, she even bought a paddle to spank her with and likes her hair pulled

[DishLady]

Ok ok, so a few questions bc despite the long scrolling paragraph provided details are missing…
1. Was the ex his ex wife? Does he owe her alimony?


2. If alimony payments aren’t officially set up, has he requested a legal mediator in family court to set up alimony payments?


Personally when I walked away from my ex I wanted nothing to do with him and was happy to earn my way and do everything without any financial support from him at all. Not all women are able to do this, so things like alimony are in place. (In many many more modern divorces I’ve seen the guy get alimony from his ex-wife….)


So, see if you can briefly shed some light on those two questions. Also… unless you’ve been with the guy for a while, this matter falls under the category “none of your business” and you just need to step back and let him make his own mess.

[Asker]

Yes, she is his ex wife and they have two boys together. No, he does not owe her any alimony.

I respect woman like you, I am the same way. I moved out at age 16 and have been fully independent every since. I worked three jobs all while in school full time prior to meeting my finances. There is no excuses for her and I don’t feel sorry for her one bit. She is almost 40 years old, she should be more established by now. We are planning a future together and he wants me to be a step mother, so this is absolutely my business. Their children will live with us full time once my fiancé retires. My fiancé says all the time how I make a better mother than she could ever be. He says she doesn’t have a nurturing bone in her body. She will just feed the kids junk and fast food, never a home cooked meal.
I don’t care at all about him spending money when it comes to his children. That is his obligation. I wouldn’t even care about him occasionally helping the mother if she wasn’t such a terrible woman. They divorced because she cheated on him and got strung out on drugs. She continues to tear him down, and then beg for money. Whenever he doesn’t send money, she threatens to take their children from him.

[SweetJoyGirl]

Ahmmm…yet another reason to add to why I can’t date a single dad. That just sounds so messy. Wtf 😭

Tbh though, you can’t make it about you. I do understand you are trying to help him, and settle down with him. His ex-wife just screams immature.
I don't know man…listen to @DishLady. She seems to know what she is talking about.

All I can say is wtf…😭

[DishLady]

Thanks, @SweetJoyGirl. I lived through divorce-from-hell, so unfortunately I know about every freaking form and procedure. :(

Dating single dads isn't bad in and of itself, tbh. You just have to make sure you've picked a guy who knows how to handle his emotional baggage... who doesn't let it spill over onto you. (Like projecting his past negative experiences with his ex on you.)

You're right, the ex wife seems like such a treat... 😂

[SweetJoyGirl]

@DishLady I am sorry you went through that. The whole divorce process is not easy at all! 💜

Oh, yes! That makes sense. I guess if the guy knew had to handle his situation, it would be a lot easier. 🤔

Hahahaha 😂😂😂

[Asker]

I was the same way for a long time. Until the first man I dated with a child lied to me about having one. LOL. So after that things changed. I also prefer dating older men, so I have come to just accept that most of them will have a child or two. I have had better experiences with men who are fathers. However, @dishlady is entirely right. It can only work if the man has a bag bone and knows how to handle his baggage accordingly.

[Asker]

*back

[DishLady]

(Nodding in agreement.) Stay strong, girl. You'll be ok.

[SweetJoyGirl]

Hmmmm…yes, perhaps so. I may reevaluate my thought on single fathers. 🤔

[SweetJoyGirl]

@ anon
I hope things work out for you, tho! 💜

[Serkee]

You should have him start documenting all the ridiculous stuff she says and does. Have him keep a journal and write it all down, along with the date and time. That stuff can be used in family court in custody battles, and can really help his case if she tries to take his kids away.

[Asker]

That is a good idea, I will tell him to do that. This is why I think it would be best that all their communication be done through the co-parenting app moving forward. The app records and keeps record of all phone calls and text messages. It overall offers a great all- in- one- coparenting tool that will help ease and streamline communication between divorced parents. It keeps all documents and files in one organized place. So I find it odd that she has an issue with this.

[Radiate143]

My friend is an a horrible custody thing with a really absuove ex. His mom and new woman are helping him lie about everything and file court douments. Her lawyer says do EVERYTHING on the app. So I guess for documentation it's important.

