I sent the guy I was seeing this bc he has been acting differently and not really being as attentive like before. I also felt like he was avoiding me and just pushed me away a lot. He told me he loved me a lot and then ghosted me for 3 days because he was “sick.” But he was actively on social media
Eh it was just right but why not just call them instead of writing a whole essay to say, "it's over" for the reasons you shared? That part I'm not fond of as it shows lack of mature communication skills on your part. Breaking up through text is disrespectful. 💀 then again if you tried to call multiple times and they always shoo'd you away or never picked up then I understand why you resorted to break up through text.
I hope in your future relationships you let your partner know directly if not already, that this behavior is a no-go for you.
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8 Reply
Asker
+1 y
That’s exactly why I was trying to call him bc who wants to type all of that and read it when I can just tell you over the phone? I tried to call and say my peace but he was just avoiding my phone calls so I had to do what I had to do… it was either I break up or he continue to ghost me and come back
And by the way, I did let him know directly about his actions. We talked about it in depth detail a week again and then he did it again after he said he would be honest. 2 strikes and you’re out.
Then good on you for sticking to your principles and respecting yourself to not put up with their BS. Since their behavior as described in your replies screams toxicity. It's like they thought you would be the type to give in to their wishy-washy behavior. Nahhh, us self respecting ladies don't tolerate that anymore!
I hope you don't take them back and move on to someone who will show consistent behavior that is on par with you. XO
His behavior was toxic! It’s a form of manipulation. I was upset a lot yesterday trying to pinpoint what I did but I understand that the issue wasn’t me. He has other stuff going on it seems.. I was ignoring this one red flag where he would talk about his ex girlfriend quite a lot “my ex and me did this” and one time he said for me to call my sister so all 3 of us could go hiking. He never even met my sister before but he insisted that we do that bc that’s what him and his ex used to do.. um I’m not her? I told him that was kind of odd and he was just soo overly nice and he was “too into me” if that makes sense and then one day we saw his ex’s sister in the restaurant and he started to act weird… maybe the ex came back and he didn’t know how to tell me? I mean if he wanted to break up with me for her, it would hurt me a lot but there’s not much invested as it was only 3 months for me. I have a strong urgency he will try to come back but I don’t think I want someone like that around… sorry for ranting but thanks for your answer!
Happy I could be an ear for you to get that off your chest. Since situations like that are VERY frustrating and I can empathize since I have experienced that too, from them bringing up the ex to wanting to include family members that they have never even spoken to before. Reading your replies made me feel like I was reading something written from my past self that experienced this very situation. So don't feel like you're alone in what you're experiencing OR shame yourself for not pulling out sooner or listening to the signs sooner. We like to give people the benefit of the doubt which is why is took you a bit of time to pull out. Thats alright. Shows your good heart.
You articulated yourself really well so don't stress about that either haha. I kind of cheat by having Grammarly installed on my browser for auto-correction.😆
Your next partner is going to be a great guy since they know you won't take any 'ish' from them.
A lot of guys have similar traits i have noticed. They don’t know how to control their emotions and communicate. Hell, it could be even possible that he started seeing her behind my back which is why he was avoiding me on the weekends… It’s ironic that he would act how he did bc during the relationship, we always laughed about how people just can’t be real and how ghosting sucks and then he does exactly what he said that he wouldn’t do… I had nothing but pure intentions from the jump. Even when he didn’t have a job, I was there for him and he doesn’t even have a car. I don’t like guys with cars. I lowered my standards for him.. I never wish bad on anyone but all I will say is, I hope that what he did eats him up inside and he regrets it bc that’s how it always goes. I literally did nothing to deserve that and his lack of an explanation says a lot about his character…
No, you were civil. You said what was needed to be said. I feel like this was too long though. Perhaps shorten it a little bit?
It seems like he is playing games though. I've been there and it is best to just dump him. Then again, it would also be cool if you let him know what is bothering you. Tell him that it seems like he is ghosting you. Don’t sound confrontational, he’ll get defensive
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5 Reply
Asker
+1 y
I didn’t realize how long that my message was because I typed it on my notes. I know it was known but I had no other choice but to break up with him that way. He had the opportunity to call me back and we could’ve talked things out but his behavior is just so sorry and lame. He doesn’t deserve a phone call lol
If you aren’t happy in a relationship, then you should definitely break up with them. If you think a phone call isn’t needed, and if you’re SURE that you made the right decision, then don’t call him back. But if you need closure, then it’s best to call him back and just talk this out. Relationship is all about communication
Well me sending the message above was my closure. Unfortunately, I have the tendency to break up with guys when they don’t meet my needs or whatever the case is and they act as if they don’t care so I’m like “did he never care at all?” And I move on, start focusing on me and then they come back months later apologizing? I feel like he may not talk to me sometime this week but do you think he would wanna make amends later on after realizing how much of an asshole he was
If your partner doesn’t meet your needs, then yeah, you should definitely break up. It’s not fair to either of you. Although, it’s best if you talk it out with them before breaking up
Best thing you could do is cut everything out expect the last part. Keep everything starting with "I don't want to force something if it's not meant to be" and remove the rest. Because that last last part is clear and to the point. Also given that it was a break up test you more then likely already made him aware of how you felt and why you where breaking up.
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1 Reply
Asker
+1 y
Yea thank for the honesty. I know my message was really long. I was trying to call him to say everything bc nobody wants to read all of that but he’s a coward and he was avoiding me so I had to get it out someway..
I’d make it 3/4 it’s current length and end with something more final sounding. Like “fine if you want to ghost then go die first. We’re through!” Jk not that serious I’m just joking
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2 Reply
Asker
+1 y
Lol you made me laugh. I’ve been feeling so horrible all day. He said he was sick so that’s why he didn’t reply but he attempted to ghost me 2 weeks ago with a different excuse and I called him and but he is all lovey Dovey and affectionate in person man I don’t get it. He literally replied and said “ight then.”
Lol I don’t get him either relationships are so screwy. My brother is dating this girl and asked to be official and she said let me try online dating first. Like wtf? Is that a yes or no then be more straightforward. Lol whatever sometimes I’m glad I’m single
The question is, once you've sent it and taken a few days to let it sink in, who will it hurt most? My guess is he probably doesn't care anyway and the only person it will hurt is you.
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0 Reply
Anonymous
(18-24)
+1 y
Nothing harsh or mean. Just looks like a giant wall of ghetto speak which would make people around him think he dodged a crazy bullet because he might lie and make a fake story. To show you are done with someone I would recommend not showing them that much effort or attention
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