What do you think of my parenting approach?

[Anonymous]

I'm still learning and it's likely I'll make some mistakes (like any human) along the way but I'll continue improving.

- My approach places importance on my son's cognitive process, communication, developmental/social skills, and emotions.

- I don't want him hooked on phones or TV screens for hours as distraction. Those can be detrimental towards a child's development. No cell phone for him until he's much, much older.

- No junk food nor desserts. I prefer him to like his fruits, homemade meals and vegetables instead of getting addicted with chocolate bars.

- I like fitting several hats; not just a mother placing boundaries but also his mentor, guide and best friend. That way he can trust me. He shouldn't ever fear his own mother.

- I won't force religion on him as neither my husband nor me are religious. As non-believers, we would just teach him the natural process of life, physics and the law of gravity. If he decides to acquire religious views, that's his choice.

- Respect is reciprocal and is isn't freely given; it's earned and provided by examples.

- I don't want a sophisticated, obedient little person that complies or apologizes out of fear of punishment. That's not genuine. I hate traditional, authoritarian methods. I was actually raised that way and grew up hating it.

- I provide unconditional love. This means I will love him till my last breath. I don't have to support nor agree with his decisions he makes later on when he gets older but won't stop loving him no matter what.

- I would like him to have a social life and do hobbies he likes. Everything isn't about just school, studying and getting good grades. Honestly getting good grades isn't a skill nor talent at all.

As a first time mother wanting to provide my son a better upbringing, I would like to think my son would likely be free of drama. If he develops a drama of something else, at least it'll be mild in comparing to my dramas. What do you think of my approach?

[slatyb]

Read about natural and logical consequences. Talk to him in real words. Read to him. Don't yell, that never helps.

[Asker]

Do you know of any good book that talks about that? I agree that yelling never helps. I've figured out for the longest that whenever parents used to punish and/or yell it was always done in anger and frustration. That already defeats the purpose of correcting and that's not discipline; never was.
I fail to understand how was that correcting and teaching you manners? Supposedly punishment is only about avoiding doing a behavior out of fear; unrelated to teaching you manners like saying Thank you, greeting the teachers, when to say sorry, how to help out at home, etc.

[slatyb]

It's pretty simple -- you model the behavior, and show them the same kindness. Instead of telling them what they are doing wrong, just tell them how we greet people. There are multiple books, I can't recommend a specific one.

[exitseven]

You have lofty goals. Everything you want todo makes perfect sense but putting it all in action will not be easy.

[Asker]

yeah it'll be a challenge putting all that into practice but with lots of dedication and patience it can be done.

[exitseven]

Thanks for the MHO😎

[beefcakebradybatson]

Think you'll be a GREAT mother, AnonymousLass !!!

[Asker]

Thank you.

[Anonymous]

It sounds pretty good

[Asker]

yeah I want a better upbringing for my son, a lot better than my own

[Opinion Owner]

You’re doing the right thing