[KrakenAttackin]

Here is the reality. You will be stuck with this woman just as he is stuck with her. He must be a good man tonight so hard for his kids, so factor that in. Imagine if he just cut ties with his kids and ex? Would you want a man who just walks away from his commitments?

[Asker]

Yes, he is a good man. Which is why I’m trying to fight for him, but I’m honestly reaching my breaking brim. I would never ask him to cut ties with his children. I am even fine with them living with us once he retires. The mother however needs to be put in her place. He doesn’t seem capable of doing that, and it is turning me off from him. This has become a huge turn off. I think the co-parenting app would solve all our problems. If he is not willing to do that. I am done he keeps trying to avoid court. However the reality is, that is what it’s going to come down to. Their divorce papers state they have joint shared physical custody. However it lists the mother to have primary physical custody. Yet, the courts have no idea bout her previous drug addiction. That she went to rehab, and the kids have been living with my finances parents every since. They only see the mother on weekends. My fiancé is active duty military and that is the only reason they don’t currently live with him. I guess my fiancé and her made some agreement prior to me, that she would allow him to have full custody without going back to court. I think he must be stupid to think she’s going to do that. He needs to go to court and have everything on paper if he wants full custody of his children. Otherwise I just foresee more drama in the future, and her continuing to use the children as a pawn to beg for money.

[KrakenAttackin]

You are feeling a small amount of what men have been enduring. The mother holds all the cards no matter how fucked up she is. She can and will use the children as a weapon and tool for exploitation and revenge.

You giving him an ultimatum will end up with you on the curb as he has enough stress already. There is no easy fix for the ex.

[Asker]

I hate bitter baby mamas and daddies. They seriously need to get a life of their own. Miserable Betty’s. Won’t be me. It would be his loss. I would leave him before he ever got the opportunity to kick me to the curb. Better to go through it with someone then let your ex wife control your life. He will be miserable if I leave and will never find another woman like me. Any other woman he finds won’t put up with ts either, unless she is seriously flawed.

[Anonymous]

You are both fighting over the same resource. To you she's a threat to your income but he needs to cooperate with her for his children. I would think that co parenting app is mostly for people that cannot cooperate or communicate which may be the case here ultimately if all she is doing is being manipulative and bullying.
Sounds like some ground rules enforced by court are going to be needed. Perhaps after the court has determined her lies are just that.

[Asker]

Yes, he is a good man. Which is why I’m trying to fight for him, but I’m honestly reaching my breaking brim. I would never ask him to cut ties with his children. I am even fine with them living with us once he retires. The mother however needs to be put in her place. He doesn’t seem capable of doing that, and it is turning me off from him. This has become a huge turn off. I think the co-parenting app would solve all our problems. If he is not willing to do that. I am done he keeps trying to avoid court. However the reality is, that is what it’s going to come down to. Their divorce papers state they have joint shared physical custody. However it lists the mother to have primary physical custody. Yet, the courts have no idea bout her previous drug addiction. That she went to rehab, and the kids have been living with my finances parents every since. They only see the mother on weekends. My fiancé is active duty military and that is the only reason they don’t currently live with him. I guess my fiancé and her made some agreement prior to me, that she would allow him to have full custody without going back to court. I think he must be stupid to think she’s going to do that. He needs to go to court and have everything on paper if he wants full custody of his children. Otherwise I just foresee more drama in the future, and her continuing to use the children as a pawn to beg for money.

[HelpfulWoman]

was going so well until your own red flags came out.

[Asker]

Which are?

[Anonymous]

had no idea there was such an app for that. but honestly, i feel like he's not over her... I don't know anyone who is engaged that would still act like this towards their ex...

[MacDaddyRico]

She sounds like a greedy narcissist... consult a lawyer

[Asker]

She absolutely is, I told him to do the same. He complains that he doesn’t have the money to go back to court.

[strateguy632]

they seem an improvement

[Asker]

I don’t understand what you are saying.

[jahaims]

You are engaged to a moron

[Asker]

I’m starting to think so too. What makes you say that?

[MikeTheBartender]

I have a vasectomy. No concerns for me.

[DreamLife7]

Mind your business you're not even a mom hush