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My friends (25/f) boyfriend (26/m) of 10 months sent this text to her today. They had a good relationship, but job stress seems to have gotten to him. He’s not told her anything about his work or any problems and they barely see each other as is because he’s always going out.
“Hey, I know this is out of the blue but I was thinking we should take a break. It has nothing to do with you. You’re great and did nothing wrong. My life is just so hectic and I’m always tired 24/7 from work and stress. You’re literally the perfect girl but I just can’t right now. I tried to make it through the academy and didn’t think it would be like this. I don’t want to stop talking and I still want to be friends. I just hope you understand the place I’m in right now and don’t want you to take it personally or think you did anything wrong. I don’t want to drag you along with me and all the stuff going on in my life. You don’t deserve that and you should be happy. Once I’m done in the academy and I get into my job a little we can always reevaluate how things are. I’m sorry I just can’t right now”
Guys, do you think this is coming from a sincere place? He wouldn’t even talk to her on the phone when she called him after he sent it. How should she respond?
“Hey, I know this is out of the blue but I was thinking we should take a break. It has nothing to do with you. You’re great and did nothing wrong. My life is just so hectic and I’m always tired 24/7 from work and stress. You’re literally the perfect girl but I just can’t right now. I tried to make it through the academy and didn’t think it would be like this. I don’t want to stop talking and I still want to be friends. I just hope you understand the place I’m in right now and don’t want you to take it personally or think you did anything wrong. I don’t want to drag you along with me and all the stuff going on in my life. You don’t deserve that and you should be happy. Once I’m done in the academy and I get into my job a little we can always reevaluate how things are. I’m sorry I just can’t right now”
Guys, do you think this is coming from a sincere place? He wouldn’t even talk to her on the phone when she called him after he sent it. How should she respond?
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
1Opinion
Any over-text breakup is ridiculous as a rule. If a guy needs a break or space or whatever he should speak up and say so in person -- or at least on a phone call. Text/VM are cowardly.
Hmm, that text gives me a weird vibe to be honest. It's good that he's acknowledging he wants to still be friends and that it's not about her, but the "I can't right now" and "take a break" part sounds kind of sketchy to me.
I can understand being super stressed and tired from a new job, but if he really cared about their relationship he would at least talk to her about it instead of just texting a breakup out of nowhere. And he can't even talk on the phone after? That's shady.
If it was really just about work stress, I don't think he'd be keeping so much from her already. Guys in general just suck at communication sometimes, so maybe he is being sincere, but my gut says there's more to this. I'd say she should respond something like "I care about you but all this feels really sudden and vague over text. Let me know if you want to talk in person when you have time."
That puts the ball in his court to explain himself better or prove he's being honest. I'd be worried he's losing interest and making excuses. She deserves an actual conversation after 10 months together, not just an "I can't right now" text dump. Proceed with caution I say.