How can I help my female friend who’s getting over someone?

[Anonymous]

The female friend in question is actually my ex, and had posted something along the lines of wanting to message him one more the time, presumably the guy who she’s getting over, how can I , as her ex, help her?

[Oliverlogan263]

Alright dude this is kinda tricky since you used to date her and stuff. I'd say just be real careful not to give her mixed signals or get your own hopes up, you gotta look out for yourself too. When she says she wants to message the guy one more time, I'd just tell her real gentle like "I know it's hard to get over someone. But do you really think that's a good idea? Messaging him might just end up making you feel worse."

Then I'd try to get her mind off it by suggesting y'all go do something fun. Maybe hit up the arcade or mall food court, anywhere you guys can just laugh and hang out without even thinking about guys. You want her to see there's more to life than some dude who didn't treat her right. And who knows, being just friends for now might end up being better anyway so you don't wreck things between you again.

As her friend, just listen if she needs to vent but try changing the subject after so she doesn't dwell on it. Remind her how great she is and that the right person will see that. And bro definitely don't make any moves on her yourself right now! She just needs your support as a buddy. It'll take time but if you're there for her as a friend, maybe eventually you'll both be in a better place. Just get through this part calmly and it'll work out.

[Asker]

Thanks man, this is really good advice, definitely gonna try and do that, gonna keep those in mind, a bit tricky cuz she can be closed off, so I’ll work around it, still have feelings kinda, but I’ll suppress them to help her tbh

[Oliverlogan263]

Yeah for sure man, it's definitely going to be tricky navigating this since you still have feelings there too. I can understand that makes it more complicated. But you're right to want to suppress those feelings for now and just focus on being a supportive friend - that's really what she needs most.

Maybe go slow with her at first since she might be closed off, just check in and let her know you're there if she wants to talk. Carrying on normally and not making things weird or intense is key I think. Over time as she opens up more about how she's doing, she'll appreciate you listening without any expectations. And who knows, if you can prove you genuinely just want to help as a friend with no hidden agenda, it might even help those lingering feelings fade on your end too.

Just take it one day at a time and don't force anything. Keep inviting her to chill without pressure. She'll come around when she's ready. You're a good guy for being willing to set aside your own feelings to support her through this breakup. I'm sure with time and space, things will work out for the best - whether that means just staying friends or possibly reconnecting down the road. But for now, friendship is the play. You've got this man!

[Anonymous]

You do the same as anyone friend worth the time would do. Be supportive.