Am I wrong for being pissed of at my wife for repeatedly waking me up from naps during our entire marriage?

[Anonymous]

Currently i am coming off of a 120 hour work week. Its been a bad week. I wanted to take a nap today because i am beyond exhausted. She is a stay at home wife, NO CHILDREN, Repeat we have NO CHILDREN. And She DOES NOT WORK. During our entire marriage she wakes me up within minutes of starting a nap. its gotten to the point where i am getting sick due to lack of sleep. Can someone please tell me how to solve this cause i have tired telling her that i need sleep, i have tried asking her why she wakes me, and i have tried figuring out if im not meeting some kind of need. She has no good answers for anything. But any time i try to nap or try to sleep in, she wakes me. Its gotten to where im considering divorce.

[hahahmm]

my take is she has a fear of being alone/abandoned. She needs to feel like you are focused on her all the time -- obviously she's wrong for that. You know what's more scary than being afraid of someone not being around? Them actually not being around.

Tell her you will just go sleep in a hotel room or friend's house if she keeps waking you up. Drive away from the house for like an hour too. I bet you she suddenly has an attitude adjustment.

But if that doesn't work, you need to get out of the situation like have your own place. Sorry that's not an easy answer.

She needs some kind of help if she can't stop this on her own.

[hahahmm]

And you should have nipped this in the bud when it first started!

[TommyMountainFigure]

I did long hours too up until a few years ago (London Cabby).. I won't go into why I stopped, but I know exactly how it feels to be mentally drained, and then be sleep deprived.

What I don't understand is, why when she wakes you up, why you don't march her out of the house and then lock the doors behind you. Unplug the doorbell, and tell her you will only let her back in after you've had sleep!

Do that at the most twice and she won't do it again..

[Caroline91]

Tell her that. Tell her that's exactly how much her behavior is affecting you. But consider that you probably need to examine what the emotions underlying your frustration are. Does it make you feel uncared for? Does it make you feel not listened to? Does it make you feel disrespected? Because those are probably the real reasons you are considering divorce and may be themes running throughout the entire fabric of your marriage.

[Asker]

All of the above, and it's made me physically sick. My health is failing. I'm starting to think she is trying to kill me via sleep deprivation.

[Caroline91]

I'm so sorry you are going through this. Sleep deprivation is a serious issue. How is it even possible to work 120 hours a week? That's more that 17 hours a day, 7 days a week. First, you need a life! Are your working so much to get away from dealing with things at home?

Do whatever you need to do to bring some balance to your life. I think you know what you need to do. Hopefully you have friends and/or family as a support system while you make the changes you need to in your life. We all deserve love, respect, joy and peacefulness in our lives. I wish you only the best as you move to resolve your situation.

[Asker]

I plan to, I think ima show her this thread.

[Caroline91]

I think that would be a good start. You don't say how long you have been married. But, no matter what you decide to do, don't put it off. For your own sake. The foundational philosophy my marriage is based on is that everyone in the family helps to ensure that everyone's basic needs are met and then some. If I put his needs above mine and he puts my needs above his, the resulting harmony is unbelievable..

[kylee2437]

What does your wife do if she has no kids and no job? Seems to me she’s out of touch of reality because she doesn’t do anything with her time. That might need to change if you both want to stay married. 120 hour weeks are way too long, and your wife could take that load off by simply contributing to your relationship

[Nerdvana]

I can totally relate to you. I also went through this with someone. And I couldn't figure out for the life of me, why she wouldn't let me take a nap. She was an early riser. Sometimes she would wake up as early at 6 am. I would get home from work at 1 am. She would wake me up on purpose just to "talk". It was very infuriating. I would provide for her, but sometimes I had to work long hours. We eventually broke up.

[Apple1996]

That is pretty fucked up. I let my man nap if he's tired or sick

[Kelley1]

Transfer the money in your joint checking account to an account in your name only and have your pay deposited in that account. Stop giving her money until she behaves.

[spartan55]

Man, I would NOT be having that shit. Time to get scene control at home and stop being such a jellyfish.

[dustybiker2]

I would be inclined to tell her she has three options. Get a hobby, a job, or leave you alone to rest.

[midnightmoon05]

Any reason why she is not working?
if this doesn’t end next week… it will next year… up to you.
don’t be an enabler.

[DryGermanGuy]

Get your wife under control. If she tried that with me a second time, I would yell at her with the loudness for all neighbors able to listen in. 🤬

[Aubrey97]

That's for sure messed up. Is there any reason she can't get a job? Then she'd understand why you need sleep.

[Anonymous]

She’s selfish, that’s all. The fact you’re working these crazy hours to provide for a childless woman when she knows you’re working this hard and still doesn’t get a job, should tell you a lot.

[PeachyPie93]

Be honest tell her you are tired you need sleep, leave me the fuck alone. If she doesn't tell her if she wakes you up again she will be getting a job so you can cut down your hours.

[Anonymous]

We need more info here. Why does she wake you up? Has she answered that? And how does she wake you up? Is she intentionally waking you up by shaking you or something, or is she just being noisy?

[Anonymous]

Tell her to knock it off or else you're getting a divorce.

[jahaims]

What did you think was going to happen when you marry a useless person? You are a simp providing for a useless person and get nothing in return.

[Asker]

Dude, I don't need your insults. You only see one piece of this. Not the whole picture.

[war_daddy]

beat her