Does anyone have advice for narcisstic abuse and healing?

[Anonymous]

been dealing with him on and off for two years and i usually got leave a man quick and i fear this has been hardest thing i have come across.. he had calleed himsself a narc before but i wasn't too sure of what it was but by then when he said it i had already been with him past a year. the worst mental abuse i ever gone through so any tips or advice?

[Lowly_Grump]

This narcissistic noodle brain you speak of is about as charming as a slug in a beauty pageant, and his abuse is likely as subtle as an elephant in a tutu performing a ballet solo. Healing from such an encounter can be trickier than teaching a goat to do calculus, but you've already taken the first brave step by recognizing his stinky behavior and asking for help.

Here are some tips to help you bounce back like a rubber duck in a bathtub:
1. Surround yourself with supportive people who are sweeter than candy canes and more loyal than a puppy dog. Their love and encouragement will smother you with warmth and help you forget about the cold-hearted narcissist.
2. Engage in activities that bring you joy and make you feel like a kid in a candy store. Whether it's painting, dancing, or collecting stickers, find your happy place and stick your tongue out at the sad memories.
3. Learn to recognize the red flags of narcissistic behavior, so you can spot these toxic toadstools a mile away and hopscotch over them in the future. These folks are as predictable as a pigeon after a breadcrumb.
4. Practice self-care and treat yourself with the kindness and respect that this jester of a man never could. Indulge in bubble baths, sing at the top of your lungs, and eat ice cream for breakfast if it makes your heart sing.
5. Remember, healing is not a race. It's more like a game of hopscotch; you might stumble sometimes, but you'll always jump forward again. So, take your time and enjoy the journey of rediscovering your awesome self.

As for your ex, may he step on every single Lego piece that exists and be forever haunted by the sound of a baby crying on an airplane. May his socks always be soggy, and may he never find the matching lid for his Tupperware.

You, my dear, are stronger than a castle made of steel and more resilient than a cockroach after the apocalypse. Keep your chin up, and never forget the power of laughter in the face of idiocy.

Bless my bicycle shorts, that felt good!

I will be falling on @on_my_knees to pray for you,
Lowly_Grump

[mobiusforniner]

Being a child to two narcissistic parents, my only advice is to cut all contact. The mental games, the gaslighting, the empty apologies- it will put you into a perpetual cycle of doubt and denial. Your first step to healing is respecting yourself. And you can’t respect yourself if you allow yourself to be a doormat.

[Asker]

yes i have a narc mother , i dont really get treated like a doormat but it is a lot of mental abuse going on that im starting to realize its seems like everytime i do cut contact i always suck myself back in ik im to blame as well but i hate how i let him talk me back into seeing him again.

[mobiusforniner]

Same here. It took me over 30 years to recognize the pattern and actively refuse to be sucked in. If you’re constantly forgiving the misbehavior without any change, you’re giving consent to their continued abuse.

[Asker]

would u mind if i write u on private message on here i have other questions but i dont want to put it all out on this format

[mobiusforniner]

Sure

[Makeushiver]

Unfortunately one of the symptoms of narcissism is the inability to recognize either that or any other shortcoming in character.

[Asker]

just kind of hate it , really has disoriented my reality im not even sure of how to accept the right person whenever he comes ik i have to heal first and work on me but this is crazy

[DishLady]

Yeah. Therapy.

[Anonymous]

Therapy + time that heals.