What do you think about "helicopter parenting"?

[AviatorTom]

"Helicopter parenting" is where the parents do just about everything for their children, rather than teaching and encouraging them to do things on their own, for example:

You can try this with all sorts of simple, everyday actions:

Waking up: Have them set their own alarm.
Getting dressed: Let them pick their own outfit.
Breakfast/lunch/dinner: Give them simple tasks like stirring the pancake batter, cleaning their lunchbox and setting the table.
Getting their backpack ready: Have them run through a list of what they need to bring that day.
Making plans: Let them come up with weekend or after school activities.
Checking homework: It’s okay if they don’t get 100% of the answers correct. Let them learn from the mistakes.

This article below is an example of a parent who raised 3 daughters, and they turned out to be 2 CEOs and a doctor. Pretty successful, most would say.

Successful Parenting

What do you think? Were your parents "helicopters" or did you do many things on your own?

If you are a parent, what is your style?

[Anonymous]

I actually grew up with a helicopter parent and it was my mom. My dad was the type to put you down and say you can't do anything and he's better than you at everything. My mom is still being a helicopter parent for me even at 28.

It sucks growing up like that when I look back. It's also suffocating and annoying. I remember when I was going to sign up for graduate school I remember she told me she would do it for me. I snapped at her because I felt like man just let me do one freaking thing by myself.

She would do literally everything for me. When I needed to make a doctor's appointment for something and I talked to my mom about whats bothering me and she used to just set up the appointment for me before asking. But I had multiple talks with her to not do that. Now all she does is offer calling for me or doing something for me. I always tell her no thanks. She gets all pouty about it.

I always tell her she's not going to live on this planet forever and i need to learn how to do it. I sadly barely know how to survive on my own. I always thought my husband would have to teach me stuff if he doesn't mind because my parents literally didn't teach me anything. My husband would have to be the leader and make most of the important decisions since I don't even know what the smart route would be for most every day situations. It's embarrassing and I'm trying to learn now.

Though I always find myself falling back into old habits by asking her to do stuff for me. Of course my mom loves helping me whenever she can she just wants to be needed I think. I appreciate her kindness and I'm not trying to be a douche or anything when i try to set boundaries with her. But sadly I have to teach myself things I should have learned years ago and I'm almost 30 😯😫😔 it's embarrassing.

[Opinion Owner]

Thank you for selecting my opinion :)

[Bethany22]

The only one on that list my mother did was go through my homework with me. It was really stressful. Her rational was that it didn't seem fair that kids who didn't have helicopter parents got lesser grades than kids of helicopter parents. I don't know about you, but the underlying message in that statement is still really undermining the child's own ability to be better than their peers without the help of their parent of superior intelligence. I mean, what made her so sure that the fact that she waltzed in and saved the day was the reason why I got a good mark? I remember one time she told me that I couldn't repeat my thesis statement word for word in my concluding paragraph of my essay, and I wound up losing points for following that 'advice'!

[DryGermanGuy]

For me it was completely the opposite, as it was with all friends, neighbors and classmates. I hope this silly parenting approach stays in the United States, if anything. A 12 year old in Europe has more knowledge, self-dependence and freedom than a 17 year old in the United States. When a friend of mine had his American cousin visiting (both were 18), the poor schmuck did know nothing about nothing - his whole life his parents made every decision for him. 🙄

[OlderAndWiser]

My mother was a partial helicopter parent and my father was present but a non-participant. Helicopter parents are motivated to make themselves feel essential to their children, so they are being selfish. Good parents shield their kids from the harsh reality of life up to about age 6, and then they start preparing kids to deal with the world on their own.

[SaoirseS]

My parents were the opposite. They took the “I’m only going to show you how to do this once” approach - both at home and while being a family business slave. I was taught to do things for myself, be independent. It paid off.

[Anonymous]

I don't think it is as bad as people make it out to be. It's better than the parent physically hitting their kids and then using emotional manipulation to comfort them and make them feel like they actually care about them.

Life is much harder than back in simple times, so they need more help than before. The teen suicide and overdose rate is skyrocketing and the old tough love method doesn't work anymore.

[Bethany22]

what do you mean by emotional manipulation?

[Opinion Owner]

They hit them and then tell them it's over and its okay they love them. They hit them and then tell them it's over and they don't need to worry anymore. Its emotional abuse and physical abuse.

[USLegionary]

I though helicopter parenting was always being around hovering needlessly so they've no privacy or freedom. A girl I dated her mom used to come and sit at a different table from us or behind us at the movies and so on.

[Andres77]

its hard to let go of ur kids, letting go of the bicycle seat, so to speak. but they have to learn how to be responsible and do adult tasks if they want adult rewards. it's a balance, calls for tough love.

[exitseven]

My parents were pretty much hands off I think I pretty much raised myself. I tried to provide everything my kids needed to succeed but I left the rest up to them.

[FilmGuy93]

There's a middle ground to be found. Some parental involvement, direction, support is essential. But you can't go overboard. You gotta find the sweet spot for each kid.

[Aiko_E_Lara]

They are doing more harm to their children than they think they're protecting them. It's basically a form of child abuse

[Fireguy17]

They are not doing their kids any favors by doing that.
They are raising kids that will not be able to function on their own, so we will just end up with more screwed up kids.

[captain_voidwalker]

I think this is how we get an entire generation accusing trump of bieng a nazi whilst voting for the political party that if you open a history book is behaving like the actual nazi's

[Agape93]

It makes weak children.

[AsaKyo]

Not good, not good indeed

[EaterPeter]

Just keep hovering over their kid

[EaterPeter]

Thanks for like!

[EaterPeter]

I've got one in the house.

[Nominal]

Disgusting.

[34r3xeberia]

I dont